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Super July 2018

not inviting biological father (rant kind of)

Desiree, on December 7, 2015 at 3:25 AM Posted in Wedding Attire 0 6

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So pretty much every girls dream is to have their father walk them down the aisle then of course give them away. But, my dad has pretty much been mia my whole life. I've always been the one to put myself out there and reach out to him without any continuous improvement or communication on his part. So I saw my half sister recently and let her know he is not walking me down the aisle nor is he invited, but she is. I refuse to give him the satisfaction of seeing me on my best day when he has never been there for me on my worst. I'm sure he's upset by this. My grandma (his mom) who I am extremely close to says I should be the bigger person blah blah, but like I said been there done that, talking to her gets me nowhere. My mom also agrees with my decision, but came up with my brothers father (her ex husband who raised me pretty much) as the perfect candidate, him and I aren't as close anymore (long story) , but he's as close to a father figure I have ever had.

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6 Comments

Latest activity by JaKLyn, on December 7, 2015 at 8:21 AM

Savvy May 2016
MonkeysMama · on December 7, 2015 at 6:00 AM
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I have been through a LOT of fathers. None of them are invited to my wedding. It is really important that you do what feels right for you. Regardless of mom or grandma guilt trips. Your wedding is about starting your life with your partner, not about having to be the bigger person to people with whom you don't have a close relationship.
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Master October 2015
Pancakes · on December 7, 2015 at 6:56 AM
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I am not close with my father and always imagined I would walk myself down the aisle, and I did. My friend also had her stepdad walk her down the aisle. Her bio dad declined the invite and was being really crappy to her. I'm glad he wasn't there to sour her day. Her stepdad ( who she just calls dad) made the most beautiful speech. He's so great to her.
The point is, it doesn't have to be your bio dad to walk your down the aisle. It should be the person you want, not just the blood relative.
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Master August 2016
Kimi · on December 7, 2015 at 7:28 AM
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It's not true that every girl dreams of having her father walk her down the aisle. Neither my biological father (who I have met one time & don't even know where he is) or my step-dad (who raised & adopted me) are going to be at my wedding. My step-dad and I haven't spoken in over 15 years (he's a "poor, pitiful me" alcoholic). I am walking halfway down the aisle by myself, then FH is meeting me and we finish together (just like our lives).
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Expert May 2016
Erin · on December 7, 2015 at 7:40 AM
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I understand and support your decision to not have your biological father walk you down the isle. That's a social role for someone to play, choose someone who you know has been there and will be there for you for the rest of your life. Heck, it doesn't even necessarily need to be a male. Have your mom walk you! It's your big day!
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Super July 2018
Desiree · on December 7, 2015 at 8:05 AM
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The subject of my father is a touchy one but I am glad I have so many who can relate and share their experiences. @Lmac I always have the what if moments when it comes to him and my FH says he should at least be invited. I don't think he gets the nature of our relationship so he tries to change my mind on contacting him simply off the fact that he was adopted and would have loved to meet his bio parents. But, I'm not gonna lose sleep because I know for a fact I did everything I could. Thanks everyone.
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Master November 2015
JaKLyn · on December 7, 2015 at 8:21 AM
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I can't stand my dad, so he wasn't invited to the wedding. I had both of my grandfather's walk me down the aisle since they're the best father-figure role models I had growing up, and they both love DH. If they would've declined I'd have just walked myself.
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