OMG... I'm so sick of this guests who want to invite other people.... ARE YOU KDDING ME.

Most people don't understand that while you are having a big wedding and formal reception, you can NOT invite everyone. They want themselves to be more comfortable and invite more people for them. That IMO is what I have gotten from reading a lot of posts where guests invite more than was on the invitation. Then if you tell them no, they may or may not show up and if they do..they have a bad attitude at YOUR wedding because you told them no.

I would tell them it is YOUR wedding, you told them who is invited and though you might want someone there tell them that if they feel the need to bring other people you didn't invite then don't show up. They'll be mad. They will play the guilt trip game. You will be upset, but you need to stand your ground or you'll be paying for more people than in your budget.

I've already told them no but the sad thing is that this is family so its not bc they want to feel more comfy its just bc their inconsiderate people. Im def standing my ground.. they can all kiss my ass! lol

I have the same problem Mariel, but I am not as close as you are! Lol I think this will be the one issue that will make me go bridezilla...I hope not though!

As for the guests, I would start telling them (nicely of course) that you and fh only planned x amount of money for x amount of guests. If they cannot understand that, then tell them you are considering their spot open for someone else lol they will probably stop asking!

Good for you. Stand your ground.

I'm going through the same thing mostly on FH's side. His brother's ex-wife's sister wanted to come - and bring her daughter too. I'm glad he said no before I had to.

I am also having problems with that! It is sooo frustrating! Some people think that just because our wedding is going to be @ my sister's home that it is a big picnic! Hellooo it is a WEDDING! If it was a backyard BBQ do you think we would have sent Formal invitations with resp. cards? If so and so's name is not on it, or the person did not get his own invitation, it is not ok to tell me he is coming and bringing a guest!!!!

Sorry for the rant, I usually just read posts on here, but I guess the wedding nerves are starting to get to me! I have to say, I have rread soo many things on here that have helped me. You Ladies are the best!

I am sooo excited for my wedding but I am not looking forward to sending the invites just because of the stories of how rude people are. Dont worry berts girl if that drama of invites happens with my I can see myself going Bridezilla lol good for you for standing up for yourself Mariel, I guess you can take a little comfort in the fact that they are asking and not just showing up with extra people.

We had the same issue. We had 11 invites returned their cards and just added a guest! This is large formal New York wedding ,and those who added a guest are people who know better. And at $150 bucks a person that was an extra $1650 to the budget we did have some no"s so we figured that would off set the price . It was just the principal of the whole thing, some people are just plain STUPID! And you can't fix stupid lol Fortunately we are still in budget and were able to do it we figured it wasn't worth the aggravation too many other things to focus on But satnd your ground how you see fit it's YOUR wedding not theirs

Thanks for listening and sharing, ladies. It INFURIATES me..... i don't know if I spelt that right.

My opinion - and how I told my fiance to think of ..... I made it crystal clear on those RSVPs..... so if a guest asks a question they already know the answer to, then its their fault if they feel a way about it.

We each have huge families and my fiance is not in touch with everyone on his side... some he hasn't seen since he was a child. So we did not invite them and they called his mom wanting to know why. They were not concerned with attending our son's first birthday or baptism. So why are they concerned now? luckily, my mother in law is on our side with that so it makes it easier.

with the guests that are asking to bring people. im sorry, i dont have any sympathy. i think its rude and obnoxious. ohhh and the best was.... my uncle wanted to my invite his ex wifes kids.... bc its one of their bdays and since we are the same age, she might feel bad that im getting married first

are you kidding me??? i saw those girls for about 2 hours ...... over the course of 15+ years. the answer is NO.

also Facebook makes it harder bc ur friends with people you would not be in touch with if it didnt exist. i think thats half the problem.

Cont...

im sorry lol im just so worked up about this.

one more thing.... i dont know what is going to happen if uninvited people show up. all i know is they are going to be hungry bc they are not eating.

I think the only reason anyone would have to ask is if someone has a fiance that didn't get invited (which is rude)..I go by that and long term partner, and also if they are traveling far they should have a travel companion inscase things go wrong..yes people have nooo idea what goes into planning a wedding, if they've never done it before they just simply don't know cost and things..but ya maybe just say oh well there is limited space at the venue..plus wanting to invited kids when it says adults only? sheesh! :-( Good luck!!

Wow this all just seems plain rude to me! Keep standing your ground, and yes I guess if you crash a wedding you are also at risk of being hungry all night, not to mention you might not find a seat.

I skimmed so if I repeat something someone else said...Sorry!!

But I think that you should say Sure! You can invited him/her/them but you need to pay x dollars for their food, chair, program, (yknow the stuff tht ure payin for) and if they go "well him/her/them won't need a program" for example you will say "well regardless that is the fee for extra guests as we are on a budget and we do not know him/her/them very well enough to invite them."

Maybe it will shut em up!

Thanks for all the comments. @ Jayden's mom..... that my son's name too!!!

Also, I don't even want to make that offer of them paying for the person bc its another thing that i have to concern myself with- making sure i get the $.

The money comes back with the RSVP or extra guest doesn't get to come and you'll have a bouncer friend from the bar(s) you frequent do the work! :-p Problem solved! ;-)

This is also my concern! I haven't sent out the invites yet, so I still have time. If I were you, I'd stay strong and tell them no. Granted, I'm a fairly blunt person, but there are nice ways to phrase things (while thinking things a bit more...direct).

@Jayden'sMom: Lol. When I was doing the big big wedding. I was going to have a bouncer too. I might do that when we renew our vows.

This might be a little unprofessional or not formal but on the back of my rsvp cards I'm putting lines for the number of people I'm allowing that party to bring. I'm simply stating for them to state the names of people that will be attending with them. I'm also stating that they cannot bring anymore people that exceed the number of lines provided.

I already sent out my invited... I typed in names for families bigger than 3 and I also wrote blank of blank will attend.. so they had no choice and could not add anyone else in. lol Look kinda like this:

A Favor of Reply is Requested

by May 4th, 2011

Melissa, Eric, Asia and Kalya

[] Yes, __ of 4 will attend

[] No, we are unable to attend

This is unfortunate, and I think all of us will go through this with at least one guest RSVP. I have the same fear, have taken the same precautions by saying on the invites that only X number of seats will be reserved in their honor. Our problem is that we have a max capacity of 200 people and we have absolutely every seat filled. So if we have plus 1's that are not "authorized", they will be standing and will go hungry....sorry it may be mean, but you asked for it in my opinion if you're that rude to just show up. I will be making place setting lables as well, so people just can't sit wherever they like. I have prepaired my FH, my parents and FIL's that we have absolutely no extra room, and if they get anyone asking to bring an extra guest, the answer is a solid NO!