Non traditional name

We both hyphenated. I am still referred to by my maiden name at work. That is how everyone has known me, so I did not want to disrupt that. Outside of work, I will say my new, hyphenated name. What people choose to call me is up to them. I don't really care.

I absolutely regretted changing my last name the first time around. Firstly, I didn't like my ex husband's last name. Secondly, my name is my name and I don't feel like I should be required to change it. I have very personal feelings about it and I have discussed them with my fiancé in detail. Me wanting to keep my last name does not bother him one bit. He respects my decision. With all of this being said, I have been considering hyphenating my name. But I have reserved feeling about that too LOL

I agree. This is tough yet grey area.

Work was really the only place it was important to me. I'm well established in my career and dropping my maiden name completely just wasn't something I was interested in. Also, I am an only child, so I did not want to drop my maiden name completely because it will end with me. I, like you, did want the same last name as my future children. So hyphenating was kind of our happy median. I think the longer you are married, the less you will care what people call you. I have been married almost 1.5 years and it's easier now to hear just my new (added) last name.

My first marriage we both changed our last names so we used our two original last names without a hyphen. I found the lack of a hyphen a bit of a pain - people who didn’t know us would automatically just use the last name of the two (which was his family name), whereas with a hyphen I think it would have been clearer it was a combined name.

I think the key thing is to be consistent - fine to have one way of referring to yourself professionally and one socially, but it gets complicated (and confusing for others) if you use different names in the same context. And I’d say don’t be afraid to correct people if they make assumptions and get your name wrong - a polite “actually it’s Michelle YourName HisName” is fine.

I kept my name.

Between our theatre careers and my personal preference, it didn't make sense to change. MIL didn't change hers, nor did my stepmom. It's very common nowadays.

I do get snippy with people who try to call us by DH's last name.

We portmanteau'd our names for our wedding hashtags, and some of our friends use that when addressing things to both of us, which is fun.

I'm 100% keeping my name. I don't like his last name for me (it's super Italian and usually difficult for people to spell and pronounce), and changing names sounds like such a hassle. Though after getting engaged, we received cards addressed to the future Mr and Mrs ITALIANname (only from his family, though), and it irked me. Seems like people wouldn't assume a woman will change her name in this day and age, but some definitely still do. Hopefully once they know I'm not, they will keep calling me the same name as I have now, not ITALIANname... it's not that hard to call people by their preferred names, especially if they're family and you interact with them often enough.

One of my colleagues name is HerFirst HerLast HisLast and its not uncommon for people to drop one of the last names (usually HerLast) which she finds really frustrating. I also had a friend where both she and her (now-ex) husband changed their names to FirstName HerLast HisLast, but she reverted back to her maiden name after their divorce and changed her name to her husband's last name only for her second marriage.

I kept my name. I felt like it wouldn't really bother me whether I was addressed by MyFirst MyLast (my name before and after marriage) or MyFirst HisLast (a person who legally doesn't exist). I like his last name, and we have decided any children of ours would have his last name (all the pets get my last name ). However I recently had mail addressed just to me and it was addressed to MyFirst HisLast and it was a bit more off putting than I thought it would be. I honestly wondered whether it was for my husband or for me. We've been married less than a year so I will be interesting to see if/how my feelings change, or how things change if we have kids.

My last name is also 2 last names, no hyphen. Mostly because I changed my name right before the start of the pandemic and when I got my new SS card I saw they made an error and it was too hard to fix at that point. I'm sorta not hating the mistake though.

I made my maiden name a second middle name. I knew i wanted to take his name and keep my maiden name as a middle name, and I had originally planned to drop my original middle name. However, when it came down to it, I was surprisingly emotional about dropping my middle name name. So, I have 4 names!

Normally, I'd be the person to hyphenate or keep my name because I'm all about independence. That said, my last name sucks - it's difficult to spell, difficult to pronounce, and is very easy to read as a bawdy verb so it particularly does not lend itself to hyphenation. I've considered ditching it when I turned 18 but decided to just wait until I got married (not knowing I'd be waiting 16 years!). His last name is pretty basic but it's impossible to misspell or mispronounce and I am looking forward to not having to automatically launch into spelling my name any time I call to make an appointment or something like that!

How did it go, changing his name?