Opinions on parents paying for wedding?

We assumed we'd be paying for the vast majority. Between my parents contribution and his parents paying for the rehearsal, I'd say we're coming close to 80% being on us. My parents gave us $6k, his parents are taking care of the very casual rehearsal dinner. Our total is looking to be close to $25k, excluding the honeymoon that we are also paying for. With that, $27k is probably a better bet.

I think it is a very personal choice in families. No one paid for my wedding.

View Quoted Comment Take the money you would have spent if they did not pay and buy something like a house. Your folks would be thrilled!!!

We're both pretty young (22+24) and my parents are very traditional, so they are paying for a large portion of the wedding. My FH and I are also paying, and then my FILs are actually helping out monetarily as well, which was a huge surprise.

My FH and I were prepared to pay for it ourselves, though. It is a huge blessing that we have family that's helping, but we wouldn't have expected it. Sadly, that tradition is a pick and choose nowadays, so many families don't follow it, especially as you get older.

This has been an argument with my dad and I. He says he has no money but bought an $11,000 timeshare and is paying for his mother to fly out to see him the month after our wedding but says he can’t help us. I think parents should help but we’ve just gotten to the point where we are just gonna try to do it on our own and if people help us, great. If not, they get 0 input and there’s nothing they can say.

Mine never did I paid 100% on my own

I didn’t expect it though as I paid for 100% of my college too. I worked a lot to achieve it but did it on my own.
I don’t expect anything but sure would have appreciated if they did but I won’t ask anyone for help. It will still rock. Just keep to your budget there are plenty of things you can do option wise to help with cost. Own it and have fun!

View Quoted Comment Totally agree go cheap and buy a house!

We're paying ourselves. Didn't ask anyone for payments. But my brother offered to cater so I agreed. If they want to help that's fine. I don't want nothing outrageous. No 20k wedding. Maybe 10k though

We went into it as if we were paying for everything on our own, and most of it has been on us, but every now and then his parents will offer to cover the charges for something, but it's not something we expected. they offered to pay for invitations and the rehearsal dinner, which was really kind of them. my mom offered to pay half of the venue fee, but i won't accept her money because she needs it more than we do. it really just depends on each person's situation in life. i think most parents will want to help, but some don't and that's their choice. my dad's not helping, but i haven't spoken to him in years and he's not invited so i certainly didn't expect him to (and i wouldn't have accepted it either).

My fiance and I are paying for a majority of our wedding ourselves, with some help from my mom, who has offered to pay for my dress and the flowers as our wedding present. No one else has mentioned helping and my fiance and I aren't going to bring it up to anyone; we're budgeting and planning on handling it ourselves and I really don't think anyone else will offer, which is 100% fine.

I personally think it's unfair for adults to expect their parents to pay for a wedding; if you're old enough to get married, you're old enough to pay for a wedding. If you can't afford a wedding (which is completely acceptable, weddings are ridiculously expensive), then you should plan something within your budget; that's just a reality of life.

I also think it's unfair for the groom's family to expect the bride's family to pay for the wedding, as the 'logic' behind that tradition no longer applies in many cases - women work now, our dads shouldn't have to throw a party to thank our husbands for taking us on as financial burdens. I think it's unfair for a groom's family to expect the bride's family to follow an antiquated rule, while also expecting the bride to work and be a financial equal in the marriage, you can't enjoy an outdated tradition to shirk a bill, then expect your daughter-in-law to give your son all the benefits of a modern woman. That's a double standard.

That being said, I would be annoyed and a little hurt if anyone offered to help and then went back on that, but only because going back on your word hurts regardless of what it's about. If I were in your situation, I would talk to my dad about it, as his finances, etc. may have changed and he's not sure how to tell you. I know my mom would be upset if she couldn't help me buy my dress and it would be a difficult and emotional discussion. Give your dad the benefit of the doubt, he may not be able to afford helping pay for your wedding, and that will feel worse for him than it does for you.

We are paying for the entire thing ourselves. Our parents havent offered any money and we are about a month out so I'm not expecting it.

Both my fiancés parents and my parents aren't really helping with the wedding. His parents think it's my parents responsibility to pay for the wedding and my parents say it's not a thing anymore for the brides parents to pay, that some famous financial advisor on TV said parents shouldn't have to worry about their adult children, that the parents need to stop spending money on their adult kids and start planning for their retirement. The only thing my parents are paying for is the cake. Other than that everything is on mine and my fiancé shoulders.

Both of my parents (kid of divorced parents here) are helping pay. We are paying for a few things, but they know it’s not cheap to get married and they want to be able to celebrate us!


FH’s parents are chipping in for a few things for the reception and covering the entire rehearsal dinner (they love to stick with traditions).

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I agree that it might have to do with tradition and culture. I already commented on this post, but I am shocked at how many people have paid for their wedding by themselves - not that it's a bad thing! That's great that they can. We are paying for some things by ourselves (like I paid for my dress, the save the dates, etc.). But I went into my wedding expecting my parents to pay for the whole reception. I hope that doesn't sound like a bad thing, but it's just expected. I didn't even ask them to pay. They didn't even ask me how much I would like them to pay. They are just doing it. Shows how much I know!

My mom offered to pay for the cake and a few decor items related to it, but otherwise we are paying it ourselves at this point. My dad is not financially able to contribute and FH's parents haven't offered anything, though he thinks they will at some point (they paid the majority of wedding expenses for all his sibling's weddings). We're not counting on that and planning on paying the rest of the payments ourselves. If they do offer us any money, we'd probably put it aside as we're also planning to start saving for a house down payment.

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Your dad may be telling you that he has no money, but that may mean for a wedding. His money is his money and he can spend it as he chooses.

You need to be prepared to pay for a wedding on your own. If anyone else contributes - great.

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Actually it is cheap to get married. Now, it is not cheap to get married and have a ceremony and reception with family and friends. ;-)

View Quoted Comment You are definitely right about that! I guess I was limping ceremony and reception all in one lol