Dj Tanner
June 2021

no social media Request?

Dj Tanner, on June 7, 2020 at 10:34 AM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 35

Hey All! So my FH and I have decided that we absolutely do not want any second of our wedding day to be posted on social media. Especially things like YouTube, where people from all around the country could potentially comment and some say mean things for whatever reason. Also, there will be people...
Hey All!
So my FH and I have decided that we absolutely do not want any second of our wedding day to be posted on social media. Especially things like YouTube, where people from all around the country could potentially comment and some say mean things for whatever reason. Also, there will be people that see all of it on Facebook and be upset because they weren’t invited specifically my mom’s side of the family, although my mom isn’t even invited for other reasons(feel free to read my forum post for that whole situation). How do I politely inform all of my guests about no photos or no posting on social media? I was thinking about putting it in the programs, but everyone says that people hardly read the program and I really want the message to be understood. How do I accomplish this?

35 Comments

  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
    • Flag
    A lot of people have no camera, no cell phones, weddings, and have for generations since small handheld cameras were invented. If you have an information sheet, put it on top with details and lodgings below. Tell people. Put it on your website. Pist it just before entering the venue, and in front of any coat check. Have the officiant announce it. Have the sign at the reception if you want no pics there too. You cannot control public spaces outdoors. But if you reserve or pay for a private ceremony space, or a reception space, you may ban pictures. And make it clear, anyone seen lifting a camera , and their SO and who family, will be thrown out, in the middle of dinner if need be. And do it. And if anyone mouths off when you tell them, as a couple of my FI SIL and Sister did, tell them they will be thrown out. And after the wedding, you will post everywhere about their sneaky, rude behavior, having a total lack of respect for friends. And tell them, you will embarass them in every platform, by just saying how childish and rude they are as guests.
    And do throw them out. ( Likely after 1, no others, they will take the hint. Treat it as though they deliberately dropped trousers, bend over and farted on your meal.
    Something we did and several friends have done was have a second photographer take pics of any group or pair who asked for it, outside or in a large Inn entryway, in the hour before the ceremony, during cocktails for us, as we did pics earlier, and then an hour of the reception well after dinner the main photographer did them in the well lit entryway ( dark out.)Our second was a photography student who is learning tge ropes from the photographer, so not high rates, assistant rates. But whether or not you do this, it is a private ceremony and party, and as hosts, you set the rules.After dinner, onr groomsman's girlfriend got caught. Evicted for the evening. Groomsman had her taken to lodgings by cab, and he stayed 5 more hours. Our in was in a no service without Cable or WIFI. And for the Inn and first 5 hours after, the Inn turned it off. Free local or long distance calls from lobby phones, and the desk answered calls to the desk, summoned people, as in a nice restaurant. Everyone was provided with the main number in advance, a WATTS Line ( free) for babysitters. At a social function, people were fine using the provided landlines. Nice to have no one using phones at all, as well as pics all done only by photographers. The photographer had worked it out with us, all files we said okay to of ours, only 4, and everyone in any posed group shot, was sent a photo file, except a few asked photographer for prints while being photographed. Many later ordered prints, photographer said. He did extra business long after the wedding . Older family particularly made a point of thanking us for someone to do group shots of grown kids and their families, older siblings together. Bunches of friends. You do not have to accept other people's attitude that there is no privacy anymore. It is nice to provide some memento, and we did no other favors. And none of our older women but 1 wanted a corsage ( fragile dresses) So other than that 1, We skipped corsages and bouts. So a tradeoff in what we were willing to pay for.
    • Reply
  • Dj Tanner
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
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    LMAOOOOO!!!!!!!!! Wow! Holy sht Haha!
    • Reply
  • Ellen
    Dedicated September 2020
    Ellen ·
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    Taking everyone’s phone for the entire wedding? Sheesh.
    • Reply
  • Ellen
    Dedicated September 2020
    Ellen ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    This is the most batshit thing I’ve ever read. I’m shocked this person has friends.
    • Reply
  • T.c
    Dedicated June 2020
    T.c ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    🤣🤣 my family is ruthless! Sometimes, I have to take it to the extreme for them to take me seriously.
    • Reply
  • Kristina
    Dedicated July 2020
    Kristina ·
    • Flag
    That’s a tough one because so many people post on social media. It’s rough telling someone they can’t post on their own page.
    • Reply
  • Anna
    VIP October 2020
    Anna ·
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    View Quoted Comment

    Unfortunately, just by not having social media posts is not going to prevent all of those hurt feelings and thinking they should’ve been invited. Minimizing the posts may help some but when others know that you’re getting married and they also know that they didn’t get an invitation, they can still feel jaded, pictures in their face or not.


    But if you really don’t want anything posted, I’d suggest putting it in your invitation, maybe even on the RSVP card where it’d be like they’re agreeing not to post. That’s what we do with my preschool, have parents agree not to post pictures of other kids when they come to celebrate birthdays. I’d also have reminders at the ceremony and reception, but again not everyone pays attention or chooses to listen.

    • Reply
  • Kari
    Master May 2020
    Kari ·
    • Flag

    You could have your officiant announce it at the beginning of the ceremony, include it on your wedding website, and have signs at your venue.

    You could also have an unplugged ceremony or entirely unplugged event and just rely on your photographer for pictures. Celebs will have events where everyone has to turn in their cell phones when the arrive just to ensure no photos leak out.

    Obviously, don't have a wedding hashtag. If you do and ask people not to post on social media, guests will be confused by the mixed messages.

    Also, frankly I think it's really rude to post anything about a wedding or of a wedding prior to the couple doing so themselves. Guests should always follow the lead of the couple. I don't really have an issue with people posting selfies of them and their dates at someone's wedding (even with a simple congrats message to the couple) but I think its really inappropriate to post photos of the ceremony or bride and groom without their permission, or until they have shared their own news publicly/socially. The couple should have the ultimate say on how their news is shared with the world.

    We eloped on our original date and I'm really grateful that no one posted anything about it, because we still haven't told all of our guests and I am planning to rewear my dress for our wedding so I don't want all of our guests seeing it before then. I wish everyone defaulted to this courtesy but sadly that is not always the case.

    • Reply
  • A
    Super August 2020
    Alex ·
    • Flag

    There is literally no way to control this. You can ask politely, but it is going to happen regardless. The only way you could control this is not to have any guests.

    • Reply
  • Dj Tanner
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
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    Dang I never realized how many people would want to post my ceremony online. Lol
    • Reply
  • A
    Super August 2020
    Alex ·
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    You post says absolutely no social media. That is unrealistic.

    I don't think there is much risk of someone videoing your whole wedding lol, but that's not what you asked.

    • Reply
  • Ellen
    Dedicated September 2020
    Ellen ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    It’s not necessarily about your wedding, people like to post pictures from special events as they are dressed up and want to capture those images with their friends and family.
    • Reply
  • Dj Tanner
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
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    You’re right, thanks for the helpful tip
    • Reply
  • Dj Tanner
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    Very true. I guess I just have to accept the fact that people can’t stay away from social media for one day.
    • Reply
  • Martha
    Devoted February 2024
    Martha ·
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    You can change your settings so that you are not tagged, it may cut down on what others see. As for people signing off to get included for me this started after we announced our engagement, people I barely spoke with wanted an invite.

    I guess one other thing you can try is to see if your venue can turn the wifi off in the room that way there is no live posts happening during the event, but in reality unless you collect their phones/ devices for the day there will be posting on social media from your event.

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