Not Officially Engaged Yet...but

If you're both in agreement that you want to get married in December, I would say you're engaged.

That is a really short time to plan a wedding.

I'd talk to your FH and say point blank "Are we getting married in December? If so, I'd like to put deposits down."

This December? Are you planning on doing a courthouse wedding? Sounds like you both need to have a serious conversation about your future and make some concrete dates. Most people take a year to plan their wedding because vendors book up so quickly.

December 2017? That is a really short amount of time to be planning. Otherwise why don't you just talk to your FH? Ask if he'd like to go look at venues and start discussing a budget.

I would wait until there is a proposal.

I think you need to have a conversation with FH and bluntly asked if he intends to get married to you, and further, if he intends for the wedding to take place in December.

Maybe you should propose to him?

It's only dumb if you haven't already had that "we are getting married, this is happening, so let's start planning" conversation.

I agree with PPs...have a serious discussion about this with him. Or like danilaughs suggested, propose to him!

When you say you talk about getting married in December is it "Don't you think a December wedding would be dreamy?" Or is it "what day in December do you want to get married, 15th or 20th?" Big difference.

Just ask him.

I am in the same boat there hasn't been and official proposal with the bells and whistles but we have sign a contract for our venue and have been booking Djs but no ring but it's because she wants to get me a particular ring and not on any credit so I understand and I fine with it your not silly you are both agreeing as long as you both are actively planning and agreeing you are engaged my dear

When he's serious, he'll propose. I've seen 3 women planning a wedding too many times before any proposal. One of them even took engagement photos and made a website. What happened? 3+ years later, none of them have been proposed to or gotten married yet. I say wait.

FH and I started planning before we were "officially engaged". We knew we wanted to get married and in what time frame, so we booked a venue. In order to keep stress down and waiting until he was ready to propose we decided to keep planning and booked everything but our officiant and florist before he proposed. If you are on the same page and know this is what you both want I don't think it's dumb. I do think December is cutting extremely close to plan a wedding.

I love the idea of you proposing! but also, i feel concerned that if you are uncomfortable or uncertain about just bringing it up with him directly and asking point blank about what the timeline for your future is, there might be some communication issues that you need to address.

Well me and my FH are in the same boat we agreed to get married, set a date, book venue and vendors. We're engaged he just hasn't done the official proposal with the ring yet. If there was a conversation that said hey we're gonna get married start planning. He can give you a ring later.

Thank you everyone...I think i'm feeling the same things that you are saying. I know that he is committed to getting married and he loves me, but he is a procrastinator for sure. He talks about getting married as much as I do. I do think that I would feel more confident making plans after an official proposal even if that means that we have to push everything out longer. I can still look, dream, and have ideas for when it's time to make official plans and place deposits! You ladies are the best!! Thanks for the advice!

You can definitely start saving $ n getting ideas now though

We talked about style of wedding, guest list, and even venues before being engaged. We didn't make any plans, but more or less said "oh I like this" "wouldn't this be cool" "how big is your family!?" I never considered myself engaged during this and neither did he.

I would have a definitive conversation about it. My friend's bf was away a while and asked her what size engagement ring she wanted so naturally she thought she was getting engaged. She like, asked me to be a bridesmaid and picked out a venue (no deposit or anything) all within two weeks of him asking about a ring. Months later still no engagement she's PISSED and on him all the time about it.

So I'd ask him "which date in December is best for you?" or something that shows he's actually committed to going through with marriage.

and I hope you get your dream wedding this time

I wouldn't plan until there's a proposal. And its going to be very difficult to get everything planned in three months.