Not wanting the groom/mother's dance? Rude or acceptable?

I would talk to your FH. Just because you won't be doing a dance with your parents, doesn't mean he should lose the opportunity.

That's more his choice to make. If he wants the dance, I say let him. It's his day too. It might mean more to him than you think. My FH never made a huge deal out of it in planning but I know him and his mom, and I know he would have been upset had I asked him to skip it. That and his mother would have taken my head off

It's only rude if it's important to FH and you don't allow it. We won't be having family dances, but FH doesn't care.

My FH honestly does not care about the dances, he didn't know it was a tradition and has no feelings on the subject of them. we've of corse already talked about it. He see's my point and he said he's totally fine with not making a big deal out of it.

It's more the audiences view that i'm concerned about.

FH only care's about our dance. After we dance we are kind of going into a free for all reception mode. No seating plans, plenty of games, tons of food, smore's stand.. etc.

As a wedding guest I don't think I would notice if the family dances happen.,. Just do what you feel comfortable with

I would talk to FH and ask him if he wanted the dance. And if it was a big deal to FMIL. It is not worth creating hard feelings over a dance. I know if would be a big deal to my FH and I wouldn't want to take that away from him. It'd be a little selfish...

ETA: I saw you said no seating plan. People on here will tell you that is a really bad idea (because it is). I would strongly reconsider that unless you have a lot more tables/seats than you have guests.

I wouldn't want to take that away from my H or my Mother-in-law if it was important to the two of them, just because of my own circumstances. If they are both fine with it, then by all means, skip it. But I don't think you get to make a sweeping generalization without discussing it first.

As long as he and his mother are fine with forgoing it.

Don't be concerned about what the guests think of it though. My family all knows my dad is not in my life so the father daughter dance wouldn't be a thing. I wouldn't be sitting there lonely watching FH dance with his mom, I'd be happy to see it. It's a nice moment.

Make sure he and his mother are okay with it. It is not fair to not allow him to have a dance just because you are not having one. If he and is mother aren't interested in a dance, then no dances!

I am in a similar situation where my parent's are deceased so I won't be having father/daughter dance and my FH wasn't going to do any dances either because he felt bad. But I really didn't want him to miss out on the opportunity to have that moment with his mom, and I explained how important it is to his mom to experience that moment with her son too. He is now going to have the dance with his mom and I'm happy about it. I think you guys should discuss it with his mom and see how she feels too. It may not seem like a big deal to you guys but it may mean a lot to her. I don't think everyone will be sitting around thinking poor bride, this is a happy occasion.

Can you dance with your mom?

I would have to agree with a few PP, you need to talk to FH. His mother might have been looking forward to this moment with her son, and vice versa. Gage how he feels about it, and have him talk to your FMIL.

If your FH is fine with it, then skip it

Glad you already talked to FH. Do you have a good enough relationship that you could ask your FMIL if she cares? I've seen moms go either way - some dream about it for their son's whole life, others hate to be the center of attention. My MIL would have been so disappointed if we had skipped it. I think it's fine to just have the first dance and then the mother son dance, your guests won't notice or care that there isn't a father daughter dance, but I think you should fit it in somewhere if your FMIL is attached to the idea.

Rude. A mother/son dance is about the mother and the son, not you. I don't expect people to be gossiping about oooh, you didn't follow up with your own dance! I don't have a dad either so I won't be doing father/daughter, but that's no reason for me to deny my MIL, who's wonderful, this moment with her only son. My MIL never would have spoken up if I said no, but I know I'd feel terrible about myself for not offering them the chance. They'll have their moment on Saturday, and I can just chill and enjoy it, rather than seething about what I don't have. Because I'm a mature ass lady.

I would be sure and get your FH's opinion. If he wants to do the special dance with his mom, it wouldn't be right to not let that happen.

I'm in a similar situation. I'm not very close to my real dad and I don't want to ask my stepdad because it would just end up hurting my real dad's feelings. (They'll both be walking me down the aisle together.) FH and FMIL talked and neither of them mind completely skipping the dances.

I don't think it's fair to him.. I'm sorry you don't have that much family but you can't take that opportunity away from him & his mom.

We aren't having parent dances. My dad probably won't be at the reception. Originally, FH was still planning to dance with his mom. I was totally okay with that but now his mom doesn't want to either. We mutually decided to not have parent dances but that was BOTH of our decisions.

We just had a thread like this didn't we??

My dad died last year and my mom thought a dance with her would be weird so we skipped it. H danced with his mom still. It was beautiful, practically everyone was tearing up because they were so sweet together. Don't take this moment away from them if it's what they want.

I would encourage the dance myself. They may say they don't care to spare your feelings but I would want them to have that moment.