Our DJ Messed up Our First Dance AND Father/Daughter Dance!!!!

I emailed our DJ about a week before the wedding and explained that we wanted to change our First Dance song to a version of "The Way You Look Tonight" found on the Father of the Bride soundtrack. I told him that since this was not a very common version, I would be more than happy to drop off my soundtrack to him ahead of time. He emailed me back telling me it was no problem and he actually had a copy of the song.

Well at our first dance, the music started playing and it was not "The Way You Look Tonight" but rather the song we picked before that. I was disappointed because it kinda messed up our dance since we weren't expecting it but I figured hey, no big deal. We both liked that song anyways so it was cool and I didn't go up to him afterwards and tell him as we were obviously super busy and dinner was served afterwards.

(Cont)

After dinner my dad and I went out for the father/daughter dance. Now let me say that my dad and I have had a rocky relationship the past few years and we recently have gotten a lot closer and we now have a really good relationship So my dad actually picked the song we were going to dance to as he said it reminded him of me. It's "True Colors" by Phil Collins. I literally had cried hearing the song and thinking of my dad and it was just so special. Well, the DJ started playing "The Way You Look Tonight" instead of our song! I could not dance to this with my dad as we both had our hearts set of "True Colors". I marched right over to the DJ and said "This is not the song. It's True Colors". He replied, "Oh, I must have gotten confused because you said the other song was on the "Father of the Bride" soundtrack so I thought you were changing your father/daughter song." Then he said we had to "wait for him to download it". We awkwardly waited about 5 min before he got the song!!

It was so embarrassing for me and my dad! I don't know if I should bring it up when my DH and I go to see our pics since his wife is the photographer and I don't want her to be mad and not do a good job on our pics. Although I am very surprised that he didn't call after or email apologizing for the situation. I don't know what to do. Do I ask for some kind of refund? Let me know your opinions, thanks!

It sounds like a lack of communication. You probably should have called him instead of e-mail.

I'm sure it was an honest mistake, but I'd be pissed! He definitely owes you an apology. People make mistakes and in the wedding industry, it's just another day for him, but it's a special one for you.

Shannah, I actually forgot to mention that he called me to confirm everything 3 days before. I confirmed with him over the phone saying, "So it's no problem to change our first dance to "The Way You Look Tonight"? And he said "yeah no problem, I have the version of the song". My DH even remembers listening to me speak with him.

Tatyana, exactly. I am a really shy person and definitely not one to complain to people (especially in person!) so I'm thinking about just letting it go. But some friends and family have told me that I should definitely bring it up when we meet with them and maybe we will get some kind of discount on pictures or something.

I dwelled over those kinds of details for a while after our wedding. I'm sure other people didn't notice them the way I did, but it's still annoying when you spend so much time trying to plan and stay organized and communicate well.

I don't think a refund is in order but if you really think they didn't do what you asked and if you feel disappointed, it's totally fair to write that up in a review.

Stuff does happen. Our DJ was supposed to transition into a high-energy song after the first dance but instead he announced that we wanted to invite all couples on the dance floor to join us for the song "Unforgettable." H and I were really confused and it felt really awkward to the two of us. Um, our parents are all single!! We so did not want to call out "couples". But, whatever, people just humored him and filled the dance floor and then he played a high energy song and it was fine.

I say definitely bring it up to him. He at the very least owes you an apology for making that mistake. Granted, everyone makes mistakes however it's a very important day in your life and he should have been prepared. The fact that you did speak to him days prior and confirmed with him that it would not be an issue that you changed things up, doesn't mean he should slide. I think he owes you and DH an apology. I can't say that he and his wife will give you a discount on the photos cause that may seem like a stretch but you never know. Good luck.

I would at least mention it. We had issues with our church's wedding coordinator and our priest will be hearing about it, because we can never get back what she took from us so I would mention it

If nothing lse, I agree with the ladies, please mention it. Yes, whats done is done but at least you will feel better by speaking with him about this. He really needs to work on his communciation skills with his customers. At the time you spoke with him over the phone, he was probably multi tasking and from that had selective hearing. yes, we are all human and make mistakes, but unless we hear someone correct us on them, how will we ever learn from them. He is in that business where he is used to hearing feedback and if not, he very well should. I hope this all works out for you. Keep us posted.

I'd say something and ask for some sort of compensation. I wouldn't ask for a discount on the pictures unless he didn't give you any other options. It sounds like you're upset at him not his wife. Good luck and let us know what happens.

I'm so bad at confrontation (especially in person!) My mom wants to come with DH and I to see the "preview" of our pics and she's pretty good at being frank with people without being rude. My DH and I are both terrible at confrontation---we're too nice! lol I was thinking of bringing her along and maybe she will bring it up? Is that a good or bad idea?

Don't bring your mom! I feel like as a grownup if you bring a parent with you to help state your case, it kind of makes you seem less serious. You're a big girl, you and H can do this on your own if it's important to you!

I know confrontation can be hard though. I would try writing out your concerns a few times to really clarify what you need to say and what you're wanting to accomplish by saying it. That can help walking into a conversation like that, you know you actually have valid points and you're not just going to be emotional and not make sense.

And also by clarifying what you want, you'll have more of a point and you'll be more likely to get what you want. If you just need to get it off your chest and you want them to acknowledge a mistake or apologize, that's going to be a way different conversation than asking for a discount or refund.

No, that is wrong, if he was confused he needed to pick up the phone and talk to you!! and before the reception/day of your wedding he needed to go over EVERY thing with you. All major songs.

Further more to me it seems like your wedding coordinator should have double checked he had the right songs, any wedding planner I've worked with always checks before cake cutting, first dance etc. that the song is lined up and ready to go.

you need to bring this up if you are still upset. I personally would be livid, father daughter dance is one part of my wedding i look the most forward to and if some one messed that up i would have done more than calmly walk over and say wrong song

Don't bring your mom. Justine is right; your coordinator should have followed up on this.

Mrs. Wright-

The DJ was not only wrong in playing the incorrect song, he was also unprofessional in that he did not have "True Colors" already downloaded and ready to go. I know having done hundreds of weddings that last minute changes occur. When I have one, I still have the previous choices ready to play as the B&G often want them for other special moments or sometimes they change their minds again. Playing the wrong song, it is a mistake that can be made. Not having the correct song ready when it was a previous choice, unacceptable.

He should make it right with you. Have your coordinator deal with him- that's what you paid them for... Good luck & congrats!

You guys are right about not having my mom bring it up. Although I am taking her with us so she can see the preview of the pics. I think I will bring it up or have my DH say something. I know my DH was pretty pissed about it so he might be more willing than he would normally be. Sometimes it's hard to be a big girl when it means you gotta complain to people :-P

KC, it's good to know that the DJ was definitely in the wrong in this situation. I didn't know if maybe I was over-reacting. The worst part was honestly standing around waiting for him to download the right song. My dad was PISSED but he didn't say anything at the time. He told me that he saw the DJ after the wedding when he was cleaning up and just gave him a mean look, haha! My dad is so silly!