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Samantha
Devoted July 2020

Officiant problems...

Samantha, on February 7, 2020 at 5:13 PM Posted in Wedding Ceremony 0 3

So, my fiance is a machinist and works in a shop, well about two years ago he recommended that his company hire this guy who he used to work with at another shop. This guy has been in the field for a long time, so my fiance was recommending him for a supervisor position....and he ended up getting it. Anyway, before we even got engaged, I guess he told my fiance that he'd be willing to officiate our wedding since he has done several in the past. My fiance asked him to officiate for us shortly after we were engaged. The problem is that now he's being a HUGE jerk to my fiance and treats him really badly at work. My fiance is upset because he got him hired and now it seems like he's always singling him out. Now, part of this is my fiance's problem/fault, but a year ago my fiance was on his phone at work and he wrote him up/sent him home for it even though my fiance swears that everyone around him are on their phones, too. This happened again today! My fiance is super upset and on his way home, stopped at another shop and met with the owner, who seems to be interested in hiring him ($4 more an hour!). I guess my question is....should we tell him that we no longer want him to officiate? Or should we wait until my fiance officially gets another job (if he does)? I don't want his supervisor to single him out more if we seem petty by telling him we don't want him to officiate anymore. Also, our venue includes an officiate in our package (we didn't know this until later), so I thought that we could use that as an excuse. [Btw, my fiance knows that he messed up by being on his phone...it is the policy, his excuse is that no one follows it, but he feels like he's the only one being reprimanded because of it. But, overall, it's just becoming uncomfortable having his sup as our officiate).

3 Comments

Latest activity by Mike, on May 16, 2020 at 12:15 PM
  • Samantha
    VIP October 2020
    Samantha ·
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    I would be worried about firing the officiant only to aggravate the work situation, but if you’re no longer comfortable with the officiant then it’s absolutely fair to replace them. Where’s your fiancé at? Does he want a replacement? That’s something I would just defer to my fiancé and tell him it’s his decision since it’s his relationship that’s at risk.
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  • K
    Savvy August 2021
    Kayla ·
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    I would wait until your fiance is at the other job before dismissing the officiant. You are right, I think he would be singled out more if he dismisses him now. I get where you are coming from and I would want to get rid of him too.
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  • Clíodhna
    WeddingWire Administrator January 2030
    Clíodhna ·
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    Hey Samantha. I’m sorry to hear about this situation. Working in a hostile work environment is never fun. I’m happy your FH has you to lean on.

    Personally, I would wait until your FH has moved roles and explain that you will be using the officiant that comes with the wedding package. Would you still consider inviting him as a guest to mitigate any hard feelings?

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