OMG! We OVER invited!!

About 26 of our invited guests were out of town and 28 local (we wanted a small wedding). Only 4 out of town guests declined the RSVP, the rest showed up on wedding day. ALL of the locals RSVP'd yes and 8 of them didn't show up. It's a total crapshoot.

Thanks, you guys. I'm starting to not be so stressed out about it. It is what it is and we made the mess so we just have to lay in it. My mom and I have started calling people to see if they are for sure coming. That will help with the planning.

T, you're right. It's too late to take back word of mouth. But I will say this, if your name is not already physically on the guest list, you're not invited! There's no way I'm opening it back up.

All of my guests were OOT to a degree. 3 hours being minimum drive, a flight being max travel. All 43 showed. We over invited slightly expecting a few declines and got none at all. 3 people didn't come, because they were SO's who unfortunately were no longer SO's by the time of the wedding, but other than that, no declines or no shows!!

Maybe downgrade your food ?? If you're doing a buffet with multiple entrees have less choices. Or for plates , choose simpler items ?? Choose to DIY ceremony /reception extras like programs ,card box and signs instead of buying from overpriced etsy seller ...if you didn't book all your vendors consider cutting video ...there are ways to accommodate more ppl (esp since you won't be over capacity ) the more the merrier ..that's my take anyway !

Right now our guest list is over by 75 people!! FH ISO convinced 75 people will say no that he's it concerned. He doesn't understand that if we have too many extra people there is nowhere for them to sit!!!

Wow, that's a big overage, I hope it works out for you.

Julie, thanks for the advice. From the start my wedding theme has been "simple but elegant" (and practical). So we didn't go overboard with offering multiple meat choices, cake + dessert bar, etc. We're offering a basic meal, cake, beer and wine. No videographer, so there's nothing to cut back

We'll just have to increase the guest count to the caterer, set up more tables and chairs, and buy more beer and wine. :-) It'll be interesting to see what the final number of RSVPs are.

The good thing is that the odds of every one of them attending is low. The bad news is you can't put that in stone. But it's totally understandable how you're feeling. If I were you I'd figure out how to lower some expenses to potentially afford the extra people. Can you pick a lower tier of food or alcohol? Or go from a full bar to a limited bar? Can you back off of flowers/decorations? What about diy's? If none of that, could you or DH pick up a second job waiting tables or something for the very short term? Good luck and fingers crossed you don't have well meaning guests who rsvp yes but don't show.

As long as they fit at the venue, I think you've avoided the worst case scenario.

Don't freak out yet. if a lot of them our out of state, chances are they might decline.

we invited 122 people. and with what we've received back already and what we are predicting now from what we've received back... we're looking at an actual attendance of about half that.

ALL of our guests are traveling from at least 3 hours away. 90% are from out of state (halfway across the country). we've gotten a lot of declines.

Yeah, I know everyone won't attend. I KNOW my family and friends. Some of them will be there and some of them won't no matter how good their intentions. I just don't think we'll get 40 declines. Heck, even 30 at this point would be good!

The problem isn't that we can't afford the extra cost, we just didn't want to spend over the budget we set. The cost is covered, I'd just rather spend that extra $$ on the honeymoon! And I really only wanted 60 people (70 max) at my wedding. Small, intimate and manageable. Again, I don't know how inviting one or two more spiraled so far out of control!

Don't panic. As a general rule about 30% of your total guest list will cancel on you, that's about the average so you should be fine