Not going to brother's wedding?

I don't see why he should ditch his wife to "save the relationship" with a family who treats her like garbage. If my husband chose his family who verbally abuses me over me, I would be VERY hurt. Then he would have to worry about repairing the relationship with me.

What does you wife think? That would help me in making the decision.

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My wife is a super positive person, and super happy. So she thinks it's my choice and she will support me either way, but my being there for her at these races she competes in is customary and I have made signs to hold up in the stands for her and be her "fan" at theses events that mean the world to her.
I'll just be miserable at the wedding anyway, they all talk poorly about my wife to me even if she isn't there. Me and her still can't figure out why my entire family hates her, my wife is such a kind person.

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Then decision made! Go be with your wife!

My advice is this ...
Your wife is your family,and all the family that you need! I say the hell with your brother and his childish ways!!

I wouldn't go to a wedding my FH wasn't invited/welcomed to attend.. And he absolutely would not go if the guests in attendance hated my guts!

Sometimes we have to cut ties with volatile family members for the sake of living a happier life ourselves.

I don't know your situation in detail, but if it was my family talking badly about the person I love and have chosen to spend my life with, I would not go and I would cut ties with those who are talking that way about my SO.

When reading the posts and deciding on whether or not you should go, I would say ask yourself, "am okay with no longer having a relationship with my brother?" If the answer is yes, then go with your wife to her race. If the answer is no, then I would go to the wedding without your wife (I think your wife should go to her race regardless, it's important and it sounds like your family isn't nice to her anyway). I think if you don't go, it would cause more issues between the two of you, and chances are you might not be able to repair those issues. Also realize that all family events will probably be awkward from here on out because they will judge you for not going to your brother's wedding. It will also probably make the verbal abuse against your wife worse, because they will probably see her as the reason you are not going and blame her. It could get the point where you can no longer be around your family. I am a believer that just because someone is family, if they are toxic and negative in your life, you should be able to cut them out of your life guilt free. No one should treat you or the ones you love poorly. I think the question you should be asking yourself is not whether or not you want to go to your brother's wedding, but whether or not you really want to maintain a relationship with your toxic family.

View Quoted Comment Exactly this.

I would absolutely not celebrate the marriage of a couple who disrespects my own marriage.

I would go to the wedding. Despite everything.