October Wedding not yet postponed

Our wedding is 10/16 in the Hudson Valley, NY and honestly, I'm freaking out. We were already planning a small wedding about 50 people. But all the important people are from out of state. My family (mom, brother, sister and her kids, and gma) are all in California. Everyone, but my mom so far, has decided that they don't feel comfortable coming out here now. I have also have friends I haven't seen in ages from California. At first I wasn't too worried about it because I understand, but my FH is not okay with it. Family being there is extremely important to him. His family was already not coming (they aren't on speaking terms). He said my family being there made up for it. But now that they aren't going to be there, he feels like he isn't going to actually enjoy the day.
Now I'm freaking out because although things are getting better in NY right now, they're getting worse elsewhere and it's possible in October things could be bad again. I briefly talked to our venue and he said they already have two weddings in two weeks (July 10). But he has no idea what safety precautions they need to take.
We've talked about a handful of different plans, but they don't feel right to me. We still plan on getting married 10/16 even if it's just at the court house because that's the date we want. But we want to be able to celebrate with everyone. If October turns out to be bad and the venue cancels, we talked about having a get together in Cali when things are better. However, if the day is still available to have the reception, do we go ahead and have it without family and possibly not enjoy it or move it to next year when people will feel more comfortable? But then that doesn't feel right to me. Having your reception a year later... it wouldn't feel like a wedding reception. No first dance. No, "now introducing Mr. And Mrs.!" And in all that, what do I do about sending out invitations? I already have them. Do I go ahead and send them out (I was orginally planning on doing it this Friday)? If things get bad then just tell them "Nevermind"? What about the few out of state people that do want to come? They get a ticket but then things get cancelled.I'm literally freaking out. I can't sleep. Being furloughed and stressing out about this has not helped me in the weight department which isn't good for the little bit I was wanting to lose. Being an overthinker doesn't help either.I need help and some serious guidance.

I'm getting married on 10/17 and the venue thinks we should be fine. However, we some of our closest families -mostly FH family will not travel due to COVID. We really want all the important people at our wedding so we thinking of postponing and will make that decision by end of July if the COVID numbers don't decrease or at least continues to flatten. Plan B is to postpone for next October so by then COVID will be like the flu and people won't be so terrified of it. We will elope to have a private ceremony and reception next year.

View Quoted Comment I also heard about that private event situation. how do u get classified as private event

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We are also a NJ wedding and are now thinking we may just postpone our wedding until TBD because even if we can get married it would be with all of those stipulations and honestly I don't want to spend all of that money to have a day that is not what we had in mind (masks, no dancing). I think we are still waiting to see the official guide from the governor but making a call very soon. If you hear anything from your venue please let us know.

Hey! I'm sure you've heard by now, but CT/NY/NJ is restricting travel from people in certain states, including FL I don't think that will be the case in October but with Lamont, you never know. I hope everything works out for you! 10/10 is our date as well, not sure if we're going to move it though.

View Quoted Comment That was my thought as well. I am also under the understanding of 50 people maximum in New York State, even in phase 4. If there is a loophole I would love to know about it!

We are 10/10 in NJ and keeping the date. Our venue is having their first wedding for 80 guests this weekend and did a lot of renovations to have the wedding 100% outside, including the dance floor. By July the venue will be allowed to have at least 50 people indoors and with our numbers being so low that number should increase. Our original list was 125 so if we even have 80 people that is fine with us. I am over wedding planning and not willing to move the date at this point.

I looked into it there is no loophole. i think some venues are just promising people something thats either illegal or an empty promise to get more money. whatever ny state says goes. the virus doesnt know the difference between private and public events

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I definitely will. Are you in South Jersey? If you hear anything please let me know too!

View Quoted Comment Are you in CT?

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Which hotel were/ are you getting married at?

So I am to get married in CA on 10/17 with 120 people in attendance. All over our guests have to travel to the venue (min. 2 hrs.). We just got word of new guidelines from our venue per COVID safety and we are heavily considering postponing the wedding. My fiancé and I are really frustrated that our fear is becoming reality.

We don't want people to be wearing masks unless they, personally, want to or have to for some reason or another (through the venue strongly requests they do) and we will no longer have an indoor option for reception if we go through with it, so there goes the air conditioning during an Indian summer season. Also they will have all persons have to be socially distant in seating for the ceremony and reception, AND the guest count has to drop from 120 to less than 100. How do you say to people you can come but you can't come? Anyways, we won't make our official call until the end of July, but we are leaning more towards tiny/ intimate wedding in Vegas, where we live, and a celebration sometime next year at the original venue.

Hey Lauren!

Where in CA are you getting married at? I'm also getting married in CA!

I'm a 10/25/2020 bride in NY and we aren't postponing. I check in with my venue monthly and they seem confident everything will be fine. I'm originally from CT, and my family is still there, they all seem fairly confident that things are going great there- so I don't think you have much to worry about.

My only concern would be the folks you have coming in from FL. NY is mandating a 14 day quarantine for people coming in from FL- check to see if CT is doing the same, since I know our Gov's have been working pretty closely during all of this craziness.

Sending positive vibes your way that your wedding goes off without any issues and is just as beautiful and magically as you imagine

We are also getting married on 10/10/20 with no plans to reschedule. It's a small outdoor wedding with about 35 guests. We understand if some of our guests cannot or are uncomfortable travelling but we'll still proceed as planned.

View Quoted Comment My governor has the same order in place currently. My sister and brother-in-law live in FL and they are both in our wedding party. 😪

We were originally getting married on 10/10/20 with 250 on the guest list in Western Massachusetts. We've postponed to next October because:

- We decided early on in planning that our priorities were: 1. Having (all) our people there 2. guest experience/comfort 3. Music/Dancing. Using those priorities, it was easier to set some concrete rules for when we'd make the call to postpone ("if x happens, we'll postpone")

- Very little will change for us when we get married and kids are not on the horizon, so we don't mind waiting.

We have a big guest list for a big family and weren't willing to cut the list any more than we already had, and even if we had been allowed to gather 250 people, we felt that having that large of a wedding this year would infringe on our guests' experience and comfort, and we almost definitely wouldn't have been able to pack in on a dance floor!

Everyone has their own situations and has to make their own decisions, but I hope this helps someone out there! Having those three priorities (whatever they are for you) and using them to make some "rules" around postponing helped a ton.

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We postponed our September wedding to May 2021 for all the same reasons you've listed here, although we've decided to get legally married this year but still do the ceremony in May as well. We just felt like we wouldn't get the wedding we envisioned this year and we've dumped SO much money into this that it wouldn't even be worth if a. not everyone will be able to come and b. no one could actually dance and have a good time.

My fiance and I are getting married on 10-10-2020 too! We are not postponing regardless of what is going on. We have been together for 7 years so we feel it's the right time since you never know what tomorrow will bring. We do have plans A, B, C, and D, all depending on what the restrictions are and how many COVID cases are in our area. My fiance, bridesmaids and groomsmen will all be wearing face masks. We also encourage our guests to wear them. Currently, the county where our wedding will take place has a mask mandate for indoor public spaces where people are unable to keep a 6 foot distance.

We were 10/3/20 on Long Island and we just made the decision to postpone to 3/6/21. Our numbers are trending down but our venue said by September they MIGHT be able to have more than 50 people, but still no dancing, no walking around with a drink in hand, everyone has to wear a mask except when sitting at a table and same goes for cocktail hour, who really wants to stay seated during cocktail hour, and no cake cutting. So we didn’t want to take any chances and literally cut our guest list in half two weeks before the wedding.