NWR: life as an introvert (rant)

It's just so obnoxious, if you can clearly see someone is not incredibly social why not just leave them be? Let them enjoy the night in their own way? If I wanted to dance I would, no need to put a fucking spotlight on me for it and make me feel even MORE panicky. Ugh an anxious introverts nightmare...

Btw if you're not an introvert/socially anxious person I'm sure this all sounds completely ridiculous but trust me, its agonizing.

Girl I totally feel you!!!! I made a post recently about being anxious and stressed due to being an introvert and people really don't get it unless they too are introverted. I'm sorry they wouldn't let you just be

I struggle with social anxiety and it's gotten worse since college.

Take a few days and relax at home with fh and I hope u feel better!

Exactly Leah, I could honestly sit there with my drink or water and be having a good time.

Nothing is worse than being forced to socialize like that, it's so rude and inconsiderate of how that individual might be feeling.

Helps to know that there's others out there like me.

@Alicia thank you and it's so true that people who don't suffer from this have a hard time getting it.

I couldn't possibly tell you how happy I am to be staying home in my PJ's tomorrow!

I understand. I'm actually torqued at DH right now for inviting people over for dinner tomorrow without discussing with me. Being hostess stresses me out.

Totally understand!! I get this sometimes at work when I have to talk to a large group of people-and try to awkwardly laugh it off...it does suck. I'm sorry they were being so mean! Some people just don't understand

Just curious if you plan on having a DJ at your wedding? Because I can see many people trying to drag you out on the dance floor if so. I hate that too, super annoying when people do that.

I dread going to parties alone too. I hate knowing that people won't respect who i am and try to force me into fitting in their box. If I know I made a significant effort and showed up for my friend, i don't feel bad about leaving early or when I start to feel uncomfortable. I can only take so much of unconsiderate strangers.

I would have absolutely thought you were miserable and not feeling included or welcomed if you sat alone while everyone else was dancing. I would have felt like not making an overture and encouraging you to come dance was a douche move. I'm sure that's how the people encouraging you felt- that it would be rude to ignore you. Thanks for the perspective on this because it will definitely impact how I approach people in similar situations. I am an introvert as well, but no social anxiety, so I would dance and party all night happily but spend Sunday by myself, hopefully not talking. Interesting how the personality type manifests in different people.

Feh, that stinks lady. I can see where AlwaysMs. is coming from (people trying to include you) especially if those people had been drinking and had no filter/lowered inhibitions. Doesn't excuse it if you clearly weren't feeling it, though. I have generalized anxiety so I'm social but the thought of going to a party alone (or even driving alone which is messed up) would prevent me from going so it stinks you went out to support the birthday lady and left feeling that way, props to you for trying though.

That is absolutely the worst! I tend to be more of an extrovert but have times where I just need some major alone time to recharge. My FH is VERY introverted and we have talked at length on how to approach different types of situations because I always want him to be comfortable. Plus I get very uncomfy when he is uncomfy and then I try to over fix things. Lol. Just turns into a big mess!

Hopefully your good friends at your wedding will know you well and be kind to how you want to enjoy your wedding!

I understand completely and it sounds like we're in exactly the same boat. Some people don't get it, and mistake it as me being a "bitch" or something, when in reality it's my anxiety. Then there's people like my mom who don't understand or believe in it and think you just need to get over it. Easier said than done! I do my best to expose myself to uncomfortable situations, but usually when I have advanced notice and mentally prepare. If FH says, "so and so invited us over tonight, wanna go?" That's when my anxiety shoots through the roof and I usually can't go. You're not alone!

Been there, done that! It is pretty awkward when others insist you are not having fun unless you are up-n-dancing, etc. I've so left events for the same reason in the past...why stick around when you constantly have to explain to others that you're fine, sitting, having a drink, enjoying people watching-n-still socializing some...

Been there, done that! It is pretty awkward when others insist you are not having fun unless you are up-n-dancing, etc. I've so left events for the same reason in the past...why stick around when you constantly have to explain to others that you're fine, sitting, having a drink, enjoying people watching-n-still socializing some...

I can be social and have fun but my social battery drains sooooo fast. I'm always the one that wants to go home first. This is with my friends.

In a public setting like a mall or shopping area - I want nothing more than to escape immediately.

This has gotten much worse for me as I've gotten older.

Thankfully, I am marrying someone who likes being a homebody. I don't feel the need to stay out past when I'm done for the night because I'm afraid he will be upset at me (like my ex).

I get it. One of my biggest pet peeves? "You're so quiet! Why don't you talk?" I want to say "oh thank you! Okay I'll talk now thanks for making me so comfortable. .."

So grateful for all of these comments and to know that so many of you feel/are the same way!

@Future luckily my FH is an extrovert which is one of the things that attracted me to him from the beginning because I so admire that quality in others, when I'm with him and we're out somewhere I'm much more comfortable and open, his nature pulls me out of my shell and I'm able to be much more social. Had he been there last night it definitely would have been at least more tolerable- knowing that makes me feel confident about our wedding day. Sounds super corny but if he's next to me I'm like okay, I can do this

I agree with others that when I see someone sitting alone, I want to make sure they are feeling included and a part of the fun. Especially if I'm already drinking or drunk. It makes drunk me sad to think someone's not having fun and I'll do anything to try to get them up. But I'll also get the message. Try to not let it bother you too much. The intent was probably more to make sure you were enjoying yourself and not put the spotlight on you. I have a lot of introverted friends and I love them all!

Most extroverts just don't get it. I bring a book or kindle to every big social situation so that I can 'escape' when I've reached my limit without just up and leaving. Thank goodness my circle of friends mostly gets it and doesn't think I'm being rude when I retreat.

I get this so much!! I'm lucky that FH isn't as intoverted as me, so in social situations I usually just use him as a shield lol. But he still hates parties just as much as me, so we don't socialize much anyways and all my life I've gotten from people, "You're so quiet!" "Why don't you talk?" "Stop being so loud (sarcastically)". Then if I do happen to speak, "Oh my gosh, she knows how to talk!" they make a huge deal about it, and put all of the attention on me :T And now it's finally hitting me that I'm going to have to be an actual hostess at my wedding...going around and starting conversations with everyone! Even though it will be family, it's hard for me to warm up to people