OMG I'm ready to scream!!!

From how you worded it I got kind of confused...Did she know your wedding date before your FH told her? Or did she just randomly pick the same date?

... and will say oh well we already went to Natalie's wedding... we just went out w/the family.. etc. (whatever crap excuse they'll have)... makes me paranoid that they won't show up to our wedding which was set first! Maaan I'm heated... and let me not even start about how her mom said that she would help us with our party favors and stuff like that... guess that's out the window, but whatever I don't need her help anyway. I just can't believe that she would have the audacity to do some crap like that!

Omg...thats horrible!

Jae 21....I know you me be a but shocked right now but think of it from her shoes. Would you change or pick a date dependent on another family members date? Maybe that date or month is special to them and thats why they chose it. I would try not to take it so personal, afterall whether you like her or not she is also a bride and has every right to pick her special day.

Oops..I meant I know you may be....

Yes JJ, she knew our date. Bride to be... considering the type of person she is... yeah she would purposely do something like that, that's why it pisses me off even more.

Jae21 I feel you.... long story kinda short (lol) we got engaged last Christmas and pretty much the day of I set a tentative date, and a month later we booked our venue. FBIL and his fiance have been engaged for 4 years... and haven't seriously looked at anything b/c his fiance seems to think that she should be GIVEN the wedding of her dreams (they haven't saved anything for a wedding). Anyways, I planned right away because FH's parents asked to do things ahead so they could contribute. Well a month or so ago FBIL announces they wanna get married in APRIL.. less than a month before our wedding. They also expected my in-laws to pay for it, even though they were helping with ours. It caused a huge stink and now things are finally blowing over since they moved it... but I am so sorry you are going through this I completely understand!! Message me if you wanna vent!

Well in that case I would definitely be pissed...to say the least..Hopefully she will come to her senses and change her date...Just be strong and calm..It will get to her even more to see it not bother you like she probably wants it to.

That's totally ridiculous of her to do, especially her knowing that out of town guests will probably have to choose what wedding they will be attending which will cut both of your guest attendee lists, I can't believe that I am outraged for you, I feel your pain girl

Jae21...I am sorry and really feel your pain! I know it totally blows like no other! My FSIL is getting married and has bought the dress I wanted. Got the same save the dates except for the color. She has also copied my flowers. My FBIL just started dating her in may I have been planning My FH and I's wedding for twenty months. and all of a sudden in septemeber they decided to get married in MAY. I WAS SO MAD!!!!! I wanted to scream too! I think the best advice I can tell you is to make it about you and your FH. Its about you two and I know it really sucks and is hard to forget about what she is doin but you have to remeber that this day is about you and your FH and about no one else! I am really sorry!

Have you talked to your cousion? Has she apologized or anything?

WHere is her wedding compared to yours? Distance wise?

Be Calm and Strong You can do it! I promise! Celebrate the love you and your FH have!

I'm sorry hun but i know how you feel my hubby's sister did the close to the same thing to me instead of the day before it was a couple of months before and they won't even on the path of marriage until we got engaged. then when we announced our date she made sure her date was before ours. some people are just like that. what you have to do is just smile and igorne her and plan your wedding and don't let her in on any of your plans.

I'm sorry but I don't understand the issue. There are 365 days in a year. As long as she's not getting married on the same day then her wedding does effect yours. Do you feel like because she got engaged after you guys that she should set her date after yours? You say she's intentionally trying to piss you off. Well you're letting her. She wins. If she is indeed trying to sabotage your happiness, Karma is a heffa that she will soon meet and not on good terms. I say don't worry about her. Continue planning your wedding. His aunt may indeed honor her promise to help you with your favors. But if she's not able to b/c she needs to help her daughter with her wedding, I certainly hope you would understand and not begrudge her that. But 2011 is a while away so there's plenty of time to sort these things out. Don't let people steal your joy honey. If they see that they can take it, they will want more and more of it.

Ok, that's just ridiculous.

Were you planning on having a rehearsal/rehearsal dinner the day before the wedding? I think your FI should ring her up and let her know that while you are aware she can choose whatever day she wants, she should bear in mind that this will mean that the two of you and prob. your parents will not be able to attend her wedding due to your rehearsal. He should also contact your aunt and explain the situation rationally. It should come from the groom though and not you since it's his family and you don't want his family making you look like the bad guy or something.

Although there are 365 days a year, I know I would not have had the time to go to someone else's wedding the day before mine. I had to get my nails done that day, plus the rehearsal and the dinner, and sorting out last minute details.

The only good thing about this is that if your FI's cousin lives near you, your OOT family members can knock out both weddings in one trip.

Good luck!

I wouldn't even consider trying to fit her wedding into my schedule. She can be spiteful all she wants to but I would not alter my plans one bit.

I can understand your anger, It's is quite a p*ss off. I would have you FH phone up his aunt and explain that because the wedding is the day before yours, there won't be a lot of people from his family there because they will be busy with your guys' wedding. Perhap the aunt will suggest a different day to the couple. Good luck!

Well she already said she would move her date up but it seems like she just has a problem with the cousin's wedding being before hers. There's really nothing you can do about it and I hope you don't let her get the best of you. You just know that you can't share any of your planning details with her. Just smile and wish her well. If she thinks she's not bothering you she will find something else to focus her attention on.

Oh oops, I missed the part where the cousin agreed to move the date up. If that is the case, then I wouldn't worry about it. A friend of mine was planning her wedding for a year, then her fiance's brothers BOTH got engaged and so there was one wedding 3 months before hers and one wedding 3 months after. The brothers lived all over the country, but everyone made it to all the weddings. Your family and friends who love you will come no matter what.

That is crazy and I'd be really mad to. But then again this isn't a competition. You are planning a marriage and a life together. Who cares if she gets married the day before you or an hour before you? Yes, she probably did it on purpose. But the madder you are the happier she will get. Maybe ask her to change the date so it isn't so close. Or maybe it isn't a bad idea so out of town guests only have to make 1 trip?

Potters is exactly right. She's got jae all worked up and she's probably sitting at home laughing herself into confusion. Even if I were ticked, I'd never let her know it. But I'm just stubborn that way. I hate letting people know they got to me. But people who care about you would never do that to you so try not to waste the energy on it. My sister got engaged last year but they hadn't set a date. When me and FH started seriously discussing marriage, one of the first things I thought of was my sister's wedding. I talked to her about it several times. We even discussed having a double wedding or setting our dates one week apart so our dad who lives out of state wouldn't have to make 2 trips. That's what happens when people care about you. Your FH's cousin clearly has a problem with you & she's making every effort to make your life miserable. I would in turn p*ss her off by not allowing her to know she got under my skin.

It's not just that I'm ticked about her purposely wanting to get married the same weekend or even her making sure she gets married before us, but if she is seriously thinking about having it at the SAME venue... then yeah I'm going to be even more heated and I don't think anyone can blame me for that. yesterday I was PISSED so yeah I ranted and raved and probably confused some of you. Sorry! But yeah I'm calm now... and I'm waiting for her to make her date official, especially to see where she's having it! But I can't say that I'm surprised that she would do this considering their mom wore white to her own sisters wedding so go figure.

Whatever... I'm calm and I'm not going to let her get the best of me... after all... we're doing this on our own without any help from family and overall.... I'm better than that... I'm not going to let her rain on my parade anymore than she already has.

But thanks for the support... I can see I'm not the only one who's gone through this drama.