Opening gifts after the wedding

How odd! I have never ever heard of anything like this. I wouldn't want to do it either! it sounds so awkward and embarrassing. That's what "thank you" cards are for! I would just tell her that it's not something you want to do, whethere it'd traditional or not. Does your FH agree with you so you can have a united front on this? Let him handle his mother. If you are not comfortable with something you shouldn't be pressured into doing it, no matter what. I wish I had a dollar for every MIL issue posted on here, isn't that cliche? I'm in the same boat so I feel for ya. haha Good Luck!

I've never heard of this either. When we were married, we just opened gifts a few days later at my parents' house, since that's where all the gifts were. It was just us and my parents. There was no party.

My cousin had a big brunch the day after and she opened a lot of her gifts, but that wasn't the main reason behind the brunch.

I think its kind of odd to do that as well. Its almost like come look at all the cool things i got. I would tell your FMIL that you are both uncomfortable with it and will not be doing it. She should respect that!

I dont think I would ever do this or even feel comfortable doing this... like Laura said; whats the point of Thank you cards when you can just thank everyone right there with another party?? Getting married and having a wedding isnt about the presents so why put a whole party together for just that?????? Seems materialistic if you ask me... like you would be boasting about everything you got... If your FMIL wants to watch you open gifts she should have thrown you her own bridal shower...

My fiance and I are opening our presents either the day after the wedding or the day after we get back from our honeymoon with probably only our parents and my MOH if she chooses to be there.... thats it...

I would just tell your FMIL that your not comfortable and dont want to do it... plain and simple.

I agree with the others, I have never heard of anything like that.

That's why you have a shower...Honestly, I wouldn't want to be invited to a party like that

I am with you on the relaxing part! It should be a private party for you and your new hubby.

Also, what would you do about cash gifts? Everyone would know who gave how much??? and you wouldn't be able to properly keep track, you would have to have someone else do it, and I don't think I would be comfortable with that.

Best of Luck.

I have never heard of such a thing! and I have been to and in a LOT of weddings. Is she from a different cultural background? I imagine a lot of the gifts will be checks in cards...that would be ackward. If she was upset by you questioning this then she has an issue with control. Put your foot down, it's ok!

There is an older custom (maybe from your mother-in-law's time) where couples distributed "At Home" cards at the wedding to show what their new residence would be and when they would be "at home" to receive guests. The "at home" time would be sometime after the honeymoon was done and traditionally (already) opened wedding gifts would be on display so that guests could drop in, see their gift in a position of prominence in your new home, and just generally browse other gifts. I don't think it ever involved having people there to watch you open them. If you are looking for compromise with MIL, this is an idea, but overall it is somewhat old-fashioned.

My family that lives in the midwest do this. I think it's more for the people from out of town to come to a house (not necessarily the bride and grooms) for a get together before they leave town and the bride and groom open their gifts. I find it odd myself and don't plan on doing that. I don't have a problem setting up a brunch/lunch type get together to see all of the out of town folks that I don't get to see very often but I'm not planning on opening any gifts!

Good luck with the MIL

I have heard of this. Most of the weddings I have attended have a "post wedding" party the day after and open the gifts there and is usually reserved for the wedding party and close family and friends.

A party to open your wedding gifts i never heard of that at all i opened my gifts with my husband then we sent out thank you notes. but a party after your wedding to open your wedding gifts no. I thought thats what a bridal shower was.

I have never heard of this but lately, most couples postpone their honeymoon by a few days, and will host a brunch or breakfast the following morning. Many couples opt to open their gifts then, but usually only if the brunch or breakfast is at a private home and not at a hotel or restaurant.

There are so many different customs, my fiance's family usually opens gifts during the reception in place of dancing. I thought that was really weird, more like a birthday party. Ours we will open at home after the honeymoon. Just do what you want to do, it's your wedding.

I have family in the midwest too and maybe it is just a tradition out there. When trying to look for locations for my hubby to have a vow renewal I saw only one resort offer a room with a brunch to open your gifts the day after your wedding. I thought it was quite odd, since usually whomever is responsible for your gifts holds them safe for you until you come home from your honeymoon and then makes sure you get them after that which is usually when brides and grooms open their gifts. Maybe having someone with you when you open them to write down who gave you what is acceptable or if you have a very intimate wedding I have heard of guests opening gifts then, but having a separate party to open gifts seems like an odd tradition to me. Congratulations on your Wedding. Only a day away!

This is a common thing in the midwest, but I agree with "dr"-it is usually reserved for any wedding party that wishes to join and any family. No one else. Gifts are a private thing, no one else needs to know what you got. Plus, a lot of the weddings I have been in require the wedding party to help tear down the reception hall the next morning. The gift party(where food is usually served) is also a way for the bride and groom to thank them for their help. If you are uncomfortable with your MIL's suggestion, maybe you could compromise. Say you will have a little gathering at the house after you are back and settled and gifts are opened. As kind of an appreciation to those who helped you.

I have heard of having a brunch the day after the wedding to thank all those who came to help you celebrate one last time before they head back home and it is more relaxed. My family is all for this. I just never have heard of gifts being opened up then. I do agree that gift opening is personal and you don't want to know who gave you what. I know you have to open up your gifts at your own Bridal Shower, but have never heard of this tradition before.

We did this! We did a brunch the next day and opened our presents but it was not a huge party! It was just his and my family, grandparents, and wedding party. This way we did not have to tell everyone what we got b/c all of these people care and will ask you. and so we could hang out with everyone a little longer especially wedding party from out of town who would normally just leave b/c they have to be out of their hotel. If you want it to be just you and him then by all means do so, you have to do what you want. but dont rule it out b/c you think it has to be another big party b/c it does not have to be.

This is pretty traditional. Its a time for my FI and my Dad to work in the garage while the girls unwrap and take notes for the Thank you's. We wont have a home until about 6-8 months after the wedding, so we are opening them at my mothers. I will live with family until FI finishes his Hitch for the Navy. Then we will finally live in the same state for the first time ever, and buy our first house.

Maybe if the gathering is really small you would feel better about it. Maybe suggest it to her, that if she would like to host something that you would feel better it being a bonding time with her, and not "another party". This will make her time, efforts, and thoughts seem important without being shut down. Im sure she is just really excited wants to celebrate and just wants to be apart of your lives and to help out in her own way. maybe Suggest a compromise instead of seeming "shut downish" about the idea.

I have been to about 30 weddings and never even seen a gift..people always give money..the gifts are given at a shower. Its just plain awkward to have a party and have everyone watch me count my cash! No way...tell her forget it.

I had the exact situation occur. But it is not really a "party" but rather some close friends and family. I talked to my other friends who had recently got married and they all did this actually w/a small number of people around- I'd say between 10-20. I still think it is weird as does my family- we're actually from the South whereas his family are Californians. So it will likely just be his family and close family friends. I still don't like the idea of doing it but it also seems weird to tell someone "no you cannot watch me open of our gifts" so I guess it is happening.

Still to me, the dread of the shower is doing this so I'm not going to look forward to this after the wedding... but I guess it is "traditional" with some people

I have heard of this before, but I agree - it's a little inappropriate. Like you said, you don't want your guests to feel uncomfortable. Once the wedding is over, you will most definitely just want to relax and open the gifts with your new husband and not deal with all of the pressure! Good luck!