Not invited to friend's wedding, but she is coming to mine. What is the gift etiquette?

I think it is a nice thought.

Maybe wait until after wedding and send a card saying congratulations.

Yeah that's kind of weird. She might take it as you being passive aggressive.

I don't think it would be strange. When my cousin eloped, the entire family got them wedding presents anyway.

But i agree with Kathryn, it might be best to send after the wedding as a congratulations, sending it before might make her feel guilty for not inviting you. (although that might be just me overthinking it)

I would send it after the wedding as a congrats like PP's have suggested

I think it'd be nice! But I also agree to wait until after her wedding.

People do send wedding presents when they are not invited. Not weird.

I think it's a nice thought. I got a STD for a friend of mine and couldn't make it to the wedding. I never received a formal invitation but I bought them a small gift anyway.

It is totally normal to send a gift or card of congratulations even if not invited.

I agree with PP that it is perfectly acceptable to send a gift even though you weren't invited, but to send it after the wedding.

Thanks everyone, this is very helpful. She is getting married tomorrow, so I will send something next week. It definitely crossed my mind that it could be taken by the bride as me being passive aggressive, which is why i wasn't sure what to do. Thanks again everyone.

I think that's a very nice thing of you to do, not weird at all.

I agree with @OG Kathryn - I'd wait until after the wedding and send a card!

We got a few gifts from older family friends who weren't invited and I panicked! I called my mom to ask if they thought they were invited or if they were just being "kind grown ups"

You're so kind! I concur with others who stated wait until after the wedding.

No invite, no gift. Obviously the feeling isn't mutual between you and her.

Nice, jeanette. That's totally unnecessary.

I say gift after.

I wouldn't send a gift. To me, it will come off as passive aggressive. After the wedding the next time you see them you can just congratulate them

I think that is very kind of you. If you want to send her a gift, go for it!

I think you can get her a small gift either for her shower (assuming it hasn't already passed) or just something like a picture frame or gift card.

I think giving presents is just as rewarding as receiving them (sometimes, anyways), so if you feel in your heart that you want to give a present, I say go for it. If she perceives it as passive aggressive like some people are suggesting, then that's her baggage to deal with, not yours. You know you have good intentions, so don't worry about it.