Not wanting to include family in wedding party

I don't think your mom will hate you forever. Maybe she will be pissed

She has likely already said something to your sister. Suck it up and ask her. 6 is already a huge bp

You should still include your sister

Its not really up to your mother to begin with, and i dont think she will hate you, she might be a little mad but she will get over it, its your special day not hers and eventually she will get that.

What do YOU want to do?

Also, it is okay to have uneven sides. No one will care about that, if you REALLY want your sis to be there, then ask her to be a BM and let your FH know of your decision. Like I said, it doesn't matter to have uneven sides.

You definitely don't have to have even sides, your friendships are more important than symmetry

The choice of whether or not to include your sister is not your mom's, but it is worth thinking if the fight is worth it. She is family and relationships change over time, so you never know. Putting aside what your mom wants, how would your sister feel either way? How would you feel if the roles were reversed and your sister did or didn't ask you? Definitely worth thinking about more!

We both decided not to include our siblings in our wedding party. My sister is a drama queen and is very judgmental. I decided early on not to ask her. We discussed it, but she is just "too much" and has a tendency to come unraveled at the most inopportune time.

My suggestion, since you've already told you mother you would ask her, keep your word and ask her. However, let her know that you are still not sure how many BM you will have, but will include her. Then ask her to be a reader and give a toast at the reception.

Same here I don't want my brothers.. (One wants to be in it the other doesn't care one way or the other). My mom is livid too. If I include my siblings then I have to include FH's sister. That is not happening! Hold your ground. She will get over it; Besides it's your choice not mommy's.

Is your mom paying for the wedding? If so you might need to have your sister in the wedding.

The sides don't need to be even.

So, from experience your Mom has probably already told your sister. You didn't want to ask her in the first place, so I'd ask yourself if you really want here there or not.

Sides don't have to be even, so don't think about that. Just ask yourself if you really want her there, or if the damage that will likely be done matters to you or not.

I think as proper etiquette, your sister should possibly be in it, but if you really don't want her to be in it, then I guess your mom will get over it lol.

Seriously, do not feel bad about not having your sister in the wedding. If you don't want her in there, don't do it. My sister isn't in my wedding and neither are her kids. Just do what you want, don't worry about other people!

Even if her mom is paying, she has NO say over who is in the bridal parties. Tell your mom that you have made your decision, and you hope that she can accept it. If your mother decides to act like an adult and realize that this is not a decision she has any say over, she will get over it...if not well I guess that she will also have the choice to attend the wedding or not. And if she does not come, that will be on her, not you.

What's up with all these crazy family members who think they have a say in every aspect of their family member's lives? Weddings may bring out the crazy in some, but the crazy have always existed. If it is not who will be in your wedding, it will be how your kids are raised or any other thing she has no business butting in about. Tell her you and you fh will decide and that will be the end of that discussion.

Also, this has nothing to do with etiquette. If your mom talked to your sister, that is on her. You did not personally ask your sister and your mom had no business talking to her about being in the bridal party. You have not asked your sister to be in the bridal party, so no need to tell her she is out...because she was never in. Your mom has a big mouth, sorry.

You guys have been so helpful and it makes me feel better that I'm not totally being an asshole about this entire situation.

My sister and I have never ever been close, she's always thought our lives have been a competition (she is 2 yrs younger than me) and has always been extremely rude, disrespectful, and inappropriate at the complete worst times. I promise I'm not trying to be a crazy bride, but she doesn't get along with new people very well(my friends aka he bridal party) and I can't see her behaving for my dress shopping, my shower, Bach party etc.. I don't need the stress of her not having no fun and going on a rampage because she is not in the spotlight.

My mom and I are close and I can tell it upsets her that "I" can't look past my sister acting like a physco at any moment during this next year. But she also agrees that my sister is unpredictable and can get out of hand at the blink of an eye. She even told me to plan my bridal shower and Bach party on a Saturday so my sister can't come(she works Saturday's) so obviously you can tell my mom just wants her in it.

Having equal sides doesn't bother me, however I WANT equal sides lol... I obviously still haven't asked her, so I'm just letting this play out for a while I guess..

I don't think you should have to include her either, and I'm sure your mother won't hate you. If your sister is anything like mine, she may very well give your mom heck over not being a BM for a long time.

If you do decide to have her as a bridesmaid, is there anyway to involve her in a minimal way? Not have her go dress shopping with you? Sounds like you mom knows what she's like and is on your side with keeping her in check, maybe it would be ok to just have her be a BM in name only.

No need to include her, your mom will get over it and your sister will be relieved you didn't ask her.