This message is for any couple, particularly couples with June weddings planned, facing the decision of whether or not to postpone their wedding amidst the coronavirus pandemic.
I want to start off by saying that you are not alone and your feelings are valid. The decision to postpone your wedding is painful, difficult, and filled with anxiety - BUT - the way you handle it does not have to be. Let me explain our situation to hopefully put you at ease and help you make a decision.
Our wedding was planned for June 13, 2020 and we decided to postpone out of an abundance of caution. We felt we didn't have any other choice despite June seeming far enough out to not have to make that call.
I spent the whole month of March agonizing over what to do in this situation - many days and nights I sobbed because I've waited my whole life for this wedding and spent the last two years planning it down to the "T". Our venue notified us that their April couples had to postpone due to forced closures and was becoming more and more booked as other couples were facing this same decision, so we were having to decide on postponing to a date a whole year from now: July 17, 2021.
I paused - prayed - and spent days searching for guidance. Once I de-cluttered my brain, the decision was clear. When it comes down to it, marriage is a commitment between two people and a wedding is a party that can be rescheduled. Postponement does not change our commitment to each other.
If you've been planning a big wedding like us in California with around 220 guests, and your heart is set on having the same wedding with the same amount of people, then you must consider the following:
1. Everyone's health and safety - especially your elderly guests. Are you prepared to put loved ones at risk?
2. Would your guests be comfortable attending such a large gathering?
- Probably not. The social distancing ban is in effect until the beginning of May. That doesn't leave much time with June approaching to "return to normal" or even begin to feel normal.
3. With many people currently out of work, would your guests be financially stable enough to make the trip to your wedding after barely getting back to work?
- Maybe, but maybe not. We don't want to put our guests in that position.
4. Are you okay with having to downsize your guest count if the large gathering ban has not been lifted by then?
- No. We invited everyone who is important to us and want everyone to celebrate our big day. Downsizing our guests count is just not an option.
5. Have you had to cancel any other wedding related events? If you have, is the memory of having to do this going to effect your happiness leading up to your wedding?
- Yes, we had to cancel all of them. I want the typical wedding experience. I want the bridal shower and bachelorette weekend getaway and I want the same for my fiance. we deserve to celebrate and be celebrated!
After discussing each of those points, there was no other option in our minds but to postpone. As painful as it was to come to that conclusion, we realized that we want everyone at our wedding - we don't want to have to cut it down to a small gathering of 10 people. We want the party that we've been planning and we don't want to have to cut anything out. We don't want any bad memories surrounding the most important day of our lives and would be heartbroken if anyone fell ill at our wedding. Its just not worth the risk.
Once we officially decided to postpone, all of my anxiety melted away.
We are willing to wait to have the wedding we want rather than the wedding that the coronavirus would force us to have.
I hope other couples out there facing this decision can find comfort in knowing that you can still have the wedding of your dreams, you just have to take control of the situation and make the best of it. Don't let this virus dictate the outcome of your special day. Postpone if that means you'll be happier knowing that nothing has to change except the date.