Non-brides in white

I have a question, and I'm genuinely curious, not trying to be snarky. It's known to not wear white, and after reading through this, it seems that should extend to anything remotely close to white. I was surprised to see people say it's rude to even wear a white sweater or a dress with ANY white, even as part of a floral pattern. So my question is...why do people not care about wearing colors similar to the groom? The groomsmen or fathers are often in suits similar to the groom, and it's not a rule (that I'm aware of) that male guests should avoid wearing black or gray. To me, if you didn't know the couple that well, it would be easier to mistake a male guest or groomsman in a gray or black suit for the groom than it would be to mistake a guest with some white in her dress or a white sweater for the bride. So I don't know, saying wearing ANY shade of white on ANY piece of clothing but not caring what male guests wear seems to perpetuate the belief that the wedding is all about the bride, which I don't like. I still wouldn't wear white to a wedding, but that does make me wonder...

@fw2 I think it's not quite the same type of comparison. All guys formal clothes are almost always black, brown, dark blue, grey. There is almost no variation in this. In contrast, women have a variety of types of formal wear to wear (color and style wise). So to deliberately pick something similar to the bride seems to be attention grabby, when there are so many other choices. For example, if a bride wore black, I would not side-eye a guest who was wearing black as well, because that is one of the most common colors of formal wear, and could very well be the person's nicest outfit. Also, a black wedding gown is not super traditional, and I would not expect every guest to know that was the choice the bride had made.

Note: I also don't think that wearing something with white on it anywhere is bad, like a floral with white, or a white sweater. That is just being picky. But wearing a full white dress without any other color? Hmmm. How many people even just casually own a full white dress? Those things get dirty really quickly.

What @Rachel said. Also, traditionally the Groom and GM will have bouts.

I agree that it's a bit much to be upset about it, and my friend who cried had a LOT go wrong that day and honestly I think it was the straw that broke the camel's back. It wasn't in front of everyone or anything, but she had a lot going on.

I told people I don't care if it's white and short, but white and long and I'm going to side eye the person. So yeah, white (or ivory- mine is technically a nude underlay with ivory lace) and long and I'm going to be upset. But I have lots of white/ivory/white patterned short dresses and I wouldn't be upset about that. Although that would be a slightly weirder choice for a winter wedding in my opinion. Summer wedding I can see it.

@fw2L210 Exactly what Rachel said. Also, I am one of those who have the strongest of opinions on this (really, I am aware it bothers me more than it should), but even I don't think ANY white should be banned. If it's an outfit of two or more pieces and one happens to be white, I see no issue and the same goes for patterns. White behind a floral pattern for example or white details/patterns are perfectly acceptable to me. It's the completely white (or super light) dresses that annoy me, especially the floor-length ones.

I sang at a wedding and wore a white and silver dress. The bride didn't have an issue with it. And I certainly wasn't trying to be tacky. I don't think it's that big of a deal.

I think I would be a little upset if someone wear white at our wedding. But hey! I'm still the bride with the veil

I had a girl from work wear white to mine, it was annoying, but I brushed it off quickly. I had enough to worry about and wasn't about to let it ruin my day.

Oh geez, I'm just to old to be upset over silly things like that. I just don't think things like that are a big deal.

A lot of people wouldn't have a problem with it, but I would. I really don't care about the dress/color so much as the fact that everyone knows not wearing white to a wedding is a rule (maybe outdated but still a rule!) and someone going against that is obviously trying to upstage. It's obnoxious, and IMO makes them look bad. A white dress with a pattern would be okay with me though.

I think it's rude. Why take the chance of slightly offending the bride on her and her husbands special day? It's not that hard to find something not white. There are a rainbow of colors to choose from.

In general I would not care, unless it was a person showing up in our photos. I would not cry about it, however. I did have a few guests ask if they could wear black. I said no problem, both had a colored pashmina as an accent.

Omg that is like the one rule everyone knows. If someone violates it they just look ridiculous I think. Even for the rehearsal, so tacky.

My husband's aunt wore a white dress to our wedding and I truly didn't give AF.

It is rude but I wouldn't care one way or another

I guess it's a little weird, yes. But as a bride, I have no doubt I'll be the damn best dressed person in the room and would not sweat a guest showing up in white at all!!

My pastors wife wore white, I was very irritated. When coworkers saw our pics they thought she was my mom or his mom, smh.

It's definitely rude but honestly if someone did it at my wedding, I probably wouldn't even notice. It would be the last thing on my mind.

It really depends on the dress. I generally don't see what the big deal is, but I recently saw some pictures of a wedding on Facebook, and a guest was wearing white lace. I probably wouldn't care at my wedding, but that just looks rude.