Opinions on not living together immediately/soon after marriage?

Honey, this is between you and your future husband. Whatever dynamic works for you is great. Why broadcast it to anyone? You'll do what's right for you two when it's right.

I don’t think living with other people is a healthy way to start a marriage. If you’re not financially stable enough to live together on your own, you shouldn’t be getting married. Building a home together on your own is part of marriage and maturing. I hope you take this as advise and not judgement.

Your best friend has nothing to do with the fact that you are choosing to live with your parents after marriage. As I said, you can sign a one year lease , then give one month's notice when you are ready to move. Are you doing it just to save money? Do you both pay rent or room and board to your parents? Or do you both live for free?

Good luck with everything. Seems like you made the right decision (having your FH move into your parents house after the wedding).

Your added information doesn’t help your case, I’m sorry. You have over a year until you’ll be living together, and when you do... you’re moving in with friends? I do not mean this to be mean, honestly. But this is not what married couples do. I think it will be good if he can at least move into your parents house, but I think it would be healthier for your marriage for the two of you to get your own place together.

Honestly, I couldn't imagine moving in with another couple after FH and I get married. I could hardly stand roommates by myself- I highly doubt we would be able to have a healthy relationship with others. Especially when December 2019 is SO far away. You'd be married for 16 months (going off of August 2018 wedding date) before that supposed move may or may not happen (because things can change) and then what happens after that?

I don't believe that you have to live with your fiance before you get married (I can't for job/religious purposes) but if you don't move in together after that... I mean- why get married then? Might as well wait until next year to get married so that that 16 month gap shortens.

I was 19 and dating my FW for 6 months when I moved out of my parents house and in with her. I personally would never marry someone I haven’t lived with, living together really does show you a completely new perspective of your relationship.

I’ve been living with my FH for over a year now and we bought our first house together last fall. I think it’s fairly common to live together before marriage. It’s quite an adjustment to learn how to love with someone who has some of the same and some wildly different styles of life than you do.
however we have a couple who are our friends who are getting married in two weeks and when they come back from their honeymoon, they will come back to their first apt/first time living together.

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This.

H and I are 23/24. We've been living together and moved out on our own since we were 21/22, immediately after graduating college. FWIW, we also moved from Iowa to Arizona when we moved in together. We knew literally not one other person in the entire state.

So you won't move out because you're moving in a year? Leases are normally a year at most, so that's not a problem. What if you don't end up moving?

Having your FH move in with you and your parents is not a great compromise IMO. Do you really want to spend your first year as newlyweds with an audience? What does your friend have to do with anything?

If you aren't financially stable or ready to live on your own with your spouse, you are not ready to be married.

Neither of you live on your own. And you don't plan to live on your own for what appears to be several years into your marriage. Sixteen months married before the move to Virgina to live with roommates for another x number of years? This does not sound like a solid way to build a marriage to me.

View Quoted Comment Yes. This.

Of course what you two want is what matters but in my opinion I would live together for a bit now.you really learn more about each other living together or atleast have him move in to your parents.and if not till your married atleast atleast when you are married. As far as judgments go it's your business and don't supply that your not living together (don't lie if someone asks) to prevent other people judging you, and if your honest with your own integrity, you'll be fine.

View Quoted Comment I agree. 23 and 25 isn’t that “young” I was out of my parents house at 22 already. I would take
an apt for a few months atleast before your big move, because never living with that person and then getting married and then going across country is tough. Living together vs staying at your SO place 3-5 nights a week is totally different

View Quoted Comment Wait you are going to start your marriage by living with roommates? Euhhhhhh

I think it’s weird. But to each it’s own. I’ve been with my FH for nearly 5 yrs. we just moved in together almost 2 yrs ago. I’m still learning his quirks and habits as he is mine. Some ppl just can’t live together... I would want to know that before saying I Do. But that’s just me. I understand you both wanting to save to move next year but that’s a long ways away. I’d talk with Mom and Dad to see if he or you can move in with them. 16 months is a long tine to live apart from your spouse. IMO

I think you guys are right about getting at least a short lease. Its not that we're not financially stable, we both have steady jobs with good enough income. I think you guys have a point with at least the short 6/12 month lease. Thank you guys for your opinions I appreciate them and will talk to my FH

Have either of you lived on your own at all? That’s an extra concern if you haven’t.

Honestly, I feel like what does it even mean to be married if you’re not sharing a household and managing your finances and life together? I also couldn’t imagine not sleeping with my FH almost every night. It’s just a level of closeness we didn’t have before we moved in together.

And him moving in with your parents also seems weird. It reminds me of the episode from Boy Meets World after Cory and Topanga get married and go ask his parents for financial help cause their apartment sucks. You’re married, figure it out. I share a cell phone bill with my mom and my FH is on his family’s plan and even that feels weird to me.

He has previously lived on his own, but his roommate bailed on him in the middle of the lease. I wasn't able to move in because of my commute to work (would make it a two and a half to three hour commute). Thank you for your opinion.

This is probably an unpopular opinion but i literally stayed over my H's house like 6 nights out of the 7 nights a week and saw NO drastic change from living together and sleeping over every night. Also, we didn't move in together until July and our one year wedding anniversary is coming up in a few days. Our situation of not moving in together right after the wedding is a little diffeeent than most because around the time (i guess) couples begin looking for a place to live, i had a severe family emergency on my side right before the wedding that took up a lot of my time and my mind that it just set us back a bit before living together but we live together now just fine with no problem

Idk how to ETA anymore but forgot to mention i slept over often at his house before we got married and moved in together 3 months after marriage and it seriously (for us) wasn't diff at all and wasn't a huge deal