Not feeling like a wedding😔

Is there anything that you feel is missing that would make it feel more like a wedding as opposed to a family dinner? Such as, a DJ, a wedding party, going dress shopping, a photographer, etc? If so, I would recommend talking to your fiance and seeing if you can fit the items that you want into the budget so that the day feels special for both of you!

I would be straight forward with him. I was with my FH. Do things within reason to make you both. Have some games for guests to play, get a dance floor for music if you want, have a wedding cake. Look up backyard weddings...there are ways to make the day nice.

I am going dress shopping (budget is not a issue as of now we are way under what we set). As of now we are getting married on Halloween next year in his Dad's spectacular backyard, no music, no wedding party, immediate family only putting us at less then 25 guests and he wants to ask his brother in law to grill burgers for the reception. I guess I feel guilty because I agreed to have a wedding because he wanted to (I would be happy to go to the court house)but he not really liked anything we have talked about to make it more wedding like.

View Quoted Comment He keeps saying wedding like he doesn't know the difference between on abd a family dinner...

View Quoted Comment Instead of grilled burgers, you could always hire a caterer! That way, no one attending the wedding has to cook, and it will feel a little more formal. You could also find some fun decorations or lights and such to hang around the area to make it feel a little more festive.

I would definitely suggest hiring a cater or even just ordering food so that no one is cooking. That will help with the feeling. Also music and some light dancing will make it more wedding and not family cook out.

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Ahhhh okay here is rule #1 about planning a wedding with men...they know nothing and will most likely not be as interested as the woman lol. My FH wanted a courthouse. The two things he has invested most interest in is the cake and the honeymoon lol. All other planning is on me. Weddings tend to be more important to women (some men too) because we have dreamt of this day so to him that could be what he thinks and is okay with that. He sounds very chill. I am having a microwedding with three guests one of whom is my MOH. Here is how I am making it wedding lie for me:

- 2 tier cake with the flavors we both loved (doing it more from him but we both did love the flavors we chose and we both agree two tier looks great for pics and we can save the top tier for our anniversary)

- I am walking in to a song and we are exiting to a song as well.

- Hired two photographers because pictures are super important to me.

- He is wearing a three piece suit and I am wearing a wedding dress...not an elopement dress lol.

- The officiant will add a bit of decoration and we will still do a short ceremony.

- Afterwards if things stay open (although in my state they most likely will lol) we are taking our two friends for a rooftop dinner (he does not know that but he has wanted to go to this plae for a long time...my surprise to him) where we will have a canopy cabana all to ourselves and we will sit, eat and drink and chill)

Ways to make it bridal for you: get the wedding cake you want, get the photographers you want, wear the dress you want, have the ceremony where you want (a beautiful venue for amazing feel and pics), afterwards have a chill reception. Maybe he does not like dancing but does not mean you cannot have music and room for some people to dance. Maybe have some fun activities for guests to participate in. Think more house party or something. What do you envision to make it feel like a wedding?

View Quoted Comment I am trying to get him to let us do a catering option but we are very limited as we live in his hometown(cotton farming)of less than 3,000 people we literally have 3 restaurant and one happens to be attached to the local truck stop.

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I understand that! I am having the same issue with finding a cater for my wedding and I am thinking I am going to have to pay for the cater to just travel so I can have decent food. Some restaurants may not cater per say but you could order trays of food and set it up buffet style?

View Quoted Comment I like the sound of yours will be fun. I would honestly prefer to go to the court house but he is absolutely set on not going but doesn't want to do anything to work on adding anything to make it more wedding like after the small ceremony I don't know if it makes much difference that out of the 25 family guests I woll only have my two boys and my mother eveyone else if his immediate family so I can see how its more family mealtime but what can I do when he wants to keep a small guest list.

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You can still do a nice wedding even with a small amount of people. I think you do need to sit down and talk to him and compromise. I can tell he has his mindset of what he wants but I think it is fair to tell him that you want this to feel like a wedding as well. You two could do a courthouse wedding with a larger party at your place. My FH and I differed on how we wanted to marry but we sat and compromised. He was cool with me inviting my big brother who has been the man in my life before him and it is important to have him there. He had the idea of inviting my best friend and her husband but we agreed on things to make it cool for both of us. Truthfully our deal was let me do the ceremony how I want (within reason) and he can do the honeymoon how he wants and it has been great. He has been super invested in it lol. Look up microweddings for some ideas but I think you should make a list of how could this feel like a wedding to you and share that with him and see where you both can agree. https://www.wedding-spot.com/blog/micro-wedding-ideas

View Quoted Comment That maybe something to see if he will go for with us being an hour away from the nearest lage city.

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It is at least a better option to make it seem different than what they do normally for family get togethers!

View Quoted Comment I understand that and I think that would be best to sit down and try and hash it out because at this point I'm ready to say forget this all together and just have a common law marriage here in Texas because he will not do a courthouse thing and I really didn't want to do a wedding to start with but agreed because he said he wanted one but. I'm trying not to get an attitude because he's now basically wanting to do the samething his family does once a month anyway just with my few family members included this time around. I feel horrible because I feel like I'm being a spoiled brat for wanting us to do it more traditional if we are going to label it as a wedding like he is all while tell me he just wants me to be happy.

View Quoted Comment That was my hope with it being on Halloween

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It's possible just make sure you have open communication with your FH and just tell him how you are feeling.

View Quoted Comment Thanks for the advice hopefully it will help.

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Of course! I hope it does too!

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Well we as women have imagined this day. I see it like this, I know women that have made their husbands have the big, elaborate wedding so I feel like you are not asking to break the bank. I think it is normal that most couples differ of how they want their wedding but you gotta compromise. I would definitely think of what you constitutes as a wedding as that varies bride to bride. For me it was not the after the ceremony but it was the ceremony itself. I didn't want a courthouse and even if only us two eloping I did not want just a simple white dress I can buy at the store. I wanted a wedding dress, a bouquet and I wanted photographers taking pictures and an officiant to marry us even if in a short ceremony. I am able to get a little bit more with I did everything within reason of what my FH wants too.

My first wedding was small with just 7 of us, beachside and we had our reception at our favorite restaurant.


You can still have a wedding without all the big details and it be even more beautiful.