No rehearsal, meet up instead

One of my friends did a meet up type of thing after the rehearsal dinner. The rehearsal / dinner was just wedding party and their dates. Afterwards, we all went back to the hotel and headed to the bar. Other out of town people joined us - it was a very casual thing and everyone paid for their own stuff. I don't believe they sent out anything formal - it was just word of mouth that we were all heading to the bar at 9pm or whatever time it was.

We are having a very casual wedding party meet up at the park where the ceremony is taking place, and afterwards we are going to my in laws a mile from the park for pizza.

It's totally okay to do something like this. You don't have to throw an elaborate rehearsal dinner. You do have to provide dinner and drinks for everyone.

You should pay, we are doing a similar thing and since we have so many coming picked a local pizza and sandwich shop to host it at. Maybe look for a place that will fit into your budget a bit better.

We are doing our rehearsal dinner at a place that has a party room with pool tables, darts, and a patio. It will be a taco bar and we are paying for all of it including drinks. We are limiting it to just wedding party/immediate family and spouses though. I get including the out of town guests but if you invite everyone who will be at the wedding that might be overkill? I woulf just suggest wedding party/spouses and pay for it, keep it smaller. But no, I don't think it's a tacky idea to go to a place like D&B. We wanted something more fun and laid back like that too! Great idea!

I would recommend trying to pay for food at least. My best friend did this at her wedding. We just all met up at a pizza place and they bought the pizzas and everyone else got what alcohol they wanted. It worked out well. A couple of the groomsmen were sweet and got pitchers of beer. It was maybe $100 for the bride/groom, so not outrageous.

It also doesn't have to be a dinner. Do your rehearsal, take the bridal party out for a beer or two, and then everyone can go home/do whatever they want to prepare for the next day.

We are doing something simple. We are having pizza and chips.

Hmmm, sometimes I think all this "properly hosted" stuff gets a little out of hand. Yes I agree one should properly host their guests, but to miss an opportunity to spend quality time with family and friends doesn't make sense to me. I think spreading the word about a meet up is perfectly acceptable and if I was the OOT guest, I wouldn't expect you to pay for me. To avoid any etiquette issues though, it may be better that the "word" comes from one of your parents or someone else beside you. Dave and Busters is a great choice

Then don't have a dinner. Or do a get together at your house

@wed1819 I agree. I want to be able to see my friends/family from out of town but don't necessarily want to have a rehearsal dinner with everyone. FMIL offered to pay for the rehearsal dinner and wants to invite everyone from OOT but that seems too much to me. I'd much rather have a small rehearsal lunch with BP/SO's and then just spread the word that we are going somewhere for happy hour or to hang out and relax if anyone else wants to hang out. But 80% of our guest list is OOT and a rehearsal dinner with them all would make me feel more obligated to stay longer and seems more stressful.

May be UO but if you aren't doing a rehearsal, then there is no need to call it/invite people to a rehearsal dinner. I don't see any problem with saying "Hey, the night before the wedding FH & I will be at Dave & Buster's. If you want to hang out with us, cool. If not, see you at the wedding!"

If you were trying to invite extra people to a rehearsal dinner and not covering cost, that'd be one thing. But I think doing a casual "we will be here" kind of thing just to see people for an extra day won't hurt anybody.

I'm not doing a rehearsal dinner. I'm doing a walkthrough two days before just to make sure all the basis are covered and that I did not forget anything.

Sorry Folks.... have a rehearsal. The dinner after doesn't have to be fancy. It's a huge day and people need to know where to go, especially little flower girls and ring bearers. A quick day of run thru??? Uh... Everybody is in panic mode. hair, dressing etc. Who would have time? Besides the groom would obviously see the bride. Major Bad Luck if you follow traditions.

Pam, I can’t believe all these people telling you not to organize it unless you’re paying. You clearly stated you just don’t have the budget on top of the wedding and I’m in the exact same boat! Trafitional etiquette for weddings may be that the rehearsal dinner is hosted/paid for but times have changed and don’t let money stop you from spending time with your out of town guests and wedding guests. Rehearsals are for organizing and practicing the routine I think you got that, but the dinner is to spend special bonding time with you wedding party and out of town guests right before the big day so I don’t want you to miss out. We are planning a meet up and if people think that’s cheap that’s on them. I’d be more than happy to pay for my own food and drinks to spend more time with you if I was your real friend. So plan as you wish! I’m planning to call it “night before meet up”