Not yet engaged

If you have made the commitment and are picking out dates, you are engaged. You don't need to have a ring, a formal proposal, etc.

Sounds to me like you're engaged you've agreed to get married and chosen a date!

Absolutely. We planned pretty much the entire wedding before being formally engaged. Rings don't symbolize a formal loving commitment. If you are planning, then you are engaged!

If you’re picking a wedding date, you’re engaged.

I had wine night with my now MOH and at some point in the night, we literally chose and added my hypothetical wedding date in my calendar LOL. When I got home, I jokingly told my fiancé and the next weekend, he proposed - and that's the date we stuck with! I think it's way more common (and normal) to totally discuss marriage and wedding plans before you're formally engaged. Not weird at all!

View Quoted Comment Thank you! We have been looking at rings and will be formerly engaged soon, but I was feeling a bit silly without being engaged and still planning

I have been planning my wedding since i was 16 years old. (i am now 33 years old) didn't have a boyfriend til i was 30, and i had already had our wedding month picked out years ago... prior to the finance ... so no, you are not weird/silly, and no you are not formally engaged until he officially asks you... we dated 2.5 years, talked about marriage and kids prior to the first date, got engaged dec 21, 2020, and are getting married may 8 2021.. we are both looking forward to finally being married!!

Hahaha us. When he mentioned marriage (we are middle aged and were thinking of down the road retirement planning) I said “ok I meed two things - a wedding and a ring!”
We have the venue booked but no announcement yet. He has plans for a romantic engagement. I have told my sister and BFF.

You chose a date- you’re engaged. The ring is just a technicality.

Yes! We have even booked a venue, food, and I have the dress. We haven't announced it yet. We are waiting for my ring to come in before we tell the rest of the families.

We booked our venue before we got the ring. I think we also got the DJ and planner before the ring as well. Don't feel silly. Now is a good time as ever to plan

On The Knot's wedding planning "to-do" list, "start planning with The Knot" actually is listed before "get engaged."

Just a fun bit of trivia for you.

I think it's quite normal. I suspect most formal proposals are not true surprises - their exact timing may be, but I feel most couples discuss life plans and marriage in advance and so they know that they are going to get engaged at some point. And I think that most people, women especially, start thinking about the wedding after serious discussions of marriage come up.

Plan away!

MANIFEST IT!!!!

My fiance and I talked about it but didn't plan anything until I had the ring

Honestly we aren't engaged but we have like 75% of the wedding planned.

My fiancé and i had been talking about wedding and marriage and kids way before we were engaged.

funny enough, i was frustrated with my fiancé when he proposed to me. we had gotten into an argument earlier about something dumb and then went to go see cursed child... and then he proposed after the show when we were going to bed. lol

I still said yes obviously... and he totally surprised me even though we were talking about everything and planning. lol

I had a teacher that did this her now husband proposed at their venue when they found the one they loved, right were they were setting up the alter. I actually found it incredibly romantic.

Not everyone has the typical proposal. And there’s nothing wrong with that. But if you guys are committed enough to start planning a wedding and pick a date… You’re definitely engaged at that point LOL so congrats!🎉🎊🍾

Honestly we did this. We didn't consider ourselves engaged until he got down on one knee with a ring. We wanted to get married quickly so I bought a dress, booked a venue, etc. before hand and didn't tell anyone but close family. It made our engagement more special and I don't see anything wrong with it, even if you don't have a traditional engagement. My fiancé's parents also agreed to get married before hand and he officially proposed to her the night she got back from her wedding shower!

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All of these responses make me feel better! I should also mention that we have been together 7.5 years and have a 1 year old daughter together ❤️