Older Brides

I'm 48 and FH is 50. Second marriages for both. This wedding will be how we want it. We are doing a DW and have invited family and friends. I think we will have about 30 people come. We are doing a beach ceremony and dinner after. Music but not a full blown dance party. No tosses. We are cutting a cake, and are spending our time with the people we love. My parents will not be coming due to my dad having surgery 2 weeks prior. I am planning to walk myself or have my son walk me down the aisle. My first wedding was very small, cheap and was a cake and punch wedding. It was fine but not what we want now. We have planned this one to make it what we want. This one will be for us. If others can make it that is gravy.

I'm an "older" bride. My fh and I will be 41 when we get married this August. Initially I didn't want anyone to host me a bridal shower or bachelorette party nor did I want to do the garter or bouquet toss. I decided I am going to enjoy every aspect of being engaged and experience it all and everyone including me is happy with that decision. I am the oldest daughter of my parents and the first to get married. My family and friends are ecstatic to experience this chapter as is his family. You are only as old as you feel. And we feel and are pretty youthful and lively 😄

Hi! I’m a first time bride at 45 and I totally agree. I have definitely bucked all the major traditions and I’m thrilled about it! I feel no pressure to do what’s “expected” of me and as a result I’m stress free and our celebration will be uniquely us. I feel like I have the wisdom of some age and I know what’s important to me and to my fiancé. It’s hard to look in the mirror and see the reflection changing, but that’s life. All those lines and wrinkles are experiences, character, persistence and all the ups and downs that made me the powerful woman I am today. So I work to embrace them! Enjoy finding your love and building your life together. You’re lucky to have it and it’s pretty fantastic at any age. Best of luck and happiness in your union! Xoxo

At 54, I think I'm the oldest to respond so far! :/
I get insecurities sometimes- like I wish my arms weren't so flappy, and maybe a visit to the botox fairy wouldn't hurt, but the flip side is I am so much more confident than I was in my 20's or 30's. I'm less of a people pleaser but also find it easier to roll with the punches and not sweat the small stuff.
We've been together 25 years, and our ceremony is going to be an outdoor handfasting followed by a pretty traditional cocktail hour and dinner + dancing. We will take photos first - no issues with not seeing each other before, and we'll probably walk down the aisle hand in hand. No garter toss, no bouquet or bridal party.

One thing that's been really touching is how happy my family is - my dad especially was excited that we are finally making it "official" and that was so sweet.

I'll be 39 by the time i get married (for the second time). FH is 40 and his first time. The advantage to our ages is that we're planning what WE want without the input of either families.

The ceremony will be fairly traditional, FH and I will be walking down the aisle together. There will be cocktail time and then a dinner. We aren't having a DJ or dancing, no tossing of bouquets or garters. Just a very nice meal with our closest family and friends with cake being served for dessert after we cut it.

I'll still be wearing an ivory dress, tea length. As far as my attire goes and most of the decisions made so far focus on what makes US happy instead of what's expected of us, so there will be more personal touches.

Enjoy all the planning that comes before the start of your next chapter with your FH!

Holy cow, you guys are making me feel absolutely ancient at 58! My FH is also no spring chicken at 49 (insert cougar jokes here, it's OK ). Although this is the second marriage for both of us, he really wanted me to have the dream wedding I didn't get the first time around. So I launched into planning, feeling like a 22-year-old again. Extended families and close friends invited, fairytale dress, First Looks, long processions with majestic music, Pinterest-worthy table decor, dinner, all the dances (well with each other and his folks at least, mine are both gone) with special songs, amazing cake, big send-off, the works. Then at some point, it just started to seem kind of silly. I don't know. It just felt needlessly overwhelming, and no one really seemed very into it. Neither of our families seemed to care at all. It was more like "Well, it's about time", since we've been together for a while. And I'm sure there was much talk behind our backs about making such a big deal about a second wedding.

So after already securing the venue, caterer, music, photographer, florist, officiant, cake, and dress we ditched it all and are taking our kids (my 35-year-old daughter and his two teenagers) to Key West for what I'm calling a "family elopement". My sisters (one of whom is my officiant; the other is "giving me away") and their spouses will be joining us and after a sunset ceremony on the beach, we're all going out to dinner at a nice restaurant where we'll cut a key lime pie instead of wedding cake. Although it's not what I'd originally thought of as the "wedding of my dreams", it's still going to be a dreamy wedding, and maybe some dreams are best left as such when reality wakes you up.

As I appear to be the eldest of the WW elders here, I really appreciate sharing this journey with others who may not look exactly like a Maggie Sottero model in their gowns. However, it is also so wonderful to see that age has absolutely no impact on how beautiful a bride is. Just look at how we all are truly glowing. Best wishes and congrats to us all!!

I hear you! I will be 34 and FH will be 45 at our wedding, first time for both of us. We are not doing the bouquet or garter toss, too few singles at our ages. My bridal party is 3, and for bachelorette party, we are doing a spa day. I'm way too old to go drinking at the bar. Being a little older gives you a better idea of who you and what you like. Easier not to be forced into doing things/wearing things you don't like.

Oh, I love your post as I often wonder if I'm the oldest person on this site! My story is so similar to yours (except i am in my mid 40s). I decided early on that regardless of my and FH's age, I'd plan exactly what I wanted. That being said, I am probably doing a few things a bit differently (no wedding party as it seemed easier for all our friends to just attend the event as regular guests, my dress is a darker ivory, we're skipping the garter/bouquet toss). I do something get a bit wistful that I didn't go through this process earlier in my life however after reading so many questions/comments on WW, I also think with age (and years of career focus) comes a few advantages.... Such as less parental involvement (parents don't expect to influence an older bride's wedding), less budget constraints, the typically difficult conversations are easier for me to have now (guest list, plus 1, kids, etc) and I feel I am way more decisive at this point in my life. Anyway, best of luck to you! You're only as old as you feel!

I feel like an older bride myself since my FH and I already have a 3 year old child together. We are skipping a lot. No garter toss definitely. I tried to get rid of the bouquet toss, but my bridesmaids wanted one. No bridal shower most likely, simple bachelorette, ceremony and reception in the same place, 100 guests at most, probably no toasts, no dances besides a short first dance with FH.... trying to keep it simple. Definitely not how I would have had my wedding if I’d been getting married ten years ago. We have a mid sized bridal party, and I am still playing with the idea of having everyone save the Maid of Honor and Best Man sit in the front row.

Well except for Cee Cee I am almost the second oldest around these days, I am 53. Ladies in your late 30' and 40's: YOU ARE YOUNG! And so am I! I feel so lucky: youngest child launched, and I get to be a new bride with all that mushy stuff yet a bit of wisdom. It is true we get to have a bit more leeway in planning as parents are not so quick to offer opinions (Hey my FMIL is so thrilled her son is finally getting hitched at 53 she would agree to anything, lol) My point? Enjoy the planning, have the best day the two of you want and do as many bells and whistles as you can afford!

View Quoted Comment This is my thought exactly! That it’s a party where we just happen to be getting married at.

Im 37, he’s 43. We are having cocktail start before the ceremony, then cocktail hour resuming afterwards, then dinner and party. We’re skipping the bouquet and garter toss, skipping the first dance, skipping the send off. There’ll be lots of food, drinks, and music.

I'll be 36 and FH will be 41. 1st time for me, 2nd for him. I didn't start my journey into adulthood on the traditional path, so not going to start now. My dad will be walking me down the aisle, because I don't know where I'd be without him. But he's not giving me away. We're not planning on tossing anything. Our 4 children and one friend apiece will be our bridal party. Our guests will be close family and a handful of friends. I'm even not inviting one of my sisters because she's toxic and I'm too old for that crap. I'll be wearing white, but because I found a dress I couldn't pass up for the price. There will be dances, but not sure of the details because FH lost his mother when he was 19. Probably just a first dance. We will have a live band for part of the reception because they are part of our love story. And I think we're doing pie instead of cake. And we're not doing a send-off either.

We’re both late 30s here! First marriage for both of us. I guess I don’t find it weird because my two best friends aren’t married (in long term relationships but divorced from when they were a lot younger) and I’ve got friends close to my age still getting married. I’m getting courthouse married but not because of age.

UPDATE

I saw a movie at 7:15 last night LOL.

View Quoted Comment But did you stay awake thru the end? Lol. That's always my problem!

Rebecca! You still deserve a beautiful wedding...whatever that means to you. I was a 1st time bride at mid 40s (DH is mid 50s, 2nd time marriage). Thanks to being older, we saved for 15 months so we wouldn't go into wedding debt, had smaller DW wedding/local reception with fewer people who are dear to us, and planned events WE wanted. Best yet, my wedding was better than I could have dreamed when I was younger because he's my creative match and BFF.

I did have anxiety over my age/photos. Thanks to Keto diet & trainer, I lost 15 pounds before wedding and did a little Botox & eye fillers (that helped but felt so yucky!). Got extensions to feel princessy. I went from dark brown/blue hair to light brown/blonde which I realized also helps hide the gray and face wrinkles--YAY. I'm ok getting older, but not looking it in my photos! lol.

I love this post! Not sure how I missed it! I will be 44 and FH will be 43 when we get married, My second his first - another confirmed bachelor for life, that is until me . I am so much more happy to be planning my wedding this time then I was at 24 when I got married the first time. We are def skipping some of the traditional things (bouquet, garter, cake cutting & smashing). Our wedding has turned into a celebration rather than a party, if that makes any sense. We are celebrating us, our friends, and our families. We really are making everything so personal for everyone, so many fun details & so much thought went into each thing. I am in such a different state of mind now, then I was 20 years ago and it's making me even more excited to marry this amazing man!

Just have to share...when I was 40, I watched the movie "Bachelorette." It's dark and crude but I loved it because everybody has issues. Single, drinking wine alone, I totally identified with Regan when she complained about her friend getting married... "Why is NOTHING happening to ME???!!!!"

...about a year later I met "the one." lol. When it's time, it's time.

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I have never seen this movie or heard of it? I will def have to look it up! I was single for 10 years like single single no dating no nothing, so I can totally relate. I spent those years raising an amazing boy who is now turning into a man, hopefully I have raised him to be the one for someone else.

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It's not for everyone (my fav wedding movies are Wedding Crashers & The Proposal). But I actually liked Bachelorette better than Bridesmaids! Maybe just me.

No dating for 10 years? Ugh, I feel your frustration. Well, you were busy with a man...a very young one! lol. Thanks for raising your son into a fine man, his future spouse will love you for everything you did.

Have fun planning and enjoying your wedding in Sept!! I was so happy I was still giddy about it. I thought being older I may be jaded or too practical but we were like a couple of kids planning our fun celebrations! One year later, we still glow about our wedding and being married. Awwwww. Love this new chapter.