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Just Said Yes June 2021

Number of bridesmaids vs. Groomsmen

Alex, on May 14, 2020 at 9:13 AM Posted in Planning 0 23
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My fiance has 5 groomsmen, and doesnt want to cut anyone out. I on the other hand have 3 bridesmaids but the third I am on the fence about (not super close/ lives in another state). I would prefer to have people by my side that I’m close with. My question is.. will the “ratio” look strange? Or like I have no friends compared to him?

23 Comments

  • V
    Master July 2019
    Veronica ·
    • Flag

    You don't need to have the same number of people. If you aren't close to the third person, then I wouldn't ask to her to be in your wedding. Your wedding party should only include people you are very close to. If you are that concerned, do you have siblings that you would want to be in your wedding? My bridesmaids/bride's man were my sister, my brother, my brother's wife, my husband's sister, and one of my friends who I met through my husband as she is married to one of his groomsmen. I would have had one of my other guy friends instead of the friend I met through my husband, but my guy friend was also engaged and buying a house so he didn't have the extra money to spend and I didn't want him to feel obligated to be in my wedding.

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  • A
    Just Said Yes June 2021
    Alex ·
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    I am an only child, and no female cousins.
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  • Kimberly
    Devoted October 2020
    Kimberly ·
    • Flag
    It might be a little odd but doable. Like you could have 2 bridesmaids each have a groomsman on each arm and the last pair up your tentative third bridesmaid with the last groomsman. Or if you don’t have a third bridesmaid you could have MOH walk with two groomsmen, one bridesmaid walk with one groomsman, and the last two groomsmen walk arm in arm (if you want to bring humor into it, also depending how close the groomsmen are).
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  • V
    Master July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    Does your husband have sisters that you are close to? I am very close to my husband's sister which is why I had her in my wedding.

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  • A
    Just Said Yes June 2021
    Alex ·
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    I like those ideas!
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  • A
    Just Said Yes June 2021
    Alex ·
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    Yes I have her as a bridesmaid, she also has been my friend for years! So that works out
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  • V
    Master July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    Oh good Smiley smile I wouldn't worry about having an even number. I also wouldn't pressure your fiance to cut people as groomsmen either. Another option would be to have the groomsmen already standing at the front and then have the bridesmaids walk down the aisle by themselves. I have seen this done before.

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  • Leanne
    Devoted September 2020
    Leanne ·
    • Flag
    I am a huge believer in picking people you think will be in your life forever, and uneven sides are fine. You can have one groomsmen walk two bridesmaids down the aisle or however you need to do it
    • Reply
  • Nicole
    Dedicated September 2021
    Nicole ·
    • Flag
    I’m not having an even number either..nothing wrong with a little asymmetry! I’m having the groomsmen enter in from right with the officiant to stand up and my bridesmaids will walk down the aisle alone.
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  • Nicole
    Rockstar November 2020
    Nicole ·
    • Flag
    I’m having 3 bridesmaids while my FH has 5 grooms people. I wasn’t about to ask anyone else just so sides could be even. I’m glad I didn’t. My girls are my 3 closest and I couldn’t imagine having anyone else up there. I have no worries that it won’t look fine on our wedding day.
    • Reply
  • E
    Dedicated September 2020
    E.F. ·
    • Flag
    I dont think its weird. i have 3 and 3 but if all 5 are important to him ull work it out
    • Reply
  • M
    Super January 2019
    Maggie ·
    • Flag

    "My question is.. will the “ratio” look strange? Or like I have no friends compared to him?"

    It will not look odd in any way, nor will anyone look at it and think anything at all, and certainly not to compare the number of friends you and your future spouse have. There are all kinds of reasons to have different numbers of friends; this is real life and real life doesn't end up "even."

    You each choose the people you are closest to and go about your day.

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  • Melle
    Rockstar June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag

    If you don't like the idea of it looking so uneven, they don't need to stand there with you either. they can walk and then sit down

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  • Kayse
    Devoted December 2020
    Kayse ·
    • Flag

    I don't think it's weird. I've seen the bride's male friends/brothers stand with the groom, making the party uneven. Looked fine to me.

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  • M
    Dedicated October 2021
    Megan ·
    • Flag

    Real relationships > aesthetics, always.

    Uneven sides are totally fine: your side should always represent the people you couldn't see yourself getting married without.

    I have 9 on my side, including my brother and male best friend, while my fiancé has 7--haven't had a second thought about it.

    • Reply
  • Jana
    Rockstar June 2023
    Jana ·
    • Flag
    Your guests will not be overanalyzing your choice. Pick who is closest to you.
    • Reply
  • Aurora
    Dedicated July 2020
    Aurora ·
    • Flag
    I was supposed to have 5 Bridesmaids and my fiancé 4. All of his seem okay moving forward but 3-4 out of 5 of mine now only maybe will come to our wedding due to Covid. So I could be a 1 and 4 ratio. Also I already paid for everything and everyone. Yes pick wisely! Agree with everyone else here in that.
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  • Laquita
    Devoted July 2021
    Laquita ·
    • Flag

    Uneven sides are fine, as long as you have those you truly are close to by your side then that's all that matters. I have more people on my side than FH (7,5), but we were told it'll be ok. I just happen to have a lot of siblings vs him who just doesn't nor does he have too many friends.

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  • Kari
    VIP May 2020
    Kari ·
    • Flag

    Our wedding party was going to be one bridesmaid and four groomsmen. Pick the people most important to you to share the day with, and don't feel pressure to include someone that you aren't super close to just to make the numbers more even.

    We've had to reschedule by a full year so I may opt to include 1-2 extra bridesmaids (they couldn't come on our original date) but haven't decided yet. I will probably ask them closer to 6-8 months out when I have a better idea of if our rescheduled date will even happen and how stressed I feel about coronavirus then.

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  • Elizabeth
    Rockstar June 2021
    Elizabeth ·
    • Flag

    Asymmetry isn't bad! We always think it'll look weird, but honestly everyone will be looking at you two getting married, not the bridal party. Keep the people closest to you and don't worry about the numbers.

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