Not going to brother's wedding?

Personally, I think you should be going to your brother's wedding. It sounds like there are many other issues that aren't being brought up in this post, but just based on the post and some of the "holes", I don't think the "issues" are a "one way street".

If you decide not to go, it will cause further issues in the future that your family may not be able to get over. You need to sit down and weigh the pros and cons of this decision.

I don't think you should go. Your family shouldn't treat your wife they way they are and they need to learn that there are consequences for the way they treat people. Plus, this race sounds very important for your wife so she shouldn't drop out of it just because your brother didn't check with VIPs (you are his brother so it is assumed you would be a VIP) to see if the date worked

I know this probably isn't what you want to hear, but you should go even if it's without your wife. I don't think it was necessary to tell him you needed a break from his clinginess, rather you could have just disconnected for a little while. Granted, name calling and harassment is uncalled for, but I don't see why you would decline going to his wedding because he's clingy? Between that conversation and the wedding I assume was a few months where you could have taken a break from him? It sounds like there's a bunch of things missing here.

Your wife has run in many races before, like you said...your brother gets married once. I understand you wanting to support her, but it sounds like you haven't been very supportive of your brother.

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This exactly

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It doesn't sound like his brother and family haven't been very supportive of him either

Once you get married, your wife becomes your priority.

I personally wouldn't attend someone's wedding - family or not - that disrespected my FH. You are not a team, you look out for one another forever.

My entire family and my brother hate my wife and would rather she not exist at all in my life. My brother is also extremely violent, when we told him to give us some space he blew up in a rage because he can't handle hearing no, we were also trying to rekindle our marriage at the same time and I tired to let him know I can't hang out with him for a long time. If that helps with the plot hole

I would still go, despite all of the issues. It's your brother's wedding.

Blood doesn't make family. Actions do

I would try to find out the issue of why they hate your wife. If its something they are willing to get over and learn to love her then I would try to go to the wedding. If they are not willing to budge I wouldn't go.

Only you know your relationship with your brother enough to really answer this question.

If you go to his wedding, do you have a chance to repair your relationship with your brother? Do you have a chance of him stopping his harassment of your wife? Do you want to repair the relationship with him?

If you decline then you run the chance of cutting off your brother, his soon-to-be wife, and anyone else who takes their side from your lives.

Once you get married, your wife becomes priority; I absolutely think you're making the right decision. Especially based on how he has treated you and your wife thus far

I wouldn’t entertain a relationship with anyone, family or not, who verbally abused my spouse/SO. I actually have no relationship with my sister for a very similar reason. If I were you, I wouldn’t attend, but this is a personal decision and only you can decide what you want out of your relationship with your family.

I don't think it matters who is right or who is wrong. Ultimately, it comes down to whether or not you want a relationship with your brother at any point in the future. If you do, I think you'll regret not attending his wedding. Personally, I think you should attend alone and your wife can still attend this race. Your brother will hopefully only get married once but, your wife will run many races. If you choose not to attend I would be prepared for your brother to completely cut you out of his life and to sever any relationship the two of you have.

Well, to all those saying he should go, I, personally, would not go to a place or event where people are going be abusive towards my spouse, whether I was bringing my spouse or not. End of story.

Mike, thanks for being a great husband and backing up your wife!

I think it's easy for us to say you should or should not go because we have our own levels of what we will and will not tolerate.

I think that if you are ok with not going to the wedding, and ready to accept any consequences that could arise from that decision, then you should not go to the wedding. You know what is going on in your life better than we ever could. Personally I wouldn't attend any events or socialize with anyone who harassed my husband.

I am not going to my sister's wedding because it is a DW and I simply cannot afford to go, even if I went without my husband and kids. I am not happy about it, I think my sister is mad at me, but I can't help the decision I had to make. I had to accept the consequences and move on. I'm sure there are others here that will disagree with me and say that I could find the money if I really wanted or whatever, but I know what my limitations are. It sucks, but you have to do what is best for you and your family, which is your wife.

I think it's wonderful you are backing your wife. I feel like a lot of spouses let their families run over their husband/wife and that's absolutely not ok. I wouldn't go. Plain and simple. BUT you also need to get down to the root of the problem: your family not liking your wife. Now I don't know the full details or how long this has been an issue, but I would definitely try to work things out with them and if they still aren't supportive, then there is your ultimate answer. At the end of the day, your wife is your family and y'all's relationship is what matters the most.

My advice would be for you to attend the wedding and your wife to attend the race. I've run a lot of races and having someone with you really isn't necessary. However, if your primary reason for not going is how your family disrespects you and your wife, I am completely in support of that. I would just use that as the reason for you missing, not the race.

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I completely agree.

Your wife is your first priority. I don't think you should go because of the way your brother and family treat your wife. You need to have her back and stand your ground that it's not acceptable to treat her that way. Going to the wedding seems to make the statement that their behavior is acceptable. I personally couldn't continue a relationship with anyone who treated my spouse that way.