Not invited to wedding/B-list

Sorry don't go to either that's very rude

Kind of seems like she doesn't care as much about you imo. But its up to you if your too hurt don't go. I totally understand. It sounds exactly like they b listed you which is so rude of people to do.

That's extremely rude. You have every right to feel the way you do about being B-listed. I would decline both.

Oh gosh this is so rude. I wouldn't go to either if I were you. I would send a card and explain why I'm not coming and how hurt I was to be b listed like this.

It does suck you were b listed but there is no sense dwelling on it. Try to put it past you. The numbers add up quickly (plus you may have had a plus one so that's 2 people). It sucks the line is drawn and you were on the other side. But try not to let that ruin all the years of the past.

I don't think I'd go to a shower on my birthday - that's an easy excuse for you assuming you'll be going out with friends or otherwise engaged. Eta:typo

She invited your brother-in-law's aunt before she invited her only aunt?

Yeah, I wouldn't go. But don't let this get you down! Don't let other people's rudeness weigh on you.

@Natalie- Wouldn't that be rude as well? I'm not sure what this would accomplish. If you really do want to confront them over your feelings being hurt, do it in person not written down and definitely not disguised as a wedding card.

Sorry I didn't mean on the wedding card.

Ah, ok just a note? I think with the timing though they would just expect it to be congratulatory.

The only thing I can think of is a passive aggressive comment but I hate those. Something like "oh I wish I could have been there on your day but when I didn't get invited I made other plans so I wouldn't be so sad I was left out." Seems silly once you say thay out loud amd super petty. Be the bigger person. It was definitely rude so you are right to be offended but chin up and set a good example so she can continue to look up to her aunt.

Wow, just wow.

I wouldn't go to either if I were you.

No. Do not attend the shower. That's absolutely ridiculous.

Thanks everyone, I won't be saying anything about it. I just felt a little guilty for being upset over it. My family acts like it's nothing. I'm Internet venting a bit! I am going to make a point to invite them all to my daughter's wedding one day. I wouldn't have been a plus one, either. I was single at the time.

Was that the bride or her mother, so you don't get along with, that made the decisions? I would honestly talk to your niece about it, perhaps she isn't aware of her mother's shenanigans

Mrs.A, I wouldn't put the bride on the spot in this situation. It's triangling, and not a good idea.

I love FutureMrsP's advice. Spend your time with those that value you, Andi.

@CD there are times when people should be called out on their rudeness, in this situation I wouldn't talk to the niece but maybe the sister who hates her and is likely calling the shots here. It's ok to let someone know that their actions hurt you.

The fact that you were b-listed but then still invited to the shower sounds so gift grabby.

If I were you I'd neither attend nor send a gift. Maybe just a nice congratulatory card and note....maybe

But then again if you think this is your sisters doing and not your niece, maybe don't take it out on her and send a gift but I wouldn't attend.

I wouldn't go. I was B listed once and felt uncomfortable attending.

Im so sorry, that really sucks. I think you handled it well and should not attend. Do something fun for your birthday.

Wow, that is very rude. I wouldn't go to the shower either if I were you.