Out of state maid of honor?

MOH does not have to help with anything, if she wants to help with crafts and stuff that's awesome. But it's entirely a volunteer set-up. Sometimes they throw a shower but that can be organized by the whole bridal party. Really the only thing she has to do is get a dress.

Call her. Be honest. Ask her what she thinks. If youre that close, she will understand either way. Give her the option. Ask what she can or cant commit to. I think its the moh job to plan shower, bachelorette, help with some planning details which may be possible over the phone. She wont be able to dress shop with you but, make sure she keeps in contact with your other bridesmaids. As a woman, we all know, we can get catty.

My MoH lives in another state and while it's been difficult, I wouldn't change a thing. She supports me emotionally the same way she always has.

My MOH is in Florida I'm in NJ she is actually my cousin as well. The only thing that is required of BM and MOH is buy a dress and show up to the wedding in proper attire and sober. Everything else is just extra and not required at all. I would wait your wedding is a year away. It's best to choose your bridal party only 6-8 months in advance no sooner as relationships may change. Good luck.

I was my friends MOH I live in AZ and she's in MO. I planned her bach. party and that was all I did before the wedding. She never asked my to do anything else. Day before and Day of wedding I was there for her and helped with a few last minute things that I offered she never asked for anything.

Also: my cousin has never met my FH as she has lived far away from me since we were in high school. We talk often and say "I love you" to each other..which is not a bond that I have with my closest friend here. But my friend here knows my FH very well and would probably feel more invested than my cousin because of that.

Why do you mean by "feel more invested"?

Your BP is for you not FH so honestly your cousin does not need to know FH. I always knew my cousin would be my MOH no matter who I married.

@Bernadette, those are not requirements for MOH. Also OP, i recommend waiting until next year to pick your bridal party. A lot can change in 1 year.

Lol idk @beachdreams the only wedding experience i really have is ones I've seen on tv. Hah...Doesn't make sense I guess

@jaslynK this is a touchy subject on this forum! I think you answered your inquiry. Your closest friend near by sounds best! Amazing if she wants to help!

We have planned a Aug 2017 wedding too yet haven't set venue or bridal party! So glad not only one working on bridal party! Congrats

@Jaslyn throw out the TV set!!! How some of the women in those shows treat the BP is terrible and usually it's for ratings.

@Bernadette nice advice and description of duties the bridal party can take on!

If she cares about you, I would think she would care about your wedding even if she hasnt met your FH. Also, as others have said, her only must do task is to stand by your side in a dress. Most MOHs do do more, such as plan a shower and Bachelorette party. But you shouldnt be basing your decision on who can do more for your wedding, but rather who do you have the closest relationship with that you want to honor.

You can always have both!

Good point Jenny!! If one is married she can be matron of honor or like dawn said just have both.

I have my matron and 2 bm in other states. We talk so much it's almost like they live here... lots of traveling and schedule coordination but it's worth it

Oh one more thing I live in NJ. My wedding will be in Florida. All of my BP is in Florida!! It's hard but I keep in touch with text and phone calls. I did visit in July so we could all get together and our bachelorette will be a few days before wedding.

Seriously, how is this even a question? You go with who you're closest to and can't imagine not being there.

My MOH is my best friend and also my cousin. We grew up like sisters, but we live in different states (Washington & California). When I asked her to be my MOH, I asked because I couldn't imagine her not standing next to me since she is one of the most important people in my life. When I asked her, there were no expectations of her doing anything but showing up on the day. I was grateful enough when she took a train to visit and go dress shopping, but that wasn't the expectation.

Ultimately it's your decision, but if you choose someone out of convenience, do you think you'll be able to look back and feel like you've made the right decision?

Yeah my bridesmaids and MOH all live in Iowa, where we're getting married but in different parts. I live in MO. so, I'll probably just have them order their dresses online. And the groomsmen are spread across 4 states so same deal.