Not Sending formal invitations Using word of mouth.

Have you thought about creating a second invitation/announcement that only has the basic wedding information without the location? It gets the word out to the people you and the FH care about without the potential to offend feelings.

Yes I was told "they don't do things fancy" . Telling people is good enough and she and her husband are professionals . But I know this is wrong and my mother feels it is tack.

I would tell her no way!..are you having a reception?.dont you want to know who is coming,or keep track of it with rsvp cards?.i guess i dont get why people would feel bad...is she paying for everything and just trying to be pushy?

I don't know about pushy, we are having 3 the receptions 1 after the wedding in a central location then one in each of our home towns one in which she is hosting and the other 2 my parents, our families live 24 hours apart

I feel your pain...it is very tough dealing with future inlaws on matters like this, and it sounds like you are in a pretty delicate situation. Often times when dealing with families from small towns they tend to buck certain commonalities if they feel it will offend those who may not be use to such customary that is deemed "fancy". I do not think it wise to eliminate the sending of invitations just one the premise of not hurting feelings, as not sending an invitation can hurt just as worse...especially when family is involved. One thought that comes to mind is having a Welcome Home reception for when you return to the States. Invite all to come and celebrate in the new joy of your marriage. That way those that were not able to attend the destination wedding can still participate.

Best Wishes,

Tricia Holter

*******@***********.***

www.eventsbythe.com

I posted my last comment before seeing your previous post about the 3 receptions. In that case, I don't see anything wrong with sending an invitation. Perhaps you could just send a Reception only invitation. But again I think I'd have to go against what the FMIL is saying on this one. This is YOUR (and FH) wedding and that is one thing people (FMILs included) have to remember.

My FH agrees with his mother not me. He thinks its a waste and people will have hurt feelings because they can't travel the distance . I feel it is not up to us to decide who can make the trip or not, any suggestions on what to do ? Just send to my family and friends and forget his ?

That's a rough one especially if your FH agrees as well. Sad to say but you may just have to do that...and leave his family out. Are you expecting people to come to the destination...any confirmations yet? In that you're doing 3 receptions I am imagining that you had to have sent invitations for those right? Perhaps the FH and MIL feel that that invitation would suffice?

What exactly is the MIL planning on announcing in church?...just that you're getting married? Does she not plan on telling the church where you're getting married?

They did announce the wedding at church' and I am assuming the reception that they are having at the church. I put a little save the date on Facebook since we are getting married where we attend college and are having open church wedding and MIL feels that and announcing at church is enough . They don't need a " a fancy production" since they don't want the invitation do I include his parents name on the invitation and just use mine parents

Pam, if MIL is paying for the reception, you should include her name on the invite...why don't you just send a wedding announcement, such as "Announcing the Wedding of Jane & John, February the 14th, 2013" ( or whatever the proper wording would be...then include the local reception info as well...Reception to be held at A Church on B Date, 2013.

That is the plan then we are placing a RSVP and a reception at a later date invitation I. The reception at our home towns but there is to no Invitations to anyone In his family or home town. They are telling people word of mouth. The thing is I am making my invitation and have under $1 in them each

I agree with you and I think your FH should be on your side on this. If I were in your shoes I would be pissed at FH. We have already decided when it comes to issues with our families we are going to have each others backs.

I think it's very presumptuous to think people will be hurt because they can't travel to a wedding. But that aside, if she doesn't want to give you addresses, and your FH agrees with her, there's nothing much you can do. The deal with your side and make sure your FH understands he may have one of those receptions with only your family and friends.

But the thing that totally puzzles me, is how do you organize any form of a reception without having a clue about how many guests you will have? Even if it's cake and punch, there's a huge difference between providing cake for 10 people or for 150?

Honestly I don't see why she even has an issue with it invitations are pretty normal to send for any event (not fancy) especially a wedding. Besides there not that expensive especially if you use VP you can et them for almost nothing at all.

Jennifer that's exactly what I feel but I guess to save peace I will just find it not needed for their side .