No Unity Candle??

We are ... but using a unity puzzle... I mean a marriage is joining two people ... so it doesn't need to be done

I'm not! Just traditional Christian vows. Is a Unity ritual important to you?

I'm not doing any sort of "unity" thing.

FH and I are doing the wine box but not as a part of the ceremony.

We aren't doing any unity ritual for the ceremony

We didn't do any kind of unity ceremony. If you don't want to, you don't have to!

I guess I don't know what the "wine box" is... someone clue me in please?

@Katie no, it is not important to me. I watch a LOT of 4 weddings, lol. there are a lot of unity rituals, and seems the thing to do... though apparently THEME is a thing too, and I am not doing that either ;-) I'm pretty sure I'm being led astray as to what is and is not EXPECTED. We aren't having a large wedding, but will have a short-ish ceremony and a full reception. we are skipping the bouquet/garter thing, and both refuse any kind of fist pumping entrance... but I do worry about the ceremony being TOO short. I mean, the wedding is the ceremony in my opinion... so I just want to get that right.

Yes. what is a wine-box ritual?

We want to do a first fight box. We place love letters in a box with 2 glasses and a bottle of our favorite rum (most people do wine, but hey, we like our tiki drinks). Then we will lock it up. When we have our first big fight, we open it up and remember why we got married in the first place as we have 2 fingers of our favorite spirits.

@Rebecca... oh that sounds very sweet!

Wrist binding and candle lighting are old rituals from certain religions and cultures. You can certainly skip them if they're not a part of your cultural/religious mandates or traditions. I think the sand ceremony thing is relatively recent.

I'm not doing any kind of unity ritual at my ceremony, which is family-only. However, at our friends and family reception, my FH and I are doing a version of the wine blending ceremony after our grand entrance, if you would consider that a unity ritual.

@Sally is it just like what @Rebecca said. It can be either your first fight or on your anniversary. We aren't doing anything. It's gonna be hottttt, say some words, say the vows, kiss, boom done time to party

The ceremony itself is a unity thing, no need for anything else unless you want to.

@Traci thanks! We rarely fight and both think unity candles are well, dated? So we decided to do this. We may have our mothers put the letters in the boxes for us so they feel like they are a part of something.

We're not.

We are not doing a unity ritual during the ceremony. We also don't have a theme or specific wedding colors. We are using my parents' vows, so that is personal and special for us.

I didn't want to do any of those either. But I did find something about a "hand ceremony" basically you are holding hands and the officiant is talking about how these are the hands that will....

we might do it. not sure yet.

Your whole ceremony is a unity ceremony, and personally, I hate the candles. They are awkward, they really don't work outside, and if you're in a traditional church, they may not even allow them.

If you decide to do the wine box, which I actually like, please do not call it the 'first fight box"...I mean really, who wants that verbiage in the ceremony or the program?

We're doing a lot of;

glass sharings

tequila sharings

manhattan mixings

chocolate sharings

sushi sharings

hand tracings

hand fastings

dunk tanks (just kidding)

If something makes sense in the context of the relationship, do it. If not?

skip it.

@mataDC

I am Irish-American and grew up in a VERY Irish enclave. None of us had ever heard of the handfasting until this millennium. So, yes... it must just be a ritual in different sections of Ireland. I like the idea of this most of all of the unity rituals, as it is noted to be from my culture. But it ring kind of false with me, as it isn't a familial tradition. Kind of like wearing Hindu henna just because you like the look and are having a boho themed wedding, and not really understanding them on a deeper cultural level.

You can skip it!

We planted a tree.... unity tree!