Opinions on not living together immediately/soon after marriage?

I've lived with my FH for 2 years. I stayed over before we lived together a few nights a week, but it was still a big change when I officially moved in.

It is odd to not live together after marriage in my opinion, unless something like travel is holding you back.

Yeah IMO the only thing that should prohibit a coupe from living together right after marriage is deployment or work travel. Why get married if you don’t plan to actually be building a life together yet?

Why can't he move in with you at your parents? That seem like a logical step to me.

To answer your question, my daughter and I moved in with H 15 months before we got married. When I married exH, I had lived with him just over a year. 5 months into our marriage he left on a 1 year deployment though so we spent most of our first year married apart.

Could either one of you live at the others parents home? I feel like full time living together is an important aspect. Getting to know ALL of their nuonses. Especially if you will be moving across the country alone together in the future.

It seems a little odd to me to not live together after marriage IMO. But if you want to save up money for the move and to buy a house, and don't want to deal with the hassle of moving, just to move again, well I can see putting it off. You're aren't moving until December 2019 though. Don't you guys want to just take the plunge and do it?! I wouldn't be able to wait, even if it does already feel like you live together with him spending the night most nights. Would your parents ever be open to letting your FH move in with all of you after the wedding? Just a thought without knowing how many people already live with you all.
My FH and I already live together. We boight a condo together 2.5 years ago.

My cousin got married and he got a job in one city and she got a job and was finishing up school in another city.
They made it work but it’s not for everyone. It will be hard. You will be starting a new and special part of life that is about being a team together but sleeping separately, living essentially separately.
Why not have one of you move in with your parents?
If you guys are ok with it, stick with your plan but yes people will think it’s weird.

If you already spend some nights together at your parent’s house, is there any way he could move in after the wedding? My fiancé and I moved in together a month after the proposal and it definitely changes the dynamics of your relationship. In my opinion, it would be extra important because you are moving cross country together.

Ultimately you have to do what's right you both of you. There are several married couples living separately for personal reasons.

I moved in with fiance four months after we got engaged. He moved in at my parents for two weeks before we got our apartment together. For us, it was more practical that way so he didn't have to spend an entire month of rent at his other place.

I see where you are coming from, but you got to do what works best for your situation. You may want to chat with your parents to see if he could just move in after you get married. They might agree to it since he is already there alot anyways.

I don’t understand the rush to get married if you’re not financially stable enough to move in together after marriage. It doesn’t make sense to me but to each their own.

At a minimum he should move in with you in your parents house. But IMO if would be better to go ahead and find an apartment now, if you aren't moving until Dec that would give you over a year living there. Even though you spend a lot of time together, you are still missing out on some key experiences. Do you review your budget & expenses together? How about things like division of chores?

IMO 25 really isn't that young. Is there a reason you can't move in together now? You both seem old enough to be starting your own life together.

Living together is an important aspect to understanding how the person ticks, in my opinion. It may feel like you are living together, but when you are at one another's respective parents' house it is still like being a guest in someone's home. It is entirely different when it's your own space.
Might be a little late to postpone the wedding until you both move, but maybe one of you can move in with the other at the other's parents?
Good luck no matter what! 😀

Why are you getting married if you don't want to start living like a married couple? You are 23 and 25- not children.

You have 16 months before your move- plenty of time to rent your own place. Even if you sign a one year lease, it will go month to month after that, and you can give notice whenever you are ready to move.

It does seem strange to me because I have been living with my fiancé for 5 years so my situation is different. That being said, do what works for you all and your relationship and ignore the judgement. If it works in your relationship and it fiscally makes sense, do what’s best for you!

Hi! I don’t think getting an apartment before a huge move is wise so good thinking! But do either of your parents have room in their house for both of you? Or would be okay with you staying there? If it’s a short period of time it may work better than being in different houses.

I see where everybody is coming from. I can totally see why it's weird and a bit out of the ordinary. We would not be going to Virginia alone, we have close friends there which we would be moving in to a house with which is probably a key part I should have mentioned. And it probably does seem like we did this backwards - marrying then moving in together. So I see where you are all coming from. I think what it's going to come down to is him moving into my parent's home until we take the leap and move to Virginia. But like somebody said above, it is still a bit different than living solely us. It might still feel like he is a guest in our home.

The reason we are waiting so long is because our best friend is currently in a contract for an apartment until late 2019. Which probably was /another/ key point I missed! Lol, sorry for that. So once he's out of it, we are moving in with him and his partner.

Thank you all for your honest opinions. I appreciate it!

It's a little weird honestly. Why didn't you guys just push off the wedding until next year closer to when you plan to move out of state? People do things differently all the time though, so if that's what you guys want you just have to ignore people's opinion.

I moved in with my fiancé a few months after we got engaged once my lease was up. Why not wait until you two are moving in together next year to get married? Not sure what the rush would really be if there’s no real change from now until then since you’d still only be staying overnight with one another a few times a week.