I'll first say that etiquette is really important to me and I don't want to be petty, but I'm leaning towards just giving a card at this wedding my fiance is in. I would appreciate advice about this situation.
My fiance agreed to be in a wedding in the same month as ours a few months ago. When he agreed, he gave the groom a heads up that he had a budget for the wedding, and the groom said the budget was fine. We live far away so we factored in flights. Well then we get the invoice for the tux rental and it's $300 all-in. Okay, we move past it.
Then we see the room block they sent out is twice as much as hotels in the area usually cost. It turns out they failed to mention that their wedding was on huge festival weekend and hotels are starting at $300 a night outside of their one block, so we either get the block or stay 45 minutes away in the next town over. We would stay 45 minutes away gladly but the events my fiance is required to be at go from 5-11 on Friday and 10AM - 9PM on Saturday (long wedding gap because ceremony space is only open during the day). This has also made flights very expensive as the town is primarily serviced by a pretty small airport.
Then we received a very detailed email from the bride about acceptable attire, and it turns out I don't own anything that I can wear to this wedding. They want every woman to be in a gown (even though this is not the formality of the event), but the gown cannot be black, navy, strapless, or have a low back or plunging neckline. So I have to source a gown now.
I'll be honest, I'm tired and a bit insulted as a guest. I don't want to go, but my fiance feels he really needs to be there for his friend, even if we are overbudget. It's a very close friend that my fiance grew up with. So I'm sucking it up and going and spending a ton of money, but I am just not interested in giving a gift on top of all this. I feel like the gift is showing up despite all of this nonsense. Is it bad to just give a congratulatory card?
