Kayse
Expert December 2020

omg Crisis.

Kayse, on December 17, 2020 at 3:00 PM Posted in Community Conversations 0 24
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My wedding is Saturday. My mom just informed me that my flower girl (my niece) will not be in the wedding, and that my brother and his family will not be attending due to COVID concerns. Which is fine, but to spring it on me two days before seems a little sus. She then indicated that she and my dad want to leave early, which is, again, fine, but now it's two days out and I have to figure out who is going to cut the cake (which she was supposed to do) and who is going to help me get dressed, etc.

I don't know what to do. I kind of want to call the whole thing off, but I'd be out SO much money. I'm just so confused.

24 Comments

Latest activity by Potenca, on December 19, 2020 at 10:47 AM
  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
    • Flag

    I'm sorry this is happening. They really should've today you sooner because it's not like Covid just happened. Could your mom still get ready with you if it is just the two of you? I'm unsure about the cake cutting. Our servers handled cutting the cake. Do you not have servers that could handle this task?

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  • SHY
    Master January 2022
    SHY ·
    • Flag

    Kayse, I'm sorry that all of this is happening within days of your wedding!

    Most guests won't pay attention to the fact that you won't have a flower girl, although I know you wish she could be there! I'm also sorry to hear that your brother and his family canceled last minute, as well as your parents wanting to leave early.

    As for the cake, is there a caterer that will be there that might be willing to cut the cake for you? For getting dressed, if you won't have a family member there, perhaps it's possible to have your MOH, or a member of the bridal party help out?

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  • Kayse
    Expert December 2020
    Kayse ·
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    I hope she will still get ready with me. Dinner is buffet style, but that's a good idea; I'm sure they would be willing to help with the cake.

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  • Kayse
    Expert December 2020
    Kayse ·
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    You're right, they won't. I'm not having a wedding party at all, officially now. I just wish they would have told me before two days out. I am going to ask the caterer if they can do that; thank you and the other poster for that idea.

    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Rockstar October 2022
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    Anyone can cut the cake though usually your kitchen crew does that. Many weddings do not have a flower girl.
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  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    We had buffet style, but there was still servers there had made sure there was enough food. I'm sure the caterers will have no problem helping with cutting your cake.

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  • Kayse
    Expert December 2020
    Kayse ·
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    View Quoted Comment

    I'm not upset about not having a flower girl, it's just being told that by my mother two days before my wedding that hurts.

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  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
    • Flag
    Oh no, so sorry Love. No one will notice that you don't have a flower girl.
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Rockstar October 2022
    Michelle ·
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    That is valid and understandable. This year has had many sacrifices
    • Reply
  • Kayse
    Expert December 2020
    Kayse ·
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    True. The important thing is that everyone stays healthy.

    • Reply
  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie ·
    • Flag

    I understand this news was upsetting and disappointing, but using the word "crisis" in your post title makes everyone here try to help you problem solve (i.e., the focus on reassuring you you don't need a flower girl). It sounds like cake cutting is solvable. And your mom leaving early shouldn't affect her helping you get ready.

    I totally get needing to vent! But it doesn't sound like any of these disappointments and issues should make you want to cancel your wedding. Best wishes for smooth sailing the rest of the way!

    • Reply
  • Kayse
    Expert December 2020
    Kayse ·
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    Not having my family there actually DOES make me strongly consider cancelling.

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  • Michelle
    Rockstar April 2021
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    Breath girl! Don’t make any rash decisions just to regret it later. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Is there anyone else who can help cut the cake? Why can’t your mom help you get dressed?
    • Reply
  • Barbara
    Dedicated March 2017
    Barbara ·
    • Flag

    I'm sorry these stressors are happening so soon to the day. But, neither of these issues seems like a crisis. Yes, it would have been nice to hear from your flower girl's mom sooner, and yes, you'd probably want to have all your family there. But they're not, so just move on. Frankly, neither are crucial to your enjoying your day.

    • Reply
  • Kayse
    Expert December 2020
    Kayse ·
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    It feels like a crisis that my brother, SIL, niece, and nephew will not be in attendance, and that my parents don't want to be there. Those things will make it more difficult to enjoy my day, but I will move on as I have no choice.

    • Reply
  • Kayse
    Expert December 2020
    Kayse ·
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    I guess I am going to go through with it, but I don't feel good about it. I am going to ask the caterer to cut the cake, and I think my mom is going to help me and stay for the ceremony.

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  • Katelyn
    Savvy May 2017
    Katelyn ·
    • Flag

    This may be difficult to hear, but you choose to move forward with your wedding during a global pandemic. I assume you have various and valid reasons for do so, but you should also expect people to decline. And if you don't want to have a wedding without XYZ person present, then you should cancel or postpone. All the time, people on these forums say "I'm moving forward and I totally understand if people can't come" and then when inevitably those people don't come, the couple is upset, angry, disappointed, etc. Weddings are super-spreader events. With the amount of community spread in the US right now, there is a high probability that someone with Covid will come to the reception, and if someone does, then there is a high probability that more people at the reception will get it. Ideally, people will give more notice. However, the situation has also significantly worsened in the past month and what people were comfortable with 2 months ago, they may not be comfortable with now.

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  • Kayse
    Expert December 2020
    Kayse ·
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    I understand that. I don't understand why my family was not honest with me. They wanted my niece in the wedding and pushed me to make plans. Last Thursday, my mom and I picked up my dress and bought ties for my dad and brother to wear. A week later, she tells me that my brother is not even coming and she wants to leave early. Had they been honest about these things, I could have changed my plans.

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  • Katelyn
    Savvy May 2017
    Katelyn ·
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    It is frustrating and honestly frustrating stuff happens when planning a wedding even pre-Covid. The best thing to do is adapt you plans and enjoy the day with those who are able to celebrate it with you.

    • Reply
  • Kayse
    Expert December 2020
    Kayse ·
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    I am going to try my best!

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