Haley
Expert October 2020

Not losing weight before the wedding...

Haley, on October 25, 2019 at 12:51 PM Posted in Fitness and Health 0 52
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Just a little rant today.......(sorry in advance for the negativity!)


Am I the only person NOT trying to lose weight before my wedding?

I bought my dress in the correct size, I'm doing everything I normally do, and I have no plans to lose (or gain I guess) weight before my wedding.

I don't really understand why some people buy a dress 2-3 sizes too small and then freak out when they're 3-4 weeks away from their wedding and they haven't lost the 50lbs (or whatever) they said they were going to lose.

I also kind of feel judged by some people that I'm not going on a crazy diet and I have no plans to "get in shape for the big day".

My mom AND grandma asked me right after I got engaged if I was going lose some weight before the wedding. Nope, sure am not. I like the way I look and have no plans to specifically "get in shape" for 1 day of my life.

52 Comments

  • W-K
    Super October 2019
    W-K ·
    • Flag

    I didn't plan to at all. I'm a fat girl and I'm going to stay a fat girl. My DH loves me just he way I am. I think I looked great on my wedding day. I think we all put ourselves under such pressure as it is, why add something as stress inducing as weight loss to it?

    • Reply
  • Haley
    Expert October 2020
    Haley ·
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    That's what I'm sayin! Wedding planning is already stressful enough and now we're adding the pressure of like....a new years resolution? haha

    • Reply
  • Lauren
    VIP September 2019
    Lauren ·
    • Flag

    I lost 5 lbs from stress the week of my wedding anyway. Smiley sad

    In total I lost over 20 lbs. It is a different stress when none of your work clothes fit and you can't afford new ones because you are also paying for a wedding. Smiley tongue

    • Reply
  • Haley
    Expert October 2020
    Haley ·
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    View Quoted Comment

    I didn't even think about that!

    • Reply
  • Stephanie
    Dedicated October 2019
    Stephanie ·
    • Flag

    I'm not the skinniest person ever and I definitely have some curves, but I'm comfortable in my own skin. I think that it's alright for anyone to want to lose weight for their wedding and maybe it's what gets them into a healthier mindset. However, I didn't want to be someone I wasn't -- not even for a dress (not that I'm saying people who lose weight for this aren't themselves, it's just how I'd feel).

    I actually had to buy my dress 4 sizes larger and get it sized down to me because that's all they had left. So, I guess it worked out for my mindset of 'I don't care -- if I end up losing, cool' -- attitude. However, diets don't work... only lifestyle changes do. So, unless I was willing to do an entire lifestyle change -- I wasn't going to put myself through more stress to stare at a scale and worry.

    • Reply
  • L
    Devoted August 2019
    Leaves232 ·
    • Flag
    I only tried to gain a little weight for my wedding because my sternum looked bony in my v-neck dress.
    • Reply
  • Haley
    Expert October 2020
    Haley ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Definitely my same point of view!

    • Reply
  • Gabrielle
    Devoted January 2020
    Gabrielle ·
    • Flag
    I’m not purposely trying to lose weight for our wedding, but I’ve definitely lost a few pounds just from stressing so much over the details of our day :/ I’m only slightly annoyed about losing the weight because when I bought my dress (off the rack) it fit me perfectly and I didn’t need to have any alterations except hemming and a modesty piece. But now I have to have it taken in a little bit so it doesn’t fall down (it’s strapless). And my mom has definitely asked me if I plan on losing weight for the big day, like it’s expected. So yeah, I relate with part of your experience. I have no problems with people who want to lose weight for their big day. I mean, a big reason we buy regal, exquisite, beautiful dresses for this day is so that we feel as beautiful as our future husbands see us already.
    • Reply
  • Brianna N
    Super October 2019
    Brianna N ·
    • Flag

    I think this is a great post. I always see the ones saying "losing weight for the wedding", etc... and it just makes me sad. Your FS proposed to you and loves you for who you are, not some ideal weight you think you should be. I am all about being healthy and if people want to use their engagement as a jump start for living a healthier lifestyle, I think that is great! But starving yourself and buying a dress too small to try and fit into the stereotypical "perfect body weight" is so sad to me.

    • Reply
  • M
    Expert September 2020
    Marcia ·
    • Flag
    I was already losing weight when I got engaged so I’ve continued. For me it’s not looks, but blood pressure problems.

    I agree about buying a smaller dress and trying to lose to fit it. Seems like a recipe for disaster to me.
    • Reply
  • B
    Dedicated October 2020
    beee ·
    • Flag
    Thank you!!!! I hate diet culture. You don’t hear about men feeling pressure to “look their best” (*eyeroll*) on their wedding day so we do we as women have to face that?! I see so many women on this forum that are quick to recommend weight loss programs for brides that aren’t feeling confident when we should be encouraging them to find the confidence at their current shape/size!!!
    • Reply
  • Katie
    Dedicated October 2019
    Katie ·
    • Flag
    I tried to lose weight more for health reasons (I'm 20 pounds over my ideal healthy weight), but I made sure my dress was my average size. It's too stressful to purposefully make a dress size a goal lol
    • Reply
  • 2d Bride
    Champion October 2009
    2d Bride ·
    • Flag

    You are being very sensible. People who know and love you aren't going to suddenly stop when they see you are the same size you've been all along. From a health perspective, dieting for just one day is a bad idea. And buying a dress several sizes too small sets you up for misery shortly before your wedding if you don't lose the weight (which most women don't).

    • Reply
  • Amber
    Rockstar February 2020
    Amber ·
    • Flag

    I'm choosing to lose weight for health reasons. I'm not fat, but I'm not in shape either. I want to be the best me I can be when I start my marriage. Yes, FH loves me just the way I am. But if you can't go up a flight of stairs without being out of breath, you should make lifestyle changes, which is why I'm doing it. We live in a society where we say everyone is beautiful the way they are (which I do agree with), but that doesn't mean everyone is healthy the way they are. I'm just tired of living in denial and making excuses about not exercising regularly and getting in shape, so the wedding is motivating me to do that.

    • Reply
  • Cyndy
    Rockstar May 2019
    Cyndy ·
    • Flag
    Good for you! Your FH loves you for you. But the correct size and be who you are. Love this attitude!!
    • Reply
  • Kelly
    Champion October 2018
    Kelly ·
    • Flag
    It’s just dumb diet culture. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to add more fruits and vegetables to your diet or drink more water or get more sleep so you feel your best. But I need to lose x number of pounds to be at x weight is silly. People get way too focused on an arbitrary number. Good for you for not giving into that!
    • Reply
  • Chandra
    Master May 2019
    Chandra ·
    • Flag
    I had wanted to but then decided it was more stressful and would upset me more if tried and failed. After all, Hubby loves me regardless of what the scale says.
    • Reply
  • Haley
    Expert October 2020
    Haley ·
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    View Quoted Comment

    Yessss I totally agree!

    • Reply
  • Haley
    Expert October 2020
    Haley ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    It's just so weird to me that people would ask "are you losing weight for the wedding?" in the same tone they're asking what shoes I'm wearing hahaha

    • Reply
  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
    • Flag
    My husband lost weight “for the wedding” since he was an unhealthy weight to begin with but he was struggling to motivate himself to lose it. When he realized how unhappy he was with how he looked in our engagement photos, it was an epiphany for him that he didn’t want to look like that in our wedding photos (and just in general). So I wouldn’t say he really lost weight “for the wedding” because he needed to lose weight anyway for health reasons... but the wedding was just a really good motivator and a good deadline to hold himself to 🤷🏻‍♀️

    But I agree if it’s just about appearances for the one day, I think THATS a tad silly, and you’re great to be happy with how you look!
    • Reply

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