Old Facebook album

The pictures were allowed or given by you. They are now hers to share. Why do you care what his mother does? MYOB , or boundaries, are necessary to make in-law or parent-child situations work over time. You have no more right to approve anything that MIL posts, writes sends or delivers to other people, than she would have to gag you, and delete your communications to other people. It is a 2 way street. Would you accept your mil going through your messages, email, or social media, and telling you, I don't like this, take it down. I do not like this. Take it down. .... I doubt you would. So why do you feel you have any control over her? Or his ex? The marriage happened. It existed for a period of time. And a divorce does not mean two people's lives together vapororize, poof, gone. Stop looking at MIL, or other people's things, if you don't like what you see there. She does not appear to be personally delivering anything to you., And holding it in front of your face. Accept that you have no right to control her behavior. You do you. Ignore those who say or do things you don't like, when they are not actively hurting you. The entire time your groom was married happened, and you cannot/should not try to erase it, from other people's lives. Neither should his ex. Neither should her son. Nor you.

View Quoted Comment Please read the replies above.

Okay, fair. I went back and read read all your replies. And everyone else's. But no where do I find any justification for you having any reason to be in control of your FMIL Facebook pages. Or anything she posts. Anywhere. Or sends anyone. You don't like it. Ex does not like it. Well, there may be a lot of things you do or have done that FMIL does not like. And more certainly will appear planning the wedding. But whatever her personal opinion is, there is no reason you, or Ex, should change anything you do to please her, if you really don't want to. And she has no reason to change what she does, because you or Ex don't like it. In the law, it is called " standing". You have no position that gives you the right to control what she does. So you can give 30 reasons or 1, why you or Ex or someone believes she should change. But in this world, you have no right to control FMIL behavior. You spoke your piece, ex did. And whatever value FMIL sees in these pictures as her memories, she intends to keep. You started by asking, are you overthinking this? My answer would be yes. Not because no one understands that you or Ex might want to blot out all past marital pictures. But because you can spin your wheels thinking if good reasons. But bottom line is, you have no right to control what FMIL does. And it is likely stressful to keep thinking about it. So do not look at her pages, or posts where she puts pictures. You see one, say, ancient history now, baby, and flip on by because it does not matter. And you have no right to stop it. So find something you can do something about, that makes life nicer. It is okay for you to completely dislike your FMIL. It is okay for her to her not to like you. But for a peaceful relationship, stop fighting about it. You are playing tug of war with your guy's feelings. And whoever wins a tug of war has hurt the one in the middle as much as the loser. And your goal is not to hurt your FI. At some point your FI did care for his ex. And they had some good experiences. And though he does not care now, your acting like his important few good memories should be destroyed, hurts him inside. Yes he loves you now. Yes he wants to please you. But inside, there is likely some strong feeling, his past is his, not yours to teardown or deny. And your pushing this matter, which cannot possibly succeed because you have no right to control his mother ( and neither does he), hurts him, tugged between you, mom, and anyone else giving opinions. So stop. Relieve FI of the distress. And yourself. Make sure to give your FMIL nice pictures . But for now, no more overthinking the subject.

If your FH has moved on, she should too- out of respect for her son! This is terrible, she does not sound like a reasonable lady. She can keep it but at least make it private..... Life is about compromise, not about your FMIL. I am rolling my eyes so hard right now. This makes me so mad.

It's a bit uncomfortable so I totally understand where you're coming from and why it bothers you... but isn't it possible she just either (1) hasn't thought to delete it (2) hasn't wanted to go through the effort of deleting it (or maybe isn't great at tech and doesn't know how? lol) or (3) wants to keep it up because there's probably a lot of their family photos in there?

I still have photos of my high school boyfriend in the depths of my facebook. I just never bother to delete things honestly, it's just too much effort lol and also it's part of my past so I don't feel the need to "erase" it and pretend it never happened. Idk.

Again I totally understand why it bugs you, but I'm just trying to give her the benefit of the doubt in that it may not be deliberately spiteful. It would only really bother me if she didn't also post pictures from your wedding when the time comes.