Our struggles and frustration throughout the wedding planning process

Nas - we are at that "fuck you" point with some people as well. It's just disappointing to see the true colors of others throughout the planning.

Megan - 1 isn't the whole dress thing driving you insane? Cos my MOH not getting her dress yet is driving me absolutely insane. 2 holy shit 269 and FHs family isn't included? As for small babies.. good question. 3- I know your wedding is in Oct. where are you located exactly? If it's tented, you should be fine. Just see if you could have options to close the tent surrounding to make sure that the rain won't come inside the tent. 4- oh my goodness.

Private user - I'm feeling the exact same way. And it's horrible to feel that way but my expectations were not exceeded..

Kaylen - lol I've cried over the bridal party issues more than anything .. so it's okay - totally understandable!

Stacey - yes, we are spending money that we don't really want to spend.. but you have a point. To save the family drama. That never ends well.

Future Mrs cohen - I would be so pissed to find out about the meal change. It looks like we have the same situation - I live in FL and my wedding is in NJ. Our family are from NJ/NY.

Felicia - I'm so glad I'm not the only one getting frustrated over the fact that the MOH hasn't gotten her dress yet. And omg, feel better!

Silver lava - weddings seem to always cause family drama.. there's already so much drama in mine it's ridiculous. I just want to scream and be like "grow the fuck up.. you're adults. Get the fuck over it."

1-My FMIL tried to invite family attorney (umm?), FHs ex and family (who she constantly talks about), and someone she knows i dont like. I won all of these.

2- my MOH has flaked on me. She doesn't even talk to me anymore unless I call or go see her. Thanks a lot, I see how much our relationship means to you.

3- why is it sooo hard to get addresses?!?! Ive only been asking for 3 months. HELP!!

I'm seeing that our wedding planning is bringing out the best in some people (sarcastic).

People are making it about them...true colors are revealed.

Our guest list went from 50 to 70 because FH didn't want to leave anyone out. One thing that seems to baffle me is why his brother's ex-wife is coming to the wedding. My FH says "oh she'll be cool". When everyone knows his brother's new wife doesn't like her and there's so much tension when she's around. I get it his brother has a grown daughter with her but the key word is GROWN. I'm a no drama...no stress kinda of person. I mean seriously who does that? His brother's new wife is already insecure why make it worse by coming around? Anyway, I recently had to change bakers because the first one flaked on me. I'm trying to figure out where everyone is sleeping because they all seem to want to stay at our home which is fine but I'm all about hospitality. My hair and make- up person has not gotten back to me when I book two appointments (mom & me) with her over 3 months ago (deposit paid). Oh and I still have to figure out where I'm getting dress the day of because our early check-in is not guaranteed nor is there any rooms available the day before or that day. Our venue coordinator hasn't confirmed our early morning set-up when she was supposed to do it before our drink tasting yesterday.

@ALSpit - Haha we are already married. Not sure if my date or profile shows. Anyways it all worked out in the end because you know, common sense prevailed.

We had a wonderful wedding.

Honestly I'm so over FH's family. With his sister jumping into conversations about adding people.

I told her yesterday we are paying for this wedding you shouldn't be having conversations with people about inviting them to our wedding, she told me to calm down. I really wanted to throw something heavy at her face.

We should have a slice of the budget pie chart labeled "Cost to Avoid Future Family Drama"

Honestly it's family stuff , fh and I not having our dads or moms here has been so hard . Fh brother just had his wedding this past Saturday and omg so much crying . I would give anything to have them here and it's not possible .

The most frustration, like pp said is the guest list. I'm not inviting like 4 cousins and their families because I just do not associate with them. The only time I see 2 of them is at a funeral. The other 2 are just inconsiderate in the first place.

@ALSpit This was literally me last night. I keep wondering, "What were we thinking!?" I'm so excited for all of the planning and stress to be over, so we can just enjoy our day. Planning a big wedding brings up so many weird feelings and difficult situations. Right now, I'm feeling frustrated by how many people haven't bothered to RSVP! Trying not to take things personally and focus on the light at the end of the tunnel.

I'm having all the same frustrations you are and I'm just ready for it to be over

Getting my damn wedding bands. Supposedly "today is the day," but I've heard that one before.

FMIL and guest list, for sure. FMIL thinks that everything we have chosen sucks and her ideas are better and should rule. No, she's not paying. She cannot accept that we have this totally under control which is quite frustrating.

As far as the guest list. FH is very outgoing and sociable, and makes friends easily and quickly. His list has several people I've never heard of, let alone met, whereas I didn't have the guts to tell my dad I didn't want to invite all cousins and therefore had to cut friends.

@Jenny thanks for making me laugh about all of this for the first time! So nice to talk to people who understand the insanity.

FMIL & FFIL inviting FH's tons of long lost cousins and relatives who he hasn't seen in years (and I haven't met) which makes the guest list end up in like a 65-35 split in his favor. They are contributing a large amount but I am annoyed there will be a lot of people there I don't even know. Also money, we have been saving up monthly for over a year and can't go out and do anything fun or go on dates anymore which has caused fights and tears from being cooped up in the house with nothing to do for so long. Also FH's mom and grandma and their super outdated traditionalist ideas that they keep trying to push on us and saying we "have" to do things certain ways like it was done 20-30 years ago. Additionally every time we see FH's mom and dad they constantly ask about tiny details (like what to put in the hotel guests' welcome bags..) meanwhile we are still finalizing bigger things like rehearsal dinner location etc.. it stresses both of us out and every time we say we wish we could just fly to vegas right now and get it over with!

Picking out the BM dresses was the most stressful so far, too many opinions and I'm too nice...also choosing the rehearsal dinner restaurant was tough. Not many near our wedding venue that had semi private areas for our group that weren't too pricey. Finally found one though!

- Guest list;

- Florist got the type of flowers and the color of flowers wrong for the mock-up;

- The makeup/hair artists did not allocate enough time and had already booked another wedding for a few hours prior. I might have to find someone else now with only 3 months to the wedding.

No offense to anyone, but seeing others' issues makes me feel slightly better about mine. I know everyone has their ups and downs, but you guys have some shocking stories! I hope everything goes smoothly at your weddings

My issues I've attempted to conquer and forget...

1.) FMIL... She hated me from the beginning. I'm not sure why, but she has. FH is an only child so maybe she feels protective? IDK! ANYWAY! We told our family and his that we were planning it and we were covering it and that no one has to worry (short version). Well apparently she didn't like that and started booking vendors behind our back for us and then telling us AFTER the fact. So we had to have that awkward conversation with a bunch of people that no, we will not be using their services. Thankfully, she's calmed down.

2.) RSVPs... We've started getting RSVPs back which yay! but of course issues have arisen. We are having a somewhat adult only reception, minus children in the wedding. I addressed envelopes to the couples only, but there were some who marked their kids down anyway. This has been on FH's side of the guest list, so I don't know all the female spouses, usually just meeting the husbands as these men were my friends too when FH and I met. We have called and let them know, nicely, it isn't possible for the children to come. Unfortunately, some of the mothers have thrown fits that their children are not invited. These women are also in the wedding industry so I'm pretty sure they should know. Then we look like the bad people.

3.) The suits... We're going through an online boutique since our wedding party is all over the country and everything is easily customizable or so I thought. When we first picked everything out, we got everything we wanted and sent out the requests for the men to get fitted and order their tux. I went to relook at our tuxes about a month ago to make sure the dudes were on track. Well, they changed the site without telling us and within changing the site changed the tuxes completely. I was on the phone with customer service for three hours trying to get them back to what we wanted...which we never did. Just gave up on that.

4.) Our rehearsal... Our rehearsal is super special to us since we'll be seeing family and friends who we don't see all the time due to distance, before the big day. We couldn't book our rehearsal until 1 month before our wedding (just got it) so no one could make plans until that was set which I get, but still super frustrating. AND THEN the restaurant we were having the dinner just caught on fire. It was a kitchen fire in a VERY old wooden building so now we're scrambling to find a back up.

I'm sure I could continue with little ones, but those are my biggies. Thankfully we have a small party so there have been no issues there and everyone (minus FILs - just cranky people) have been supportive. ALWAYS wishing we eloped, but we know the party aspect will be really fun and seeing everyone we don't always get to see will be worth it.

WKC- 1.. what the fuck? 2. Wow. How long were you two friends? 3. How I did it was fb and ask others if they knew others addresses. For instance, for my second uncle and cousins and aunts, I asked my grandpa for them.

Long Island bride - I seriously cannot agree any more than what you just said..... they really fucking are!

Rochelle - oh my god, sounds like major drama is about to happen.. yeah seriously, who the fuck does that... how were the reviews for the hair and makeup person? Always rely on that! Keep bugging them until they respond. And oh my goodness, I hope everything comes together for you within the next 3 weeks.

VC - lol nothing shows but glad you mentioned it and good!

Kat - you should've just said, "fine.. you want to invite people? Then you pay for them." Simple as that.

Jenny - OMG YES! Or even friend drama!!

Penny - I think majority of us are struggling with the guest list because there's always going to be some divorced people and etc and it causes nothing but fights and etc. I would've just honestly at this point said fuck it.. let's go to an island and elope.

ALS - I'm so sorry for your losses. I cannot imagine what it feels like

Future Bennis - it's basically family that I'm seeing a lot of frustrations here.

Little dog - in the beginning, I was thrilled. Everyone was. Then, I started getting on top of it, provided a lot of options, and my MOH was just being all bitchy over the dress shit. For instance, I chose 17 dresses for them to choose from. All same color. Everyone BUT her got it. She goes to try on some dresses back in April, says that she hates DB, doesn't have enough plus size dresses to try on, and decides that she wants to wait until the first week of June to order a dress. But not from DB! From weddington. So I just basically flat out said.. "don't fucking get blue. Just get coral." I wanted to so much say, I'm fucking over your bitchy fits over this shit. The last time I checked, it's my day. You'll have yours whenever it happens. But I just stayed leveled. But you are right. It brings up mixed feelings and etc.

Hannah - crying to FH is really comforting ... but it's not comforting when you're crying over the same things for months.. and just getting super stressed out over it.

Kelsey - when did you order them? Or purchase them?

Sagan - oh lord. Monster in law in the making ... and I'm assuming that your dad is paying for all of it? there's a way you guys will have to figure out to negotiate.

Stacey - the planning makes us insane.. luckily, we have our FHs to keep us SANE

Johanna - oh lord. We normally would take a huge portion of our paychecks and put it into savings and then rest would be for fun. Dates don't necessarily have to be costly. You could just save 10 dollars to get ice cream together. Or something. I'm with you on the vegas elopement!

Nicole - YOU AND I ARE THE SAME! I was too nice about it and very flexible and I got backfired. Read above comments for further info on MOH. I'm glad you were able to find a rehearsal location!

Stoked to be a saucier - that was horrible of the hair/makeup artist to book another wedding knowing about yours prior.. that shows poor business! If you want to see who is open, I would suggest looking on thumbtack. I got some of my vendors from there with such great deals!

Erin - you and me both. I'm so happy that I'm not alone! The mom is probably scared to lose her only child.. and no she fucking didn't....!!!! Oh my god that's horrible. And well, you did label it right and on purpose. So they need to get the fuck over it and understand that. If not, don't bother going. As for the suits, someone should've warned you! What did you end up doing? As for the rehearsal, I'm so sorry to hear that I hope you find something quick! Yes it'll be worth it in the end.

We are to the point that we are eloping. I'm googling things right now. Between his family & mine giving unnecessary opinions when they aren't paying for any of the wedding, his mom buying things with out asking & expecting us to use them for the wedding, & no cooperation on things that we do ask for. We are just done. We are going to elope & then have a big party in September because we have already paid a non refundable deposit on the reception venue.

This wedding is supposed to be about us & our love for each other. It's turning into a poop show of opinions.