Not allowing single guests to bring a date?

First off, Congrats! I understand your situation about guest lists! I ahve to say that was one of the hardest parts of all the wedding planning I have done so far. Your guests should know from the way you address their invitations. If you are having formal invites with both an outer and inner envelope, then on the inner envelope you should only list that one guest's name. If you were letting them bring dates it would list the guest's name and then say and guest, like "James and Guest." (Or even "James and Date") You could also let family members spread the word tactfully for you by word of mouth. I hope this helps!

I actually called all of my singles before I sent the invitations & explained it to them! Then I said are you comfortable coming alone & everyone but 1 girl said yes they would come alone. The single female even said if all of the RSVP's come back as a yes she would come alone but if we get even one decline could she bring a date? I told her that was a great idea & she did end up bringing a guest but we also knew her guest. If you are close enough with your singles you can try phoning them because sometimes even if you do not write & guest, people still respond with Mary +1 guest & you don't want to deal with that. Best of Luck

When you address the envelop you would write John Doe instead of

John Doe and guest. You are supposed to write on the envelop who's invited. Example I am inviting guests but no children so I would leave out "and family" so they don't think that the kids are invited. Some people won't get it and want to bring the whole family and those will be the ones I will have to call and let them know hey I have to pay per person and we're not inviting the whole family. Be careful saying that because thus far we've got offers from people to pay for other people to come or people paying for their kids to come. I told them all no for one kids don't belong at a wedding especially when it's not set up for them and there will be alcohol. and for the guest who wants to bring a guest the answer was no we don't even know that person. Sometimes you have to be mean to get your point across be prepared for that.

One of the best ideas I have seen someone give on this site is when it comes to people sending back RSVP's with an extra guest is to have someone assigned to calling those people and saying "I am calling to let you know we recieved your RSVP and I see you have marked down that you will be bringing a date. At this time we dont have the space for your guest but if you would like I would be happy to add their name to a list and call you if someone can not come"

I feel this doesnt make you the bad guy, your giving them a chance to still bring a date and a lot of people wont get mad if someone they dont even know is calling them about their RSVP.

I just sent out my invites last week and a friend of mine wrote a plus 1 when I didn't put "and guest" I wish I had read this forum before I sent out my invites. I think it would have been a great idea to call all the singles beforehand and explain.

What I ended up doing is I emailed her and told her how happy I was she was coming but that I wasn't aware she was dating anyone and since I wasn't anticipating her brining someone I did not tally him into the guest count and would she still come and share my special day with me, without a loverboy. I ended the email by saying I will be more than happy to allow you to bring a guest once I get back all the replies and see if room will allow but for now I hope you can come have a great time with all the other singles.

Hopefully you can avoid this awakwardness at all costs. Good luck!

Contacting each single guest individually seems like a good idea. I've heard one rule you could use is don't bring your current bf or gf unless you've been together for over a year. You don't want some total stranger to end up in your pictures and stuff. I think it's totally fair to lay down the law on this one.

Technically a guest should know that they are not invited to bring a guest by the way their envelope is addressed but we all know that not everyone understands that...so, here's one way that you can be a little more clear!

On your RSVP card, you can have a line printed that looks like this:

____ seat(s) have been reserved in your honor

and then you fill in the number. That's pretty clear! Or, if you want to get really fancy, you can even have the reply cards pre-printed with the guest's name so there's no place for them to even add another guest, etc. But the above method is fairly common nowadays, since people can't follow traditional etiquette

HTH!

I am having the same situation. My mom came up with the idea to include a small card that says "Limited Seating. Please RSVP @ 555-5555. This is most likely what I will do. The "limited seating" should give them the hint.

Just venting...my bridesmaid asked if her 15 yr old could bring a date after I had just told her we were on a budget and that my own daughter wasn't allowed to bring her boyfriend. She then told me she would pay for the spot and I told her that that was not the issue if I allowed her son to bring a friend everyone else would wonder why he got to bring someone and no one else did. She got mad and then told me since her older son couldn't make it that I should just let him bring a date...I ended up telling her that she had put me in a bad situation and someone would end up upset I also told her that it was rude of her to put me on the spot.

Please send out some ideas on what to put in the envelopes to let people know, we want you to come, but we don't want you to bring a date (we are only doing this for people without significant others etc. I'm sticking to my budget and I have a specific place in mind that I want so come hell or high water I'm not allowing the extras and I'd prefer to keep it civil.