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Just Said Yes May 2019

Not on speaking terms with my father. What do i do for the father daughter dance?

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Shae, on March 3, 2019 at 6:43 PM

My father abandoned me when I was 9 months old. I haven’t seen him since. My mom hasn’t even seen him since. My brothers father adopted me then divorced my mom when I was 6 or 7 years old. I have spoken to him once since then and it wasn’t a pleasant experience. I have my moms 3 younger brothers and my 2 younger brothers and even my mom that I’m trying to decide who to dance with. I’m very close with my brothers and my uncles, my uncles have been a father figure my entire life but that’s all three of them so I don’t know who to pick origin shouldpick one of them or all of them. My brothers have been there for me and are some of my best friends and I know some people would say that brothers taking care of you are not the same as a father (figure) takingcareof you. I’m also wondering if I should dance with my mom as well during the mother son dance and then I could dance with either my brothers or my uncles or something. I don’t know...

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24 Comments

Expert June 2019
maryann · on March 4, 2019 at 3:57 PM
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You can always just dance with your mom. Instead of a father daughter dance .... do a mother daughter dance. In fact I was considering doing one with my mom also cause I heard a song and it was so perfect. The song is by Ashanti called "Mother".... When I think of the father daughter dance it is to show honor to the person that has guided you and lead you to become the woman and now wife you will be. I know that it is tradition to do it with your dad or a close male, but I am all about breaking some traditions if your mom was your rock, your mentor, your guide I think she will be honored. You could even make it a surprise tribute to her for all that she has been through and done.... Just an idea good luck
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Expert July 2019
Natalie · on March 4, 2019 at 5:42 PM
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Why not pick all 3? I’m sure finding a song with your circumstances will be impossible so why not go with a instrumental song? And dance with 1 person for about a minute then have the other one come up and dance with the next person for another minute then the last person another minute. If you love to dance you should be able to dance especially if those father figures are important to you and want them to know that you appreciate all their hard work.
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Expert July 2019
Nora · on March 4, 2019 at 5:50 PM
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We are skipping all together! My father is deceased (and we weren’t close anyway) and FH does not speak to his mother. We are dancing then going straight into dinner (not a dance party vibe we’re going for anyway since older crowd haha)
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Beginner June 2020
Telly · on March 5, 2019 at 10:38 AM
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Skip that tradition. Just make sure you let the DJ or the band know that there will be no father/daughter dance. You don't have to do anything tradition if you don't want to. It's your wedding and you can have it your way and what suits you.
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