Our officiant canceled on us - how do i respond to her? Or should i not?

Highly unprofessional of her, and I'm so sorry. This is the LAST thing you should have to stress about with less than a month to go before your wedding. I honestly wouldn't respond and would instead focus your efforts on working with the "kommun" to find a new officiant

Thank you for your response. You are right.

Hi Kate!

I'm so sorry this has happened to you.

I would agree with the previous poster and advise you don't email her and focus on finding a new officiant with the "kommun". This is a wonderful time in your lives, and with the wedding so soon, you don't want to get into a negative space. Stay positive and work on getting it resolved

Also, bear in mind this officiant may know others in the area. If any altercation happens via email, this could spread via word of mouth to other officiants. So maybe best at this point to steer clear

When you spoke with the "kommun" today, what did they say about a replacement? Did they seem confident they can find someone in time?

Hi Cliodhna,

Thanks so much for your response. The conversation with the guy at the kommun was a bit strange to be honest. I told him right away that the officiant had said in her e-mail that she had told them and he revealed that yes, that was true. So I explained that they needed to find someone right away (as if that should be any surprise, lol), that we had planned a meeting with her to go over everything on June 4th, etc, and he said he'd look into it right away. But I was not left feeling confident, no. Maybe it's because Swedish people are just more reserved than us Americans so things come off a bit cold. But, I have to take his word for it and trust him. I mean, it has to work out.. we can't get married without an officiant.

I think I'm most upset about the fact that no one bothered to tell us right away. Sigh. Doesn't feel like people care.

It is very upsetting and frustrating when you're trying to plan a wedding! You have so much to do in the whole process and this was one thing that was ticked off as complete and now it's not, so I completely understand

Fingers crossed he has an updated with good news soon! Did he say when to expect to hear from him?

Oh Id definitely would email her and let her know. If she gave no explanation then yes Id email her. If she had emailed you and said an emergency ect happened then honestly there isn't much to do, but professionally she should have reached out to other officiants to help you find one since its 3 weeks away. I've planned paid for contracted with all my vendors almost a year in advance. Good luck!

We ended up getting a new officiant yesterday! The guy at city hall who handles weddings reached out to the people who are officiants, and someone got back to him almost right after we left the building (we had gone over there to follow up in person). We called her yesterday evening, and we set up a meeting for next Tuesday (the same one we were supposed to have with the lady who canceled) so everything is working out. Very happy! Thank you so much for your kind words and good vibes!

We were set up with a new officiant yesterday and we are so relieved, so it's just something we can let go. But thank you for your advice. As for contracts, we live in Sweden, and when you get married at city hall, you don't pay for your officiant. It's free! And there is no contract. That's how most things are here, honestly. The hard part is that you can't choose who marries you. The city has people who work as officiants and you are set up with one by them. If we had been allowed to have a friend marry us, we would've gone that route, but we couldn't. Just glad it all worked out!

Phew! I'm so happy to hear you got everything resolved and everything is back on track

Good luck with the meeting next week!

Thanks so much!