Not engaged yet!

I think your first step should be to have a conversation with your SO about marriage. FH and I discussed marriage very quickly into our relationship. If he’s never talked about marriage with you, how do you know he even wants to get married?

We have talked about it. Since my brother wedding is coming up that is kinda why I’m haveing the “fever” and he doesn’t have much to say on the subject except yes he does want to get married one day.... I don’t know how other to approach him except say do you wanna get married one day?

I wouldn't go further than "pinterest planning." Save some ideas for decor/colors that you like, and other kind of vague things. You don't want to have your heart set on a specific venue and it goes out if business or is out of your price range.

You said you and your partner started living together after 4 months. How long have you been together?

One year and 7 months.

My FH just proposed to me last week but I’ve been planning our wedding for at least a few months lol. I think if you’ve had a conversation that getting married is where you’re heading I don’t think it’s a bad thing. Now mind you we were marriage minded to begin with and we’re dating with the intention that marriage was the goal.

He's not ready. I know this stuff is exciting but if you want him to propose, let it happen naturally. You've talked about it now and while he did say he wants to get married some day, he hasn't said "Let's do it". I would not plan anything, even Pinterest stuff and let the relationship run the way it will. Maybe in some years if he still hasn't popped the questions, revisit whether you two have the same visions.

Why would you want to spend your time planning an imaginary wedding (at this point)? I can think of so many more important things to focus on in your life, until you’re engaged lol. Two people in a relationship need to discuss these crucial points (like living together, marriage, kids, finances, life goals etc) together. One person dreaming about something on their own without this discussion, is not what makes for a successful longterm relationship.

I obviously don’t know anything about your relationship besides what you wrote here, but from it, it sounds like he is not on the same page as you about marriage, at least at this point. And being married once, you know that just getting married is not all it takes for a good, longterm relationship.

Have a talk with him about your future & what you want & see where that takes you.

I would definitely wait until you are actually engaged. Nothing wrong with some Pinterest ideas now, but wait until you are engaged to get his input as it would be his wedding as well.

I understand having wedding fever. This will be our first marriage for both my FH and I, and we got engaged on our six year anniversary. We had talked about marriage; about what each of us want and expect, and about waiting until I finished my degree. I actually thought he was going to propose when I graduated because he took me to a fancy restaurant and told me he planned to go on a carriage ride, but they weren’t operating that night so instead we walked around downtown to enjoy the Christmas lights. He had a plan already though and if I had pushed him it wouldn’t have been the same.
Enjoy your relationship now, enjoy being together and going out and doing things. My best advice is to give it time, let it come naturally, because forcing it is more likely to drive a wedge between the two of you than to end up anywhere you want. If he’s the one and you’re the one, there’s no rush, neither of you are going anywhere. If there’s a reason other than you just have wedding fever, like wanting kids, talk to him about it. The more you both communicate where you’re at and what you want the easier it’ll be to be on the same page.
As far as wedding planning or “pre-planning,” avoid it. Use Pinterest for ideas if you want, but so much can change so quickly and things you like today you may not like anymore (or he may not like and it is his wedding too.) You’re not going to save yourself any time or stress by trying to pre-plan, you’re just going to waste your time and energy now and still have to do everything again when the time comes.

Go pinterest crazy for sure... But talk with him before going any further. This might sound as a red flag to him if he hasn't thought about it and all... Not saying is weird or creepy cause let's be honest.... We all do this BUT you know...

Pinterest, oogling themes, looking at the "real weddings" section on WW, sure.
But do not get attached and do not decide anything until you're actually engaged. You never know what will happen so you don't want to get attached or spend money before you have an engagement. Like many have said he's clearly not ready and he shouldn't be rushed. Enjoy the early romance of your relationship, work on building a good foundation.
When my fiance and I were at that point we started going over the counseling type questions you'd see in premarital stuff to get an idea how well we'd do, and where we'd need help. Those are maybe a bit boring but will certainly be useful for a relationship

View Quoted Comment If you have been dating 4 months it is super
early. If you push to heard he may get over whelmed and leave

I dated a got for 2.5 years. I thought he was the one. We had talked marriage, had kids' names picked out, and I was doing all this research into weddings based on what we had talked about. Then, one day, he told me he didn't love me anymore. It took me another five years before I met my now-FH. When we talked marriage and weddings, it was a totally different experience. He would bring things up, too. My questions were less leading. It was a conversation, and one we both feel comfortable and confident in. Once he moved in with me, then I really started researching again. Our vision for our wedding was totally different than my previous ideas. Instead of a winery or somewhere on the bay, we decided on a city wedding. None of the venues I'd researched before worked, and some had closed. Wedding dress styles have changed. Vendors I liked before have moved or retired, and new ones have caught my eye.

All of that is to say that I wouldn't start any sort of actual planning beyond playing around on Pinterest until you and he have had an honest, open conversation about getting married and what you both want out of that marriage.

View Quoted Comment No we haven’t it’s been a year and 7 months I was dating him for 4 months before we move in with each other

View Quoted Comment Ohh sorry lol. I would still let him come to it himself

I think it wouldn't be bad for you to have a bunch of pins in Pinterest and an idea for yourself on what you want. As in, it's not bad for you to dream and think about it. A lot of girls have a vision to what they'd want for their wedding someday. I agree with what other PPs have said in that don't plan concrete details like actual venues and stuff. You can of course just brainstorm cute ideas and stuff though.

Yeah I’d just cruise around on Pinterest and keep Pinterest boards for ideas (they can get very detailed)! I thought I would marry my ex of 4 years and I had a secret Pinterest board for fun during that time. Now I’m marrying someone else (someone much better suited for me lol) and I see that previous Pinterest board and my ideas are entirely different! All that’s changed my vision is time. Different theme, colors, season, cake type, COMPLETELY different dress, even down to my “dream wedding ring” that I was SOOO sure about. I think we all love to plan and weddings are so exciting! Just pin in secret like the rest of us and I think your safe When the time comes, that Pinterest board will come in handy.

As most women do, over the years I had plans in my head (I've never gotten into Pinterest) about my wedding. I had a couple of "dream" dresses, venue locations, decor ideas, etc. Well, the wedding I'm having in July looks absolutely nothing like what I'd ever envisioned. Dress, locations, decor, guests, even season. I never wanted to get married in the summer, but for many reasons, it made sense. Things can change a lot when you are actually at the point of putting money into the planning process. And depending on your FH, he may have a vision for his wedding. Then you need to combine both visions. As pp said, you can have ideas, but don't be too sold on anything. There are too many influences on the planning process that aren't in play until you're actually engaged.

I see no harm in Pinterest planning ideas, but definitely do not get your heart set on anything or put down any money on anything until there is an engagement ring on that finger.

Nothing wrong with dreams, but you don't want to be disappointed if things don't head that way.

I wouldn't plan anything until you are officially engaged.
I would let things play out naturally.

But, if marriage is your long term goal and you don't think it is his... I would not wait around because he is your "one".
I got engaged after 2 years and 3 months of dating, but he had the ring six months prior.

We talked about marriage long before moving in together. I would not have moved in with him if I had any questions at all about if we would get married....the only question in my mind was when....and I knew I wouldn't be content just living together indefinitely.

It's a slippery slope for sure.
I would hold off on the planning, if I was you.

Sorry, I couldn't give more encouragement...but, I don't want you to get hurt in the long run.