Out of town Bachelorette party... and wedding

Where is the bach? If it's in NOLA they wouldn't have to travel, right?

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Well not everyone has to travel, but I'll have about half of my friends and bridal party coming in from out of town. i.e. Houston, St. Paul, Mobile

You should go to where the party will be. Im in the same boat. Living in Mckinney tx and my family is all in Wisconsin. So if they want to have the party in Wisconsin ill fly there for the party so no one has to travel twice. How long do most people wait from the party to their wedding? How close are they supposed to be?

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Well the problem is that a lot of my guests will have to travel for the party and the wedding because of a lot of out of own guests. So I am trying to figure out if it would be more courteous to space out the time between the wedding and the party or if it matters.

I know they cancelled mardi gras for 2021. I would hold off with planning until the fall or winter of 2021

The easiest way to determine what works best for those traveling is to ask them directly. You might not be able to make everyone happy, but it can help to make things more convenient for many. Personally, myself and most of my girls and my bachelorette party were in one state, the wedding another, and my MOH, way across the country from everything. We chatted as a group and came up with something I probably wouldn’t have considered — we had the Bach the weekend before the wedding, best for the traveling MOH as she decided to take the whole week off, come to our state for Bach weekend, then head directly to wedding state afterward to spend the whole week visiting some friends and family. If I was deciding all on my own I would never have presumed she might be interested in taking that whole week off! So it worked out great for us, some of your girls may be able to help with alternative solutions that may make things work for them !

I would wait until summer 2021 to see what the pandemic will decide for you. 8-10 months will be enough time to plan!

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Oh okay, i thought you said that all the guest were in one location and the wedding was another state. Yeah i guess in that case i would maybe do the wedding and party all within a few days of each other. See if maybe the guest can swing that. That's a tough one.

I would have whoever is planning your bachelorette party ask everyone what dates work best for them. Maybe she can throw out 2 or 3 weekends as options and decide on whichever weekend works best for the majority. My bachelorette was 2 months before my wedding to spread out travel.

View Quoted Comment Thank you!

View Quoted Comment Yeah they did cancel parades that’s a good idea

View Quoted Comment That makes sense!

View Quoted Comment Thanks for the insight! I’m definitely going to touch base with the girls then.

Our wedding was out of town for us and everyone invited. My husband has his bachelor party two days prior to our wedding in the same town as our wedding. For my bachelorette, I traveled back home where most of my bridesmaids lived so they wouldn't have the expense of traveling twice. I stayed at my parents' house so I didn't have to worry about the cost.

View Quoted Comment Good idea!! Thank you

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You're welcome

Planning too far ahead is often a major mistake. 4 months or so before the bachelorette, the people planning the bachelorette should ask those involved, what works for you? with a few choices. Read back posts in WW and see how many issues with angry brides or angry friends, and resulting disappointments when parties planned for 5-10 become parties for 3 or 5, or half new people because the originals dropped out. The job and lifestyle changes are not done yet. Unless a family is wealthy, most will have taken a financial hit. A large number of weddings have been rescheduled, others deferred. If those who plan to go to your bach receive invitations to 4-5 weddings , some may displace any planned bach parties. No one is staying home from their sister or other best friend's wedding because a bachelorette was put on the calendar a year in advance. Also, easy for a bride to forget: Unless you are hosting the bachelorette and paying for everyone's lodging, food and drink, and group events , which is possible and gives you planning rights, You do not plan the bachelorette. If you are guest of honor to people paying for themselves and splitting some of yours, 1 or more others are the hosts. Hosts may consult with you, but may choose a party entirely different than you expected. After many decades of all men's bachelor parties and more recent bridesmaid or bachelorette parties lasting only an afternoon or evening, over the last few years there has been a trend toward mini vacations. You are already thinking of when to reserve for one. But when the time comes, it may be that those planning are only interested in a single evening event. Brides who planned themselves ( expected) mini-vacations get pretty bent out of shape when reality kicks in, and friends completely take apart or do not participate in the bride's long made plans. 🙂 Please, wait. 4-5 months before the party, max, and as little as 3 months out, let the hostesses of your bachelorette decide which dates to ask if you are free. ..... Right now, you are like a kid planning her next year's spectacular birthday party weekend, without considering who will give it, and whether they want a trampoline or pony rides. Or when it will be, or for how long. Or how much to spend. Just WAIT.

View Quoted Comment Thanks for the insight! Waiting definitely makes sense. My maid of honor is a little excited and ready to start planning, even if she is just coming up with ideas and rates for now. She told me what she was planning on doing, and asked me what weekend so I was just looking for some advice on timing for others convenience.

View Quoted Comment When you first start out, excited, getting organized seems more sensible than just letting things ride. But a few things are much worse if started to early. Unfortunately, since some scientists showed that when you start event planning sooner, you spend more money overall, particularly with weddings, Tv and websites like this a
WW, the knot have geared up. They recommend timelines doing things months and months earlier than it ever was, or is, necessary. And giving of gifts everytime you turn around. So recommended timelines have you planning parties for as few as 4-10 people 8 months to a year out. A few things not to do too early, or suffer the consequences: choose a wedding party too far out. Most say 8-9 or less is ideal, never more than a year. Because there is nothing a BM needs to do sooner than 6 months out.
Still we have regular posts about brides wanting to fire bridesmaids because they have not do e anything in all the months since they were asked ( 4-10 months ago) and what will they do a year from now at the wedding? And they don't respond to me. Sure, the bride is trying to set hair and makeup 8 months out, and needs deposits. ... And dresses. Because ordering time for dresses is 4-5 months, less with some, since dresses come in 2-10 weeks after ordering, this is another, Wait. Women get engaged and drop out, get pregnant, and gain or loose 30 pounds or 2-3 sizes in a year. Who wants to buy a dress at 1 year, and at 2 .onths pay $250 to alter a $150 dress? What to do if your replacement Bridesmaid finds the dress 2 women got early, was discontinued. And she and the 2 who did not get them, have to do a different dress? If all shop 4-5 moths out, this does not happen. And the last caution: explain to MOH that she is not head of the BM, not their supervisor. And if she plans a party, it must be with others, unless she wants to plan and pay every cent herself. Because BM don't like to be told, I planned, now you pay. No, no. Your MOH is fine pricing various alternatives. And she may want to see who is volunteering to do parties, since not all BM can or want to. And if no one is helping, she can ask any other of your friends or relatives to help. BM don't own showers, or bach. Have fun, both of you!