optting to stop sex before wedding

We did, but it was easy for us since we were on opposite coasts. So we were okay for 4 months. He flew in the Sunday before the wedding and my Wednesday all bets were off. After that we lasted all the way to saturday

Truthfully, I don't think it made the wedding night any worse by doing it on Wed. The wedding night is special all on its own and its your first time as husband and wife.

We have been debating it. I'm not sure about it being healthy, that wouldn't be our reason. We might do it just because of how gratifying, awesome, emotional, fulfilling, etc it will make the honeymoon after holding off for a while.

My new husband and I have been very busy and stressed planning the wedding and working. He started a new job two weeks before the wedding.That naturally slowed things down. I didn't get the wedding night consumation of my dreams due to my monthly gift and being tired from a really great party. I'd say play it by ear. I'm looking forward to a great night soon, but if slowing things down puts some distance in your relationship it's not worth it.

We were sharing the same feeling. It was just some of the emotions attached to waiting that we liked. we've been at this for 6 months now... I just thinking with the stress of everything else in our lives. was this really a good idea? There were a lot of emotions that have stemed from this that he or I had ever considered.

We have been abstaining for the last 6 months and it's driving me crazy!! It was a choice though, don't think this will make a relationship healthy/unhealthy if you don't stop having sex.

Haha really looking fwd to the wedding night!!

Yady I think thats the only thing that makes this worth it.... The cool thing and the stressful thing is it makes you really have to work on your communication..... will make it....

I'll give the other side of the opinion. We're not planning on doing anything like this, and frankly I don't really understand it, unless you've abstained from the beginning. I think the time planning a wedding, especially when it gets close, is stressful enough and then add being frustrated because you can't have sex you were already having. However, I'm not religious or spiritual, so that's part of our reason, too, for not doing it.

Though, that being said, I respect everyone's opinion to do what they wish in their own relationship.

KarateChick this is percisely my concern.... there wasn't really a spritual reason for doing it... at the time we thought it would be a good idea. It just leaves me to wonder if we are doing more damgae then good with this "bright idea"

@Jennifer, yes.. it will be so worth it!!

@KarateChick, for me it's not religious or anything to that matter.. it was a choice b/c wedding planning was making me bitchy and resentful towards him.. and I know right now I am counting the days for the wedding!!

My FH have discussed it. his answer was we will be abstaining the night before and that's enough! relations is his way of expressing himself emotionally so i don't want to tell him we have to wait x-amount of time before our wedding day for relations. we've lived together for more than 5 years so i don't see any reason why we'd have to stop before the big day nor do i think it will make our wedding night any more special. we'll probably be too exhausted to do anything that night anyway!

I do not believe that it is healthy for the relationship or the wedding night. Face it, guys have to build up their stamina. If you go for a prolonged period of time without nookie, then they begin to lose that stamina. Would you really want your wedding night to be filled with resentment, embarrasment and premature ejaculation? Just MHO...

My FH and I are both Christians so NO SEX until then. We want God's blessing to do it and thankfully, he lives in Florida and me in Texas... otherwise... it would be difficult for us. The only advise I would give you would be based on my Christians beliefs so I can just say, hang in there!

FH actually asked me about doing that ... my response was you been in Iraq for how many months? -You will be living in CO while i am in PA for almost a year just see each other now and then and you dont want sex? Needless to say we are not waiting.

Tired of waiting

We have no intentions of waiting or withholding before the wedding. We're on hold right now because of not being able to have sex due to my surgery. That situation has strengthened us, because he's had to take care of me. But it wasn't because of holding out on sex, but because of the emotional trials we went through together.

I don't see the point in waiting if you're already having sex. I'm sure it works for some people, I just don't get it.

I am having to only because of our promise to our preacher. ITS HARD!!! Good luck Jennifer G. I believe its going to be WELL worth the wait if you decide to!

@yady - thank you for the encouragement!

Well we commited to it for whatever reason.... and we've made it this long only a few months left

It is 12 days before my wedding and we are abstaining until then by choice, but I was going to do a month before the wedding, and it is half a month (15 days). The only reason I want to abstain at all is to make it more exciting and feel better the wedding night. Otherwise, its sex like always.....we once went 6 months (the end of my pregnancy and afterwards 6 weeks) and when we finally touched again it was AMAZING, so I want to bring the spark back wedding night. But I should have abstained for longer, we are just weak....

My FH and I are really only going to not sleep in the same bed the night before the wedding. I am truely impressed with couples that can last several months I don't have the will power. Plus: sex is an awesome release, wedding planning is stressful enough. Last point: Pretty sure the FH would revolt if I made this decision.