One Bridesmaid seems too busy or not interested

Show her the photos and let her pick one if she doesn't have time to go and try it on.

It sounds like you're atleast being mindful of her situation with the children, which is great as naturally its going to be more difficult.

I think you should have a gentle chat with her, explain the importance of getting these dresses measured and whilst you understand why its difficult, you cant put it off any more. You could maybe also say that if she feels the demands of being a BM are too much on her with the children, you wont take offence if she steps down and comes as a valued guest.

Long story short, yesterday at the bridal shop, the assistant explained that if we order dresses by the end of this month, the return time will be around late May/early June. Which is perfect timing. So, I decided to send a group message via facebook, hoping to corral all the girls and get a response from my uninterested bridesmaid. Everyone responded except her. And she saw the message (at the bottom, it shows the names of who has seen message).

So, now my question is, what else should I do or try? Should I ask her if she still wants to be in my wedding? When I talk to her or see her in person, she seems excited and interested. Any other time, it seems like she is too busy or she just blows me off. I don't want to come across as a bridezilla. But, we also need to order the dresses. It's kinda cutting it close now. Any suggestions? Thank you

I agree with Elle. She doesn't have to be there to pick the dress. Take a picture send it to her what the information she need to go get fitted.

What Elle said. After that, she can go when she has a chance to try it on and order it. Just makes sure you let her know when the last possible date to order the dress is.

Thank you for the suggestions, I will try sending her pictures and information about getting measured.

With FIVE children I really would not expect her to go shopping for bridesmaid dresses. Just have the others choose the dress and let her know the one that was selected so she can order it herself. Lots of bridal parties go shopping with only some of the BMs - it is very difficult to coordinate schedules of several women. I really don't think you should be jumping to a conclusion that she doesn't want to be in the wedding simply because she has a busy life.

I wouldn't categorize her as disinterested -- distracted maybe, but I doubt she's disinterested. She wouldn't have accepted a position as an honor attendant if she was disinterested.

Being responsible for the endless wants and needs of five children can be overwhelming. It means an unpredictable schedule with little free time. She'd probably enjoy an afternoon out with other women looking for dresses, stopping for lunch and a glass of wine, or just having some time in the car by herself. She may have the best of intentions, but with her responsibilities, it's a fly by the seat of your pants schedule. One kid gets sick, another needs a ride to a basketball game, still another volunteered her services at a school function - it makes me tired just thinking about it.

She may be cutting you off and not responding because she knows it all sounds like a bunch of excuses (and people do get tired of hearing never ending excuses -- even when they're valid). I'd probably email her and tell her that she is welcome to go shopping with the bridal party (choose a date that works for the other four women -- which will be difficult enough to coordinate). Tell her that you'd love her to be there, but if she can't, you completely understand. Then let her know that you'll forward her the dress information.

I would just tell her she needs to order her dress no later then by the end of the month. I'd she orders it wonderful, if not then she made her decision. I went through this and it's seriously not worth the stress of it all!

Go without her! Its very difficult to coordinate multiple adults' schedules. Plus, she has FIVE children lol. She will just have to be happy with whatever you pick. Give her a cut-off date for ordering the dress.

My MOH was the only one who was interested in my wedding. She and I went shopping in our mall department stores picked two dresses and posted the pictures to the two bridesmaids. They all agreed on the same one and ordered it in their size online. There are always going to be ones that hold up the wedding planning process so you can't really slow down on their account. I would never ask a bridesmaid to step down because that might come off harsh. If they wanted to do that then they will let you know before spending more money on your wedding. Good luck!

The rest of you ladies make the decision, send her the dress info and tell her it needs to be ordered by the end of the month. If she orders it great! if not, send her a message saying that since she did not order her dress by the cut-off date you have to move forward without her in the bridal party.