Our money

Absolutely Makes sense, since you’re the ones paying for it.

Yes you can. Keep your guests' comfort in mind. What are you being pressured to do?

Are you the same person who just posted about making guests pay for their own meals at a restaurant due to your sister's food sensitivities? If not, my apologies if this is a different Stephanie getting married in June 2021. You can certainly have the ceremony and reception the way you want it, as long as you provide your guests with some kind of food.

View Quoted Comment Nope, but I have a sister with celiac disease a medical condition that’s pretty debilitating if ingested or touched something with gluten.

What are you planning that everyone’s having a cow about?

We paid for the wedding ourselves and definitely had it the way we wanted. You can make it the way you want by doing DIY and cutting corners where you can. It’s all about your budget, so don’t overpay to have a giant Cinderella wedding if you can’t afford it. Also, I wouldn’t have wanted to take money from my parents or his parents because, at least for us, it was more rewarding paying for the wedding ourselves.

Yes, you can make your wedding whatever you want, but when you decide to invite people to attend your wedding, they should be a priority.

View Quoted Comment Why cater to them and make them feel special, it’s MY day #1, and #2 their gonna piss and moan anyway about anything and everything, so why reward bad behavior!!!! Just speaking my mind

View Quoted Comment My mother wants us to pay for dinner (not a reception) ( not sure what we’re doing yet) but I have a few other ideas but we’re on a tight budget and we don’t have mommy and daddy to pay for this, so the pressure is really really on!!!!

If you don't want to pay for a reception, don't invite any guests.

Sorry girl but no matter which way you look at it, you can’t make your guests pay for their own meal. Cut the guest list to what you can afford. Talk with the caterer about what your sister can eat, maybe have her bring her own meal if she’s concerned about what might happen. You’re right about this being your day but don’t expect/demand guests to pay for their own meal.

If you don’t want to pay for a reception, why don’t you elope? That way all you have to consider is what the two of you want.

View Quoted Comment So...don’t invite them?

View Quoted Comment

Ah, ok. If your wedding reception will be at dinnertime, then you definitely need to cover the cost of dinner. Luckily, these days, there is no shortage of caterers and restaurants that are excellent at accommodating guests with celiac. If your reception is at dinnertime, then your mother is right in insisting that you pay for the dinner. Guests should never have to pay for their own meals at weddings

View Quoted Comment If you're having guests pay for their own meals, then you're not really using just YOUR money for your wedding, are you? You're defeating your own logic. With the attitude you have about guests, maybe you should simply not have any.

I don’t understand your previous comments OP. You are saying you don’t want to reward bad behavior but what are you referring to? The only accommodation you’ve seemed to need to make so far is having gluten free food available for your sister which really isn’t that difficult?

You can have the ceremony and reception that you want, yes. But you still have to host your guests appropriately, and that includes paying for their food and drink, and making sure there’s food which caters to dietary requirements. My bestie (who was my MOH) is coeliac and it was one of the first things we discussed with our caterer, and one tier of our cake was gluten-free and tasted equally good - if you didn’t know if was GF you’d never guess. We had a guest who doesn’t eat red meat or seafood, so we made sure there was a chicken dish available. It was never even a question of whether we should do this.

If you can’t find it in the budget to have a full meal, you don’t have to. A “cake and punch” or afternoon tea reception is completely acceptable, so long as it’s not over a meal time (eg 2pm ceremony, reception 2:30-5pm). If your parents are pushing you to have a dinner, tell them it’s not in the budget unless they’re offering to pay for it (and don’t count on the money until it’s in your bank account). But you do have to host your guests properly, and that doesn’t entail them paying for their meals. What you could do is have a cake and punch reception, but spread the word verbally that you’re going to x restaurant for dinner following the reception and would be happy if anyone wanted to join you there at their own cost.

View Quoted Comment I was referring to guests who complain about EVERYTHING!!!! You know the ones who are never happy and have to make EVERYONES lives miserable in the process!!!

View Quoted Comment There will always be someone who complains because frankly the only person you can 100% please is yourself. Don’t worry about them in the slightest, you do what you want to do and works best for your circumstances.
If you have a tight budget - think about what you envision your special day to look like and how you can make that magic happen within your budget.

Ya, if you're going to have a formal meal, the hosts should pay for everyone. If it's too pricey for your budget, maybe have an informal meal like pizza & wings, a potluck or a bbq at your place.