About2bMrs.T
Super October 2015

Open Bar...... Adults Olny??

About2bMrs.T, on March 15, 2013 at 10:58 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 18
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I am getting married in Oct and our venue has an open bar and well I already know that as a mother I really dont want my kids around a bunch of family that is intoxicated. Dont mean to sound funny, Just the kinda mom I am they have seen family have drinks with dinner and such but not Drunk. But the other reason is because people dont always keep up with thier children when they are drinking and the last thing that I want or need is the kids getting hurt somehow.. Not something that I want to happen. So how should I address the invites with out making people feel like they are not welcome.. Also as a side not there are some family that thier kids make demons look like angels.

18 Comments

  • Mrs.V-Finally
    Super August 2013
    Mrs.V-Finally ·

    Adult reception only !!! I'm not allowing kids. I don't feel they should be at a wedding, running around till midnight with drinks flowing.

    But everyone is different. ;-)

  • Mrs. S™
    Master October 2011
    Mrs. S™ ·

    So you want to have an adult only wedding, right?

  • Lucky me
    Master June 2013
    Lucky me ·

    Then you have to have an adult reception only. You can't have rules for people or try to tell them how to raise their kids. If that is really an issue then no kids.

  • About2bMrs.T
    Super October 2015
    About2bMrs.T ·

    Thank you Mrs. V.. I am in that same boat with you.. My kids will be at the wedding cause they are joining as a new family but after that I am hiring a sitter to take them to the pool and have fun.

  • krisalicious
    Master April 2012
    krisalicious ·

    We regularly have family functions with free-flowing alcohol, and there are kids running around, and nobody has been frightened, injured or traumatized yet. Just b/c there's an open bar doesn't mean people will go bananas and stick their heads upside down in the whiskey trough. Most grownups keep it together at open bar functions, at least the ones that I know.

    But if you want an adult-only reception, that's your prerogative. Just address the invitations to the people who ARE actually invited, and make it clear you're reserving only 2 seats instead of 5 for them and the little kiddos.

    Example - Smith family of 5, you would address the envelope to:

    Mr. & Mrs. John Smith

    *****NOT****** the "Smith Family"

    And then on your RSVP card, indicate something like,

    "We have reserved 2 seats in your honor" and make sure you write in their names again.

    Here's the RSVP we used so you can see what I mean:


  • About2bMrs.T
    Super October 2015
    About2bMrs.T ·

    Lucky I am not trying to tell people how to raise them.. that is there deal I am say as a mom that is how I am. But as a bride I dont want our night ruined because of kids not being watched. Yes I want adults only I just wondering what way to word this that will tell people with out causing hurt feelings

  • Mrs. S™
    Master October 2011
    Mrs. S™ ·

    Just word it as Kris said, and you can also add "adult reception to follow" to the invites. There's no need to explain yourself, it's fairly common.

  • About2bMrs.T
    Super October 2015
    About2bMrs.T ·

    Krisa, Thank you soo much I will def take that and run with it.

  • Z
    Master May 2012
    Zoe ·

    You have the perfect 'out'-- you can say, "Because we will have an open bar, no minors will be allowed at the reception."

  • Ashleigh
    Devoted July 2013
    Ashleigh ·

    I added at the bottom of my invites "adult only reception to follow" and word of mouth is good too!

    I agree that you don't have to explain yourself bc it is not uncommon for someone to have an adult reception

  • About2bMrs.T
    Super October 2015
    About2bMrs.T ·

    Thank you ladies....

  • Celia Milton
    August 2019
    Celia Milton ·

    I'm all about adults only receptions, except for very casual afternoon things that feel more like family parties than weddings. It's just better for many, many reasons. Do it!

  • MrsC
    VIP January 2014
    MrsC ·

    We have kids at all of our family events. A wedding brings 2 families together, not just the adults in it.

  • Michelle
    Master April 2013
    Michelle ·

    Mine is a Sunday afternoon until. 8 pm so kids are included and were nixing the alcohol, his family doesn't drink and mine gets out of control.

    You could rent a hotel room and have the kids go back there and find a sitter. Order them some pizzas, rent some movies and get some popcorn, they'll have fun and forget they were ever excluded.

    You could even talk to your baker about making them a kitchen cake so they get cake, it just won't be as elaborate as your wedding cake.

  • Private User
    VIP July 2013
    Private User ·

    We're having an open bar with kids...but only kids in our families are invited. Most of them are in the 6-12 range. I wouldn't worry about it.

  • Williams10-11-12
    VIP October 2014
    Williams10-11-12 ·

    You could do everyone dinner and the drinking partying after cause don't you want your kids at you reception ?

  • Kathy
    Master July 2010
    Kathy ·

    I am all for adult-only receptions. I am against the reason being an open bar. Do not tell people that kids are not invited because there will be alcohol served.

    Kris has great wording for you to use.

  • Barbara
    Master September 2014
    Barbara ·

    Your invites should also be addressed to each specific person (eg John and Kim smith, not the smiths) and reply cards could also list each specific person who is invited so that there is no confusion.

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