Dj Tanner
June 2021

no social media Request?

Dj Tanner, on June 7, 2020 at 10:34 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 1 35
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Hey All!
So my FH and I have decided that we absolutely do not want any second of our wedding day to be posted on social media. Especially things like YouTube, where people from all around the country could potentially comment and some say mean things for whatever reason. Also, there will be people that see all of it on Facebook and be upset because they weren’t invited specifically my mom’s side of the family, although my mom isn’t even invited for other reasons(feel free to read my forum post for that whole situation). How do I politely inform all of my guests about no photos or no posting on social media? I was thinking about putting it in the programs, but everyone says that people hardly read the program and I really want the message to be understood. How do I accomplish this?

35 Comments

Latest activity by Martha, on June 12, 2020 at 1:27 PM
  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
    • Flag

    I know there are signs you can post as they enter but I would maybe put it in the invitation or depending on how many people you plan to invite reach out to them. Maybe at the ceremony and reception have someone announce that. However, I hate to say this but be ready for those that choose not to listen. I totally get where you are coming from but you cannot fully police what people do with their phones and their social media accts. I would specify that this is a phone free event or something.

    • Reply
  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
    • Flag

    Honestly, I think that's going to be a difficult request to enforce. Most people are going to post whatever they want on Facebook or whatever social media they use. Also, your vendors are likely going to post things from your wedding. Our photographer, DJ, decorator, videographer and venue posted things on their social media pages as a way of advertising. You can't really expect your vendors not to post something as that's how they advertise their services. I would have at your wedding that expresses your wishes, but know that mean might decide to ignore it.

    • Reply
  • Dj Tanner
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Yeah, I understand that. I’m not having a photographer partly because of this. I’m only having a videographer which I don’t care if they post anything. They do amazing work n I’m actually excited for people to see that. it’s more so just for my guests and posting on Facebook. We were pretty selective on our guest list and I just don’t want to have to deal with people thinking that my wedding day should’ve included them.
    • Reply
  • Dj Tanner
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Yeah good idea, I think probably the invitations will get the message across as well as an additional sign as a reminder.
    • Reply
  • Nicole
    Master September 2020
    Nicole ·
    • Flag
    Have your officiant make an announcement about it before the ceremony starts.
    • Reply
  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    You can definitely make this request, but beware that guests might not listen.

    • Reply
  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    You could have a photographer. Just tell them not to tag you on social media because what are the chances of your family looking up a specific photographer. I would tell the videographer too to not tag you. FH has not told his family yet (even though I keep nagging him to) because he is not close to him and does not see the purpose because he could careless what they think but I asked my photographer and officiant to not tag us but I allowed them to post a pic of us on their social media because I know his family nor mine would think to randomly look up these people. I want to not publicly post too much until they know our plan. I think your heart is in a good place but honestly why care what people think that they should have been included. I assume you did not invite them because you do not have a close relationship to them. I can say that it can be hurtful for someone you thought you were cool with to have an event but not invite you but I am still happy for them and if anything I just brush it off and think I won't invite them to any of my pre-wedding events because clearly we are not that tight. They may do the same but it is your day and you should not be stressed worrying about what others think. Smiley smile

    • Reply
  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
    • Flag
    I would have a sign asking people to please refrain from posting to social media. However...



    1. I think people are very unlikely to post anything to YouTube from someone else’s wedding, so I wouldn’t be concerned about that.

    2. You can change your settings on Facebook so that you cannot be tagged in someone else’s photo unless you approve it. So that way if you have a friend who posts a photo, unless your relatives are friends with that person on Facebook, they would never see the photo since you wouldn’t approve the tag of yourself.
    • Reply
  • T.c
    Dedicated June 2020
    T.c ·
    • Flag
    I laid all the rules out and let everyone know there will be no phones. I suggested that they leave their phones in the car. We will have it announced multiple times before the ceremony starts. I even thought to take it to the extreme and take everyone’s phone.
    • Reply
  • Alythea
    Dedicated May 2020
    Alythea ·
    • Flag
    I would just let my guest know in advice. Me and my husband took plenty of pictures and videos but didn’t alone anyone post on social media nor did we post anything we did a FaceTime to family that I wanted there and that’s it. You guest should be able to respect your wish on you big day.
    • Reply
  • Elizabeth
    Super June 2021
    Elizabeth ·
    • Flag

    I would put a sign up, put it in the programs, and have the officiant announce it. Then it's very, very clear to everyone and if they chose to ignore it, it looks bad on them.

    • Reply
  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag
    I can only think of announcing it and putting it on programs if you have any or on a sign
    • Reply
  • M
    Dedicated October 2021
    Megan ·
    • Flag

    Plus one for "this is going to be dang near impossible to enforce."

    You can put up signs, but I honestly doubt that'll stop people from posting pictures of themselves/their dates, etc.

    Additionally, unless you're inviting a lot of YouTube stars... I'm not sure that would be the medium most would post to? Is there a specific reason you're worried about YouTube? People posting videos of my wedding to YouTube hasn't crossed my mind at all.

    Also, per PP advice: *don't* ask people to leave phones in their cars and ESPECIALLY *don't* ask them for their phones/take their phones away. That's a legitimately ridiculous tactic.

    • Reply
  • Dj Tanner
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Lol I would never ask for their phones or tell them no phones. I mentioned YouTube because I was looking up first dances just for fun, and for the most part all good comments but then you get these awful random losers that just say horrible things. And then also I was pretty specific with the guest list. There are definitely aunts and uncle‘s that are coming and others aren’t and I’m just simply trying to avoid any sort of conflict ahead of time. Also I don’t mind at all if guests take pictures of themselves and post it on their Facebook’s, but I just don’t want them posting pictures of my wedding in general, like I’ll look at this or, look at the beautiful grounds kind of thing. I know it kind of sounds crazy but it’s my special day. Facebook is so much drama and I don’t even have a Facebook. I’m a pretty private person, but my fiancé has a Facebook and it just gets so crazy seeing some of the things people post. I feel like it will help avoid a lot of arguments if people just don’t post anything to be completely honest.
    • Reply
  • VIP August 2020
    ·
    • Flag
    People might not read the program, but it doesn't hurt to put it in there anywhere. You can also put an "unplugged wedding" sign near the entrance and have your officiant make an announcement, also put it on your website if you have one. Unplugged might be easier to maintain than just "no social media" because people will see if someone else is taking a picture and tell them not to. The officiant at one wedding I went to said that the couple wanted to be the first ones to post pictures of their wedding on social and asked everyone to wait until the couple posted anything before guests did and he said it would probably be a day or two before the couple posted anything. That might be a good way to handle it if you think people will ignore your request, because most people will find it reasonable that you want to share first, but also most people only want to post things while they happen. If you made that ^ announcement and then posted one really great picture with no hashtags a few weeks after your wedding, you would probably end up with very few posts from other people.
    • Reply
  • Emily
    Super August 2020
    Emily ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    I think this is a good idea! Just do the second option and maybe put it in your programs the day of!
    • Reply
  • Rebecca
    Master August 2019
    Rebecca ·
    • Flag

    Preblock people on social media, so that they can't see pictures that you are tagged in.

    You can ask for unplugged or no social media, but that's going to be hard for people to solve. Untag yourself when the pictures pop up, block, block, block, and don't read comments.


    • Reply
  • L
    Expert September 2020
    ·
    • Flag
    The same way as people who request unplugged ceremonies do it. Just make a sign or put it in the program. You should probably be prepared that people will still post selfies of themselves, you cant really tell them not to do that but you can ask that no other pictures are posted without your permission
    • Reply
  • Dj Tanner
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Yeah I mean I don’t care about people taking selfies it’s more so like my ceremony or first dance kind of stuff. I would never ask people to turn off their cellphones either, I just hope they read the program
    • Reply
  • L
    Expert September 2020
    ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Or you could have the officiant announce it before the ceremony
    • Reply

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