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Savvy October 2020

October bride freaking out about Covid-19

Shannon, on March 26, 2020 at 8:24 PM Posted in Community Conversations 0 16
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I wasn't so worried about how COVID-19 might affect our October wedding until I started hearing/seeing more information about it. It's been a process trying decipher fact from fiction. In regards to strict regulations, I've heard anything from getting people to try to function "normally" in a few weeks to not being able to function normally until next year! I've also been told that some summer brides have already rescheduled their wedding to later in the year.

We need to order our save the dates/invites, but I'm so worried that if we continue as normal, something will happen. On the flip side, though, if we continue to wait out a little longer to see what is happening, then we might cut ourselves short on time.

I have contacted the person in charge of the wedding venue and she told me that per the lasted weekly update from our governor, she is not having to cancel/reschedule any events prior to April 23rd.

I wish that has put me at ease, but I'm still freaked out.

I also feel ridiculous for feeling this way because, in mind, it doesn't really compare to what has happened (and still is happening) to the late winter/spring brides.

My fiance seems to be acting so nonchalant about this. I tried talking to my sister about it, but the best advice she could give was to have back up plans. How in the world do I even come up with back up plans if A) we're dealing with the unknown and B) I can't seem to get much helpful input?

I guess I just needed a place to vent my feelings.

16 Comments

Latest activity by Natalie, on March 30, 2020 at 10:37 PM
  • T
    Super April 2021
    Tiger Bride Online ·
    • Flag
    Hi! I'm an October bride as well. Not going to lie, I've been a little worried the past couple weeks, but as things progress I'm starting to feel a bit better. Without turning this into yet another speculation about numbers, the reality is that we as a people aren't going to be able to do this forever. At some point sooner rather than later we are going to return to a "normal" life because the economy and our entire society is going to collapse if we don't (more than it already has, if you can believe that). It's been hard to see or believe that because we're in the middle of everything right now, but there is an end, even if we don't know exactly when that will be. And no - I can't say for sure that our weddings will happen when they're supposed to. But lately I have started to feel better about the prospects.


    In the meantime, FH and I did a few things that helped us out: first, we talked through what we would want to do if the original date wouldn't work (move the whole thing, elope, etc. - we both want to move the whole thing). Second, we looked at our budget and figured out how much money we could potentially lose, assuming no vendor would work with us and/or they all went out of business (unlikely, but it gave us an upper bound), and whether we were willing to lose that much to "redo". And lastly, we picked a date to reevaluate and make a decision based on how things were then, which was early July. The reality is that nothing is going to change day to day that gives us enough information to make a decision any time soon and for me at least, hitting refresh a million times was only making me feel worse. We're not going to know enough for October weddings for a couple of months, so all we can do is table it.
    I hope everything works out for both of us!!
    • Reply
  • R
    Devoted December 2020
    Rachel ·
    • Flag
    So sorry! I started to have these thoughts the other night (December bride here) and I believe this virus will change our “new normal” once restrictions are lifted. I don’t think it’s realistic for the government to ask us to put all of our lives on hold for a year until a vaccine is made; it would completely cripple our country/economy. I think more than anything it will restrict international travel for the next year or so (but I hope not).
    • Reply
  • Kelsey
    Beginner October 2020
    Kelsey ·
    • Flag
    My wedding is also in October. I was having panic attacks about it earlier in the week, but I've started to calm down now. I honestly believe they cannot keep our country on lockdown until October. Like others have said, it will completely ruin our economy. I'm hopeful that once warm weather gets here things will start to die down with the virus. But, my fiance and I have a backup plan. We will get married on the original date, just a small thing in my parents backyard, and then once we're able to we will have our big ceremony. I never liked the idea of basically eloping and then having another wedding, but I feel like in this situation its okay.
    • Reply
  • Brianna
    Dedicated October 2020
    Brianna ·
    • Flag

    Hi! Also an October Bride! I'm really not that worried about it because things have to be back to somewhat normal by that point. But just in case, my fiance and I came up with a plan B. We decided that no matter what, we will get married on our original date, even if its just us, the pastor and the photographer (our parents would be really mad though lol). And if we can't have it at our venue, both of our parents own beautiful land and we could just have it there. At the end of the day, I will still be married to my best friend and that's all that matters right?

    • Reply
  • L
    Super October 2020
    Leslie ·
    • Flag

    As a former May bride, and a future wife of a nurse, it will slow down. Right now, they are just trying to slow the rise of illness where it overfills the hospitals and overworks hospital staff. We will go back to a more normal life. I’m planning to wed in September or October.

    • Reply
  • S
    Savvy October 2020
    Shannon ·
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    View Quoted Comment

    I'm really glad I chose to vent here. Reading what you and the ladies who posted after you had to say has really helped me try to figure out how to rein in my feelings some. You've definitely helped me figure out how we might be able to start making backup plans.

    • Reply
  • S
    Savvy October 2020
    Shannon ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Honestly, I think you're right. I don't want to see this virus spike if people start gathering in large groups again, but at the same time it just doesn't seem very logical to keep everyone on hold. I know the restrictions are already hurting people so I would hate to see what state they would be in if these restrictions are still going strong a year from now.

    • Reply
  • S
    Savvy October 2020
    Shannon ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    I understand what you mean about eloping. I've always felt that if it's what a couple wants, then great. It's just not something I particular want for myself. However, if it came down to getting married by a Justice of the Peace on the date chosen and then having a fun ceremony later versus putting off everything until an unknown date, I would gladly choose the first option.

    • Reply
  • S
    Savvy October 2020
    Shannon ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    You're certainly right. Even though the unknown factors are making me nervous, I'll still have my best friend. We already feel married. At this point, it's really a formality.

    • Reply
  • S
    Savvy October 2020
    Shannon ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    That really makes sense. I appreciate your input. I hope you and future spouse stay safe. Good luck with your planning.

    • Reply
  • Diz
    Dedicated October 2020
    Diz ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Do.you think the problem will flare back up in November ? I am trying to reschedule my wedding from May 16 to November. I keep hearing about it flaring back up around then. Prayers to your future spouse.
    • Reply
  • S
    Savvy October 2020
    Shannon ·
    • Flag

    I'm grateful for the advice and logical musings thrown my way. I think hearing from people who are in the same boat really helped.

    If anyone is curious, my fiance and I were able to come up with three plans based on the event size restrictions that we've seen so far.

    Without going as deeply in depth as he and I did together:
    Plan A: wedding continues as planned
    Plan B: only family and original party members are to be invited; find a way to film/live stream ceremony; have second reception at later date for the friends cut from original invite list
    Plan C: get married by Justice of the Peace on original chosen date; have wedding at later date

    We'll focus on plans A and B right now; C is really only there in the event things are still tightly restricted. My hope is that having three plans is overkill, but then again we won't really know until later plus it helps me relax a little more knowing it's there just in case.

    • Reply
  • Natalie
    Devoted July 2021
    Natalie ·
    • Flag

    I think its naive to assume anything at this point. I understand we must keep hope, but we must also be realistic and prepare for the worst case scenario (postponement.) I am right here with you, except I am having to sort this out sooner.

    Our wedding is planned for June 13, 2020 and while that seems far enough out to not have to postpone - with all the uncertainty and information rapidly changing on a daily basis, I can't help but be overwhelmed with stress and anxiety. I've already had to cancel by bridal shower and am sure my bach is out of the question at this point too.

    Here in CA, we have a "Shelter in Place" ordinance in effect through April 19th with the possibility of that extending to May if our situation here does not improve. Our venue has had to cancel and postpone weddings that were planned through April. My heart ACHES for those couples.

    We are hoping late April will offer more clarity for the future of 2020, however, what everyone needs to understand (myself included) is that even if things "calm down" soon, it doesn't mean people will be out of danger while in close proximity to one another. We never expected to have to make such a heartbreaking decision, however, it is not nearly as heartbreaking as the idea of putting our loved ones at risk.

    take some time to decide what is best for you, but understand that there are many other couples debating the same and dates will become less and less available.

    • Reply
  • Cdenisephoto
    Just Said Yes October 2021
    Cdenisephoto ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    This is fabulous advice 🙌🏻🙏🏻 LOVE all the supporting going around here ✨🤍
    • Reply
  • Natalie
    Devoted July 2021
    Natalie ·
    • Flag

    Hi there, so sorry you are going through this too, you're not alone! I've just posted a lengthy message regarding this issue. I think it would really help you to read it.

    https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-forums/june-couples-postponing-due-to-covid-19-encouragement/e2e6a03e5635af33.html

    All the best,

    Natalie


    • Reply
  • Natalie
    Devoted July 2021
    Natalie ·
    • Flag

    Hi there, so sorry you are going through this too, you're not alone! I've just posted a lengthy message regarding this issue. I think it would really help you to read it.

    https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-forums/june-couples-postponing-due-to-covid-19-encouragement/e2e6a03e5635af33.html

    All the best,

    Natalie

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