Old friend requesting to be a bridesmaid

Plain and simple emotional blackmail. Steer clear, sweet pea...

Agree with Sass, stop texting her for today

I don't think I want her a part of the wedding. Just as a guest.

Btw, thank you all for your advice.

Yi think your response was very well thought out and positive. You've got plenty of time to start that relationship rolling again. As it gets closer to the wedding you can decide on if you want her to do a reading or not. I'd play it by ear and not promise anything yet.

She sounds a little manipulative. I agree that you shouldn't tell her the BM dress color.

I think that your responses are well put and you just have to keep standing your ground with her. Be honest that it is a kid free wedding and you'd love to meet her son a different time. I also agree with PPs to not give her the dress color or she may just try to throw herself in somehow

Yeah I hate that she asked that. "You weren't there for me enough so make me a bridesmaid." Just say youve already asked your bridal party but you hope she will still attend (if you're inviting her.)

You could ask her to do a reading during your ceremony so she is still involved

I totally agree with Sass, don't tell her the dress color and do tell her it's a kid free wedding and you can meet her son another time. Also I agree to maybe stop texting her today.

Sorry you're going through this Breezy...

That's so heartbreaking to read from her point of view. To have to justify it with her sobriety date. It sounds like things have been REALLY bad at some points.

I would definitely use something as non hurtful as possible like the dresses already being ordered and it's too late.

From your point of view that's really too bad she went about asking that way. I wouldn't know what to do either.

I'm sorry!

Ugh Breezy, she's trying to guilt you. I agree with everyone else, don't text her back except maybe to let her know about no kids. You'll have to establish and maintain boundaries. Be really consistent. It might help you to do some research on addiction and recovery so you know what you're dealing with.

Sasswood is completely spot on. This is emotional blackmail and she's still doing it. Also, keep in mind that if she is a guest, throws a fit and blames you for it... it would still not be your responsibility to keep her from going back to her old ways. I can see that happening. I can see her blaming you. "You didn't let me do whatever I wanted so it's your fault that I'm back on drugs!"

Don't do that to yourself.

I would stop texting her for now. I would mention to her next time you guys speak that your wedding will be kid free.

On another similar post, I think it was about a dry wedding because of an alcoholic parent, someone mentioned having their sponsor be invited as well (and not having a dry wedding.) sorry my first response was before I read the added conversations

I just wanted to say, OP, you seem very sweet and thoughtful and I'm sorry you're in this position. It is very stressful, but you answered her in the best way possible.

Gosh that sounds exactly like my friend. She ruined our friendship many times with drug abuse and stealing. She swears she's different now but who knows. We're not having a wedding party so I got off easy with that but even if I were - I probably still wouldn't have her in it. I'd just tell her it's too late and everything's planned already.