Rockstar October 2022

Not close to immediate family

Michelle, on July 29, 2021 at 2:12 PM Posted in Community Conversations 0 8
Is anyone else in this situation? I notice many posts say some variation of “don’t invite friends, limit it to immediate family only “. If you aren’t close to those people, it sounds like, even if the intention is in a good place, that you’re between a rock and a hard because you don’t fit into that demographic so what do you do then? In that case, do the friends become the family? I can’t speak for anyone else, but aside from my sister and a friend who adopted me as one of her kids (not legally of course), I’m not close to immediate family. I’m closer to extended relatives and friends who are like brothers and sisters.

If you are in this boat, how are you navigating the waters?


Latest activity by Shadia, on September 14, 2021 at 5:06 AM
  • Jessi
    Expert October 2022
    Jessi ·
    • Flag

    I could be in the minority here, but when I read that I don't take it to mean "mom, dad, siblings, etc." but more to mean whoever you consider your immediate family to be. I'm also not in the boat where I'm no contact with my family or anything like that though, so I can understand how wording like that could make some feel excluded.

    • Reply
  • Emilia
    Expert June 2019
    Emilia ·
    • Flag

    Hello ! At my wedding, I had only my mum and a cousin, I invited her just because she was the only one to come visit to my parents when everyone else just forgot... My dad and my grandma couldn't come as they were already sick. So... in 53 people there were only 2 from my family, the rest were friends. I prefer that than inviting people who would love to have me paying them a trip to France even though they wouldn't even recognise me at the airport...

    • Reply
  • Dawn
    Devoted March 2022
    Dawn ·
    • Flag

    My fiance has a huge family. His family alone makes up about 70 people (plus some of their plus ones) of our 225 person wedding.

    Only 3 people from my family are invited, and only 1 will show up (my dad, who I only reconnected with about 4-5 years ago) I have no contact with my dad's family, and no contact with my mother or anyone on her side, except for my grandparents on her side, who are invited but will not come because they don't want to "take sides" since I'm not inviting my mother.

    But my fiance's family is wonderful and loving and accepting, and my friends are more my family than those blood related to me. My friends are the people I wouldn't be able to get married without

    • Reply
  • Danielle
    Savvy August 2021
    Danielle ·
    • Flag
    My parents passed away and I'm not in contact with my stepmother and her family anymore. The only "family" coming on my end is my brother. The rest of my side is my family of choice who have stood by myside in this life and had my back when no one else did. Family is what you make it not always be blood and Ill take my crew/family any day. They are all coming and are celebrating with us.
    • Reply
  • Samantha
    Rockstar October 2022
    Samantha ·
    • Flag
    Of course you should invite your friends!
    I think people say that because they are trying to cut the guest list or something.
    Please invite the people who love you to the wedding if you have room on the guest list!
    • Reply
  • Rebecca
    Master August 2019
    Rebecca ·
    • Flag

    At this point my immediate family, as defined by society, is limited to my father, my stepmother, and my husband. (And my ILs.)

    The other people I share DNA with are famously not talking to me.

    On the other hand, FRAMILY, as defined by our circle, are throwing us a baby shower on Sunday and includes not only my ILs (and my family on zoom), but our closet friends - those who were at the wedding, and whom we trust with our lives.

    "Family" is a very nebulous term.

    • Reply
  • Melody
    Expert April 2021
    Melody ·
    • Flag

    Honestly, I say to invite whoever you really want to be there. My husband's only family member in attendance was his mom. He definitely has way more family on his dad's side, but they weren't invited for various reasons. A good number of the guests were friends of his and it was wonderful.

    • Reply
  • Shadia
    Savvy June 2025
    Shadia ·
    • Flag
    It would be nice to invite long lost family members to your wedding if you can afford it. If you are able to contact them, but by no means if they have been bad to you for some reason then don't invite them. Stick to what good family you got.
    • Reply

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