Open Bars and Tipping Jars

Well, there was a tip jar out at our reception--but only because we didn't notice it. I agree with you that guests should not be asked to tip, and that it is up to the couple to tip them.

If it's a no host bar I see no problem with it since you aren't paying them a gratuity up front. If it's an open bar, yup...bad taste. Seems greedy to me.

Hmm every open bar I've been to at weddings have had tips jars..I never really thought about it, i thought it was customary. but ya being I guest it did make me feel a lil bad whenever I didn't put something in there. On the other hand, I'm paying service charges to the venue, but I wonder how much of that actually goes to the bartender..I think what you stated giving the bartenders a tip at the end of the night would be a good way to get around it.

For as much as we are spening on the bar (including the gratuity to the bartenders), they had better not even think about putting out a tip jar. When I tell my guests we are having a free/open bar all night, I don't want/expect them to pay anything out of pocket. Now that you brought this to my attention I must be sure to go over this point with the coordinator when we meet with her to finalize the details.

Honestly I don't know how to feel about them. I feel that if you have already had to pay them a gratuity cost that it's rude of them to have a tip jar. But if you are hosting an open bar and have not paid a gratuity cost I really don't see anything wrong with it. As far as tacky goes, ya it probably is. But I see it as I would tip a bartender at a bar who is doing the same service as they are at my wedding so why shouldn't they receive a gratuity for it. Now if the bride/groom plan to tip them at the end of the night that's different and I can completely understand not allowing a tip jar. There are so many different scenerios really.

We are having an open bar. Our bartenders are part of our catering service. Their fees are broken down in our contract (and they get paid $18/hr) and typically tips come from the hosts. I would say NO WAY to a tip jar if they are getting compensated well and a tip at the end.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. If it is a no host bar, than obviously there should be a tip jar. But, yes, when you pay a gratuity as part of your package, the bartender and all the serving staff receive a portion of the gratuity.

@Andrene....You go girl! I am glad I brought up the subject. I still laugh at the liquor rider on your contract. I just keep rolling my eyes at the FH every time he decides he wants yet another brand.

We are doing our own bar, it is premium and self serve(accept for champagne). One of our friends likes to play bartender to avoid dancing with his wife. He may want to play bartender at the wedding too. And, no I wouldn't tip him either. He would be insulted.

I personally think that if you paid for an open bar (my husband and I paid 12 bucks a person for an open bar) and if you paid the venue gratuity (ours was 20% on top of our costs) then there is no reason for the bartender to put out tip jars. The bartender is getting paid to be there and serve drinks. That all comes out of the gratuity cost, IMHO. There were very few people working our wedding: our wedding coordinator, the cooks, the three people serving drinks and maybe a few people who set up the table linens and plates and bussed the tables, and the bartender. Overall, a maximum of about 10 people worked on our wedding that day. We paid over 2500 dollars in gratuity. If they split that evenly, hypothetically, that is 250 bucks a person for what, maybe 6 hours of work? Not to mention we paid for food per person, cake cutting service, the room, ETC. I am already miffed that 18-20% "gratuity" is obligatory.

@Sandra....You are right, that is a lot of cash, on top of their salary. Re the amount...my father paid 18% for my first wedding, in 1982. He was pissed because the standard restaurant tip then was only 15%.

I was wondering about this too. We are having an open bar for 5 hours and we are paying 18% grautuity up front (which is ~$2500 for our reception site). Not only are we dishing out tons for the premium bar, we are also paying extra to have an additinonal bar stationed outside on the patio... I better not see any tip jars out!

We had an open bar at our reception and our bartender had a tip jar out. To be truthful I didn't think twice about it, but now that I am thinking about it, Gratuity was included in what I paid the venue, so it does seem kinda tacky, after the fact.

I'm going to keep an eye on this because we are paying for a hosted bar, not mention handling fees and gratuity.

Although I think every wedding I've been to had a tip jar on the bar or during the cocktail hour stations. Maybe that is just the norm?

I'm going to be certain that this doesn't happen ... I feel it's greedy ... My Dad is already paying for a gratuity to be included and it's like 22% so no if I see it out, I'm going to casually mention it to the BM, who can casually mention it to my dad, who can casually go over and tell them to please put it away, along with I'm going to make a sign that says Gratuity has already been taken care of ...

We paid gratuity and the bartender put out tip jars. i was fine with it though, bc i thought it was normal as i have seen it at numerous weddings.

Thanks everyone. THis is certainly an interesting phenominon. Imho...if the hosts are paying for the tip, no jar should be placed. Obviously, it goes on at a great many weddings.

I know this question is old and i would like to contribute. Often times the bartenders you see at a wedding or even a catering company are hired by a staffing agency. That staffing agency does NOT give the gratuity to the servers or the bartenders. So depending on the state we can get paid as little as $2.38 an hour plus tips. In Los Angeles our pay can be $13-$25 per hour plus tips. The hourly rate is meant to cover the taxes we will have to pay on the income we make from tips. So bartenders rely on tips otherwise we would have worked an 8 hour shift at your event plus another 2 hours of driving in traffic for $100. We are also not considered 1099 staff members at most of these agencies, so we can’t write off mileage and we are not often paid for travel time to and from the destination. We are considered on call staff. This gets tricky especially here in LA where you can sit in traffic for 45 minutes just to go 5 miles. 😔 I wish the catering companies and event planners would tell their clients this and be honest about where the money goes. We do not see a dime of the money outside of our hourly rate, which defeats the purpose of being a waitress or bartender to begin with.

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Thank you for mentioning this. We are deciding whether or not to let our bartenders have a tip jar out at our wedding as it is a privately owned company. This might sound tacky, but I'd prefer they have a tip jar out than us pay an 18-20% gratuity. I've never had a problem throwing a dollar a drink into the tip jar when I'm at a wedding or out at a bar. We're only paying 2 bartenders $300 and I'm sure that doesn't all go to them. There is no gratuity listed on the contract.

View Quoted Comment My pleasure Robin! I just bartended at a wedding this past Friday in El Segundo, CA and the event planner paid me gratuity and she allowed us to put out the tip jar also. I wasn’t expecting that at all!!! I’m guessing that she did this because she hired us through a bartending staffing agency who I believe charges $40 an hour but we don’t even see half of that money hourly. I appreciated her gesture and I know that your attendees for your wedding don’t mind providing a tip for the drinks they consume. Oh! Something that happened at the last two weddings I bartended that I thought was really cool...the bride and grooms guests 1) either asked me where my tip jar was and insisted that I put a jar out and 2) the guests started my tip jar for me by grabbing a plastic cup from my bar and shoving cash in the cup. I can’t speak for all guests but certainly 80% of the attendees from this past Fridays wedding happily tipped me either throughout the evening or at the end of the event. Truth is Bartenders at weddings can add life to your party based on their interactions with your friends and family. I’m all about bringing fun and life to the party. 🎉

I see a lot of people saying that no tip jars are better and that their tip is included in “venue gratuity”. If you hire bartenders/caterers outside the venue they do not get that “gratuity”.
I do understand asking for them to not have a tip jar out but you better be prepared to tip the bartenders and servers as well. The “gratuity” in venue costs does not go towards just a tip to servers and bartenders 100% of the time. If you aren’t sure, ask your venue what the “venue gratuity” includes and goes towards before getting mad and assuming the people who are making your wedding day less stressful and perfect don’t deserve any compensation for giving you and your guests a service.
I have bartended and I am married. I know my vendors deserved a tip for their hard work on my wedding day. I wouldn’t go into a restaurant and not tip because “they are already compensated” so I wouldn’t expect my vendors to want to do the best they can if they aren’t compensated the way they should be for doing a service.